A very Relaxing Holiday or Do Y'all Want To Come Over?

This year was the first Thanksgiving Day I’ve spent on my own schedule. No conforming to everyone else’s eating preferences, times or seating charts.

We had no last second dashes to the store to pick up “just one more pie” for Uncle Fred who originally said he wouldn’t be there, but came anyway.

We had no time specification as to how long to sit at the table, when to begin the clean up or how long we should wait before eating to ensure that everyone is at the house who said they would be.

What did we do differently, you ask? Well, for starters, I told my mother I would not --under any circumstances-- partake of the meal with her, her asshole husband and his idiotic, annoying, severely-dependent on Daddy, children. I told my son we were staying home and doing things the right way this year.

We watched the Macy’s parade together. Ate cereal for breakfast and then decided we would eat our Thanksgiving Day meal at 2 p.m. I began cooking at 12:30 p.m. (He wanted ham instead of turkey —thank God.) We watched football after cleaning up the kitchen and then went to a movie last night.

It was a wonderfully relaxing experience. We will do this again at Christmas.

Now, would any of the teeming millions like to share in the relaxing holiday atmosphere at my place next year. Don’t bring stuff, (well, maybe a beer or two), just be prepared to eat. We won’t set a time or RSVP. Y’all just need to show up. Let me know so I can stock up on paper plates so that no one has KP duty.

See everyone next year.

I didn’t know the “right way” included eating cereal for breakfast on Thanksgiving. Will try to do better next year.

But I’d like to add, for next year, the suggestion that the “right way” ought to include having someone else do all the cooking. Period.

I believe the least relaxing holiday is Chinese New Year.
It’s so confused it’s held after the calendar date, about a week I believe.