No, the younger girl started drinking at 14 or 15 and slowed down a lot around 16. She might drink once every 2 or 3 months, which I don’t consider unusual for a college-aged girl.
What I do find unusual is people that aren’t in the wedding that keep asking if they’ll see me at the wedding party. So much for “just people in the wedding” being there. By this point all I can do is smile.
Smile?
Why is your “friend” treating you this way?
What you can do is take your girlfriend out instead of accumulating any more footprints on your forehead.
Given that Douche #2 has basically usurped (with the explicit enabling of your friend) the best man job, take your leave of the Douche’s party. If you do show up, do so with your girlfriend, and take no shit from anyone.
So how close are you to this supposed “friend?”
He’s been my best friend for about 5 years now. Since getting engaged, he rarely answers texts or calls from any of our group anymore. It’s really strange when they invite me over for a movie or something and they whisper for ten minutes before she goes into the bedroom and sounds like she’s laughing or crying, I can’t tell, and then he goes back there and they talk for 20 minutes, leaving me on the couch in the living room not knowing what in the world is going on. This has happened several times.
We’re starting to get a pretty good group together for the real party. A couple of us are picking up our tuxes tonight and stopping at the liquor store on the way home.
Dude, I’ve known far too many couples like that - more than I care to count. Either the guy or the girl suddenly stops meeting/contacting former friends after engagement or marriage.
It’s normal for this to happen when a couple first gets together - hell, they are going to be far more interested in rubbing the bacon with each other! But by the time engagement/marriage rolls around, the couple should be back to enjoying the company of mutual friends. When that doesn’t happen, it’s because one member of the couple is controlling who the other member can meet.
And that’s a good sign in terms of what kind of footing the marriage balance is on.
I’ve known lots of couples like that. I don’t know any that are still happily married.
The marriage is not going to end well. If he is your best friend, or even just a good friend, you definitely need to let him know your concerns - ensure him you’re his friend, you’ll be their for him when he needs you. Don’t let yourself be involved in the slow-motion trainwreck - but don’t let him walk in front of the train without at least trying to give him a warning, even though most of the time the person will be too stubborn to listen…
I wouldn’t want to be involved. The party’s going to be a disaster as is the marriage. Clearly, you’re not the best man anymore so just bow out and wish them well.
I’d show up drunk to the party and make sure I groped the fiance’s tit before I got thrown out. And I’d make sure to get them a pretty cheap wedding present that wasn’t on their registry.
I, too, think the groom is being an arse. However, I do read the bolded section as “Duh, of course H would be there, it’s her house.” rather than an implication to kick H out of her house during the party. The part I took as referencing the wedding party was the apparent addition of R, who is (I think) not part of the wedding party.
It is possible that I’ve lost track - for example, I’m not sure if H or R is your girlfriend/date. If it’s H, then I think it’s a possible misinterpretation. If it’s R, then the Groom is being a total douche.
I think we should send Miss Manners a link to this thread - see if it makes her head pop. You don’t invite people over then disappear into the back bedroom, leaving your guest alone and wondering what the hell is going on! You might get your best friend back after he’s done with this girl, FordTaurus, but until then, I’d put this friendship on the back burner. Show up at the wedding with a gift that you can afford, make nice, then go your own way.
This is where you lost me. I would have considered walking away then and there. Nobody should ever tell someone else they are in charge of a party.
If someone wants to throw a party for you, great. If not, you’re out of luck.
When he asked if H would be there, he followed up with how he doesn’t want her at the party, meaning if it’s at her house then she would obviously have to be there. R is just another male friend thas has had Friend 1 at a few of his parties in the past.
There’s another groomsman that I don’t think the bride likes that just send me a text saying that he just heard from another groomsman’s dad that the rehearsal dinner is tonight. Neither of us have heard anything about it. As far as I know, none of the wedding group knows that I won’t be at the party tomorrow night, so I don’t know what brought this on, especially for the one that sent the text, since he hasn’t been involved with any of this garbage yet.
Are you sure you’re still the best man (or even in the wedding party)? You seem to be getting excluded from all the wedding party stuff.
He sent a text yesterday saying that I can pick up my tux when I get a chance. I sent back that I was picking it up tonight and he never said anything back, so I assume I’m still in the wedding. There’s no reason he would exclude the other groomsman though.
Stranger and stranger. I guess show up dressed in a tux at the appointed time, and see how it goes. 
ETA: If you wanted to be the bigger person, you could call the groom and ask if he wants you at the rehearsal dinner. I guess you could write off a lot of this weirdness to last-minute confusion and too much to do.
Wait, nobody has mentioned anything about a rehearsal dinner to you at all?
The single most important thing to remember is: Take notes for the ‘I was in a wedding from hell’ thread.
Nobody has said anything about it to me or the guy that told me he heard about it from a third party.
Notes AND pictures! I know weddings are stressful and chaotic, but this is shaping up to be epic.
So, prior to today, you didn’t even know there was going to be a rehearsal dinner at any date?
If I found out that I, as a member of the wedding party, wasn’t invited to the rehearsal dinner, I probably wouldn’t go to the wedding. If I had been through what you have gone through as the supposed “best man”, wouldn’t even show up to pick up my tux.
Granted, I’d try to make sure I knew for sure before doing any of the above.
No shit. I mean, part of the compensation for all the grief of being a Best Man is that you are supposed to get two free fancy dinners instead of just one, and the groom is supposed to get you a gift. I mean, I don’t know if it would be out of place, since he apparently felt you needed to be told that as the BM, you had to throw the party that you are now not throwing, but I might remind him of his duties as the groom are to