A new experience - at least inintentionally so. I was walking along the sidewalk with my sarnies in hand when this woman coming the other way decided to switch “lanes”, as it were, she was on a different section of sidewalk, separated by columns supporting the roof bit, and she just bounced right off me, landing none the worse for wear but a bit shocked looking on her bum, looking a bit like a Hobbit who’s fallen off a Shetland pony. No harm done, but, I thought, a first worth mentioning.
Happens to me all the time as people think they can push me during rush hour on the Tokyo trains. A few times when I just notice that someone is about to accidentally run into me, I have to brace myself and have my arms ready to grab them as they fall. More times than not, I am the one left standing.
Thanks for coming out for me there, JapDude. It must be devilishly tantalising to have all those secretaries in your arms one minute and out cold on the platform the next. Strange thing about my collision today is that I never saw the woman till the last moment. She obviously decided at the last minute that she would change lane (imagine a highway with a wall in the central reservation to get an idea of the sidewalk topography), pulled out round a blind corner without checking oncoming traffic and paid the price. She was very apologetic about the whole thing, though, muttering something in Cantonese about having to get to the yam cha restaurant while dishes were at half price.
I was skiing in Montana with my family. My dad and my stepmother were in the chair just behind me, and as they got off and were coming down the ramp, she got a little bit too far to one side and couldn’t make the turn to get all the way clear. Not still on the ramp, but just in the area it emptied into. She came down with kind of an awkard twist to her knee and ankle. And just as I got back to help her up, I heard “look out!”, and looked up just in time to get bowled over by another woman coming off the lift. She was very apologetic and I was lying in the snow laughing.
My husband swears he must have some kind of mysterious gravitational field that attracts small children, as he’ll even be standing still and some young child will deviate from his or her path and run smack into him. He’s a very tall and broad man, so it’s not hard to see him.
I was ice skating once and a rather inexperienced and out-of-control girl bounced off me, well she would have bounced off me, had she not grabbed my right shoulder with her left hand, plus a handful of my trousers, that just happened to also include my penis, with her right. She realised almost straight away what had happened, but was off-balance and couldn’t let go. I helped her regain balance and she mumbled an apology, then skated away with her face as red as a pillarbox.
Same kinda thing happened to me a couple weeks ago. Was coming back to my cube at work. Came around the corner - our project manager was coming the other way, and was drinking a cup of water at the time. He didn’t see me, I couldn’t move in time - bounce! I landed on my butt, and broke a bit of toenail. He felt so bad, especially since the broken toenail started bleeding. No permanent damage - but we did tease him a little bit for the next couple days.
OK, here’s mine. My husband and I were out at our local pub. He spent most of the evening playing video golf with his buddies, and I walked around talking to different groups of friends. Each time I would pass my husband, I would wink at him, or pat his butt. Just being silly, flirting with him.
When it was time to leave, I decide to do one more thing. As we walked single file down the aisle to the front door, a couple of steps before the door I abrubtly stop. He is not expecting me to stop right there, so he rams right into my backside. I lean back into him and whisper, “Hey, that is pretty impressive big boy. If I take you home with me, think you can think up something fun to do with that thing?”
I get my answer, “Uh, …ok.” But it is not my husband’s voice. I turn around and see that my husband had stopped along the way to talk to a friend, and some other guy was right behind me.
I was so embarrassed. The guy is just looking at me, smiling. I try to explain, “Oh, I am so sorry, I thought you were my husband…” He says, “Really? If my wife had ever talked to me like that, I might still be married!”
The reverse of that is that I once sat on a woman. On an almost empty bus in broad daylight. I can only imagine her shock as this 6’5" guy weighing 250 pounds just sits on her.
I was very apologetic and thankfully she took the whole affair with ease.
It was a thursday so the hill was relatively empty and we (the ski team) were training for a friday race. I was coming down a warmup run parallel to the race course and crested a roll at a pretty good clip. Coming up on it I was focused on the take off and landing but suddenly imagined somebody just beyond the crest that I would not see until it was too late. And guess what?!.. The woman was a beginner and sliding her way across the hill just below me. I’m up in the air and have no way of changing direction. So I just stood up and opened my arms to protect her as best I could from the impending impact. There was really no time to think of anything better. She never saw me coming and was probably more relaxed because of it. I took her clear out of her bindings and because she was much smaller and lighter than me, I was able to carry her in my arms until I came to a stop. She was winded and frightened and in a bit of shock but unharmed. I walked up the hill to get her skis which were sitting parallel right where I hit her.
I have a ski story as well. I’m walking at the bottom of a ski slope towards the lodge, at a 90 degree agle to the hill. Some really little kid who didn’t know how to stop runs into me at full speed. He fell over and started crying. I get pushed back a bit, but stay on my feet. His parents, or some caring adults rush over as I’m trying to manuver over to the kid (I’m not very agile on skiis).
HA! And i thought it was only me this ever happened to!
There i am walking through the Underground in London changing from train Jubilee Line to Bakerloo Line. The tracks run parallel at that point and are about 30/40m apart. To get from one to the other you walk along a cross-tunnel which is at 90 degrees to each.
As i exited the cross-tunnel i glanced right and left to make sure there was nobody i was going to bump into and then crossed the platform to get on the train that was waiting. As i had looked i had seen a blonde-chicky a little way off, walking towards me who i would have to cross paths with but as i was obviously boarding the train she’d walk behind me right? I mean even the fact that she seems to be walking along staring at the ceiling doesn’t take away from the fact that you wouldn’t try to walk between a person stepping on a train and the actual train, right?
Nope. As i was lifting my foot to climb onto the train blonde-chickywalked straight into me and bounced back. Would have been sitting on her ass if i hadn’t caught her I asked if she was ok but she just looked confused and then continued on her way down the platform looking at the ceiling as she went. (Next day i waited there and looked about trying to work out what she had been looking at but there was nothing - fuckwit passengers!).
Ha, I got sat on by a random stranger. Late-night bus plus standing girl yakking on cellphone times a sharp curve in the road, carry the one, equals a big denim-jeaned butt of doom shoved in your face, with a remainder of one very thoroughly squashed goddess of love.
[hijack]
I had a similar experience, but in my case, I was looking straight at my mistake. I went to a swim meet at the end of the morning session, so my wife could take the morning session kiddos home, while I took care of the afternoon. I saw this petite blonde, with a butt remarkably resembling Mrs. Slow’s, bending over near people from our team. I walked up, placed my hand lightly on her butt and said “Hi Honey.” I must have looked pretty shocked when this stranger stood up and looked at me, because her face went from outrage to laughter in less than a second.
[/end hijack]
In college, I was quickly striding in a supermarket, looking down the aisles for something, when some waist-sized child ran into me from the back of the store. The poor kid went spinning on his butt for a considerable distance. Fortunately, his mom saw everything and quickly ran over and apologized to me, even while I was feeling like a $hit.
I asked if she was ok but she just looked confused and then continued on her way down the platform looking at the ceiling as she went. (Next day i waited there and looked about trying to work out what she had been looking at but there was nothing - fuckwit passengers!).