I still can’t believe this happened. Here’s my summary:
(1) Pot, cleverly hidden away in an empty rosemary jar and forgotten in the back of the spice cupboard.
(2) Innocent Indian girlfriend comes to visit boyfriend and family for X-mas, prepares rosemary potatoes for dinner for boyfriend and his mother, who is recovering from breast cancer. Uses liberal amounts of said rosemary.
(3) Large quantity of pot sautéed in olive oil and consumed orally with potatoes and garlic proves to be powerful hallucinogen.
(4) Indian girlfriend alternates between laughing hysterically, sobbing uncontrollably, and asking whoever is closest if she looks fat. Mother performs striking impersonation of Borlis Karloff before weeping and projectile vomiting on floor.
(5) Boyfriend, whose insatiable gluttony resulted in him consuming startling amounts of rosemary potatoes, visually hallucinates and becomes convinced they either (a) are being poisoned by carbon monoxide and MUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW, or (b) have already suffered fatal wounds from an unknown source and are in the midst of pre-death hallucinations (see Bierce’s “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge), before concluding that** ©** the very fabric of space and time is being ripped apart (most likely due to activities of the Hadron Super Collider). Each hypothesis is believed with full certainty and acted on accordingly.
What a Christmas.