A few months ago I had to move halfway across the country and back in with my parents. A couple who THEY knew when they lived in that same area offered their help in getting my stuff down here; the female half of said couple had helped us pack my stuff up and move the vast majority of it into temporary storage, as there was no way to move it all on short notice.
Then they offered to DRIVE IT DOWN here. Six hundred miles. These are genuinely GOOD people, born and raised in small Georgia towns. Granted that they get free room and board over Mardi Gras, this is still a HUGE favor to do for anybody.
We get a phone call at 9:30 at night from said female half of the couple. Her husband, driving the rental truck, is STUCK ON THE FREEWAY. In the LEFT LANE. Behind a broken down truck! And he’s FUCKING SCARED TO PULL OUT!!! My mom calls the cops, but before they get there, the two of them coordinate making room for him to pull out. They arrive at the house.
First thing, Mom tells them to LOCK THEIR CAR. You CAN’T leave a car unlocked around here. The car gets locked, no problem.
Three days later, we finally have the chance to go to the storage place and drop off the truck and my stuff. “Where are the keys?”
“In the truck,” he says.
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
ALL OF MY WORLDLY GOODS WERE IN A TRUCK WHICH WAS UNLOCKED WITH THE FUCKING KEYS IN IT FOR THREE DAYS!!! THAT’S LIKE SCREAMING “STEAL ME! PLEASE!” I COULD HAVE LOST FUCKING EVERYTHING!!! I ALREADY LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND MY DARLING CAT DURING THE LAST TWO MONTHS!!! I WOULD HAVE ENDED UP IN A FUCKING MENTAL HOSPITAL IF I’D LOST EVERYTHING I OWN ON TOP OF THAT!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!
He’s a very nice guy. BUT TOTALLY FUCKING CLUELESS!!! THIS IS NOT A SMALL FUCKING TOWN!!! IT"S A REAL HONEST-TO-FUCKING-GOD CITY!!! YOU DON’T FUCKING DO THAT!!!
That feels MUCH better. Ahhhhhhh…