AAAAAHHHH! (or Astrofiancee displays a flaw!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I’m out with Astrofiancee (a woman whom I had previously thought to be virtually without flaw) earlier today. A friend of hers has opened a bar! Cool! Let’s go!

We get to the bar (in Tae-hak-no, a fashionable district in Seoul for college students…), sit down, and Astrofiancee says, “I have to go to the bathroom!”

“OK,” I say, “Hurry back!”

She goes off… while she is gone, the waiter comes up to take our order… I asked what brands of beer they offer. He lists several kinds of beer, but one catches my ear: “Heineken.”

Now, I’m stuck in Seoul, where the choice of beer is somewhat less than one might want, so I am immediatley thrown into seizures of desire for a Heiny!! I haven’t had a Heiny for years!! So I say, “Two Heinekens, please! Not shaken, nor stirred! Just ice-cold, and saucy!!!”

A few seconds later (can’t fault this place for service!) the beers arrive, and I take a MOST SATISFYING swig… OH, MAN!! That’s good shit!…

A few seconds later, Astrofiancee arrives, newly refreshed, from the bathroom…

She looks at the table and says, “Heineken?? I HATE Heineken!! Too bitter!”

(imagine now, if you will, the Big-Bang in reverse…) My WORLD collapses!!!

I LOVE this woman! And NOW I find out (after 5 years together) that she hates Heineken!?!
Oh GOD! What shall I do?? Heineken? Or Astrofiancee??

2

Be very careful, Astroboy! Hideous flaws can crop up in significant others at any time. For instance, after 8 happy years of marriage, I discovered that my husband doesn’t like the Straight Dope! Clearly, if I had known about this shortcoming before we were married, I’d have kicked him to the curb. However, by the time I found out, it was too late. We already had 2 kids, car payments, etc. I was in too deep to get out. Learn from my tragedy, brother, get out while there’s still time.

Jess (BTW, the betrayals continue – he doesn’t like tuna cassarole! Or the X-Files! He drinks MGD! He wants to see Hannibal! Abusive bastard.

3

Jess, I’m afraid there’s nothing for it. The only way to save your marriage is to become a Surrendered Wife. You must always defer to his taste in TV & movies, and force yourself to simper and feign respect for his desire to see “Hannibal”. I know it’s hard, but it’s the only way. Just drop Laura Doyle a line (and don’t forget to enclose a check or money order for her upcoming book “Slave Wives of Gor”) and she’ll tell you the same thing.

Astrob, I’m afraid you’ll have to apologize to Astrof, because Heineken does, in fact, suck. Keep her, she’s a gem.

No, don’t thank me. Relationship advice is all in a day’s work. Why else would I be an accountant?

4

My boyfriend puts mayo on ANYTHING
It s disgusting…

Leave her right now :wink:
And then ask the beer out.

dodgy

5

You’ll have to forgive her bad taste in beer. After all, she has excellent taste in men, right? Just as long as she doesn’t mind if YOU drink that wonderful elixir…

6

Seems a pretty easy choice to me Astroboy. You can taste the lip of a glass of Heineken, or the lips of a beautiful woman. Uh… duh. :wink:

My father hates… no… deplores chocolate, and he and my mother seem to get along quite well.

Anyway, I’m sure that, given enough time, you could eventually get Astrofiancee to like Heineken… You know, sneak a little into her water bottle, make some really really spicy kimchee and some even spicier bulgogi(sp?), and make sure it’s the only thing in the house to drink. :wink:

7

Astroboy14, Heineken? Touch your nose! Really???

And how did Astrofiancee take your revealing the tremendous flaw of your enjoyment of this skanky brew?

-Doug

8

Lemme see if I understand this:

Your fiance hates Heineken. So you are about to enter into a marriage where, for the rest of your entire life, you can confidently leave your Heinekens in the fridge without fear of wifely pilfering – is that about right?

And you consider this a flaw?

Astro, you just hit the wife jackpot! Don’t wait for some dopey ceremony – find a Justice of the Peace or mayor or whatever the civil authorities use over there and marry this women now!

9

If you don’t want her, I’ll take her.

Heiniken is too skunky.

10

manny hit the nail on the head. She doesn’t like Heineken. More for you. Next problem?

11

i saw a poster once that suits this situation perfectly. It was of a really hot woman who was in the process of removing her top. She had it over her head, and the shirt, in its state of removal, was barely covering her nipples. You could see the bottoms of her breasts.

The caption? Can your beer do this?
It was a beautiful poster. Think about it. :smiley:

12

Odd… First time I screwed up my coding. And I really hadnt expected it to bold my sig!

13

You and my husband!!! That stuff is bad.
And true, when we go out he never has to worry about me sipping his beer while his back is turned.

And thanks dublos! Do you know what hot coffee does to the inside of ones nose?
I remember that is a rule that one or the other cannot fib while touching the nose, but now you are in for it since you let the rest of us know.

14

Whoa! You guys are right! If she doesn’t like MY beer then it ALL MINE!! Yee Ha! For once, I win one!:smiley:

However, she DOES like soju… so I have to drink that stuff (imagine really cheap vodka filtered through used gym-socks, eeewww!). It does the job, however…

Side issue: today is April Fool’s day, and also my birthday (gonna start another thread about that)! Astrofiancee and my bidness partner took me out to a really good restaurant (where they humiliate you if it’s your B’day… make you wear a silly hat and make everyone sing “happy birthday” in Korean while they take pictures of your humiliation), and I found out that Astrofiancee DOES like Corona! So maybe we can work out a compromise…

I guess I’ll keep her… but I still have to check her on Dos Equis, Full Sail Ale, Terminator Stout, and other beer not normally available here.

15

Glad to hear you’re keeping her. I was worried. :slight_smile:

It’s like, I’ve never understood Juliana’s ex. Would spend hours on the computer rather than time with her. I’m smarter. I’ll spend hours with Julie-babe my wife rather than the computer. After all, the computer will be there later. Females you’re not too sure about.

[sub]Beer? :Barf:[/sub]

16

I thought that’d be kinda kinky…