Suggested by the “Beer, Glorious Beer” thread: I have been drinking beer for many years. My favorites are Czech, German, and French (!) beer. But there are three beers I just can’t stand. If they are all that is available, I drink a Coke. The three are Becks, St. Pauli Girl, and Rolling Rock (I’ll never, never understand the cult following the last one has). What about you? Forgetting about obviously inferior products, are there any well-regarded beers you hate?
So, we are discounting BudMillerCoors, then? 
Newcastle. Blech. I know it defines Brown Ale, but it reeks. I can brew much better brown that this, and have on numerous occasions. If it’s the only thing on tap, I’ll take a Coke, thanks.
Pretty much any Scottish beer. I wish I could put my finger on what I don’t like about them, but I don’t think I’ve ever had one I really liked. (Not that I didn’t finish them – the worst beer I ever had is still like the worst sex I ever had – absolutely magnificent.)
Pilsner Urquell. It gets a lot of press as a Czech beer, but as Czech beers go, it’s at the lower end of the spectrum from, say, Budvar or other premium brews. Heineken does nothing for me either, nor does Carlsberg. Of course, beer is best when fresh, so the shipping has something to do with it.
I’ll agree with an utter lack of understanding about the Rolling Rock thing.
I can’t stand Budweiser. Though that may be more because of the fact it’s a lager. It tastes like sugar water to me. Way too sweet. I prefer pilsners.
Fat Tire, and the dozen or so microbrews around here that have an almost identical taste - I’ll drink Michelob before I’ll drink another Fat Tire. If my homebrews came out tasting like that, I’d, well, I’d change the recipe…
I don’t think we should. There have been many times when I’ve been faced with a choice of mass-marketed commercial beers. The host who knows I like beer and asks, “I’ve got Bud or Coors Light; what’ll you have?” is simply being hospitable. The bar where some of the boys from work and I go for a beer on Fridays is a fairly blue-collar place and has nothing but mass-marketed commercial beers. To skip these times because nothing better is on offer means that I might ignore the convivality that occurs in these settings.
That being said, I’ll say that I always do my best to avoid Coors Light. It’s weak tasting, and what taste it does have, is metallic, I find. Is it beer or some kind of chemical?
Another I avoid, though I haven’t seen it in years so I’m assuming it has been discontinued, is Old Vienna (originally a Carling-O’Keefe beer that ws absorbed into Molson’s, if memory serves). Bitter, and not in a good way. No amount of chilling could kill that bitter flavour; the only thing that made it better was pouring it down the drain.
I keep trying to figure out what they call this particular taste some beers have - I even spent half a summer spending a lot of time at the Flying Saucer, comparing descriptions to beers, and can’t figure it out. Some beers have a specific aftertaste that’s just like the unpleasant part of how semen tastes. A friend and I call it “cockmouth”, ourselves, and I hate beer that’s got it. I can’t think of specific examples right off the top of my head, but I just can’t drink a beer like that if I taste it.
duffer, pilsners are lagers. “Lager” means “to store,” and is the name given to beers fermented with a yeast that works best at colder temperatures. All pilsners are lagers, but not all lagers are pilsners.
Spoons, if we aren’t discounting the Biggies, then I’ll add that I’ll never willingly drink anything by Anheuser-Busch. Even fresh from the vats in St. Louis, it still tastes like yak-piss.
Chefguy, I hear you. I’ve had fresh draft Heineken in Holland, and it is lightyears beyond what we get in the States.
I like almost any kind of beer, but there are a few I won’t touch.
Miller Genuine Draft tastes dreadful to me. The ads say it has more taste than blabla, but that’s like saying spoiled meat has more taste than whole wheat bread.
Coors Light is for folks who want to drink something beerlike, but they don’t like the taste of beer.
There’s only one Samuel Adams I won’t drink, and that’s Sam Light.
Stella.
I don’t like those beers that have a little fruit flavor in them. I like Lambics, especially the Framboise, but they hardly taste like beer at all. I’m talking about the beers that have a little fruit flavor in them, like someone spilled a little peach juice in them. I think Magic Hat makes one of these. They taste wrong to me.
Corona. It gives me no buzz, an instant headache, and makes my nasal passages fill with snot. It also tastes blah.
Would that be Stella Artois, or the stuff from Egypt that has chunks floating in it?
Can’t remember if I had Heineken when I lived in Brussels. I generally drank whatever was local and on tap, such as Jupiler, but will take your word for it. I had an American friend in Brussels who was so proud to offer me a Miller Lite from his stash that he brought with him from the US. I was dumbfounded. Beers from large American breweries are just crap for the most part. Anything with the word “lite” on the label is not even a starter for me; if I want to cut back on calories, I’ll leave the cheese off my burger. Sam Adams on tap is not bad. I much prefer to have something from a local micro anytime.
Perhaps I’m just not picky, but the only beers I really can’t stand are the college beers that rank below Coors, Michelob and Budweiser–you know, Natty Ice/Light, Milwaukee’s Best (the horrors!), etc. Anything else is fine, although I certainly have favorites. These days I’m drinking more whisky and less beer, though.
Bear in mind that this IS the Silver Bullet we’re talking about here. “But the metal shavings make my throat bleed!”
And I agree that Stella Artois is awful. Just like Beck’s, Heineken, or anything else that comes in a green bottle. From my experience, if you’ve got green glass, inherent skunkiness is assured (ironically, I’d expect clear glass to be even worse, but Newcastle happens to be one of my favorites).
But the worst beer I’ve ever had is probably Michelob Ultra. Lately I’ve been trying the “specialty” products by the big American brewers, but this stuff is paler than piss after last call, so fizzy it has the texture of sand, and burns a hole in my chest. Schaefer is better than this shit. It’s at least has the courtesy not to have a taste.
I gotta say, now I want to go order it just so the conversation can go like this.
Bartender: What’ll’ya have?
Asterion: STELLA!!!
I had a beer in East Berlin. I don’t remember what it was, but I hated it. I don’t think the bar helped any. And this was in the late 90s.
I just don’t see what people see in Guinness.
Just a note about Stella Artois: it’s really bottom of the barrel beer in Belgium. When I was there, it was cheaper than water, coca-cola, coffee, tea, anything. It’s pretty blah. I tried it once in the morning in a cafe when I didn’t have enough money for anything else.
I never met a Belgian in my extended family who drank it.
The one beer I can’t stand is English porter.
As far as beers that aren’t obviously nasty swill, I love Belgian old bruins, except one that goes too far: I think it’s called Vichtenaar and it tastes like balsamic vinegar.
In Belgium the only people that drink Stella are KUL college kids in Leuven (the college kids in Ghent and Brussels are above that-- it’s local in Leuven, though) and high schoolers. And the English on holiday.