Leon Panetta was always a politico dweeb, but I’m pretty sure Porter Goss actually was a superspy before getting into Congress.
In any case, we wouldn’t know if they had been 007’s, would we?
Seems that Lincoln would win… with a little help from batman
Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they’re burger.
Lincoln was a badass. He’d probably just pick up Booth and throw him from the balcony.
Lincoln. Skinny guys fight 'til they’re hamburger.
Now I kinda wanna have a time machine so I can go back and fuck with Booth’s pistol.
And exchange his dagger for a stage knife with a retracting blade.
…technically speaking, that’s a superplex.
Right. Lincoln was had height, reach, and weight on Booth and was famously strong. He was an experienced frontier wrestler. Booth was trained in fencing, but that wouldn’t do him much good of Lincoln got a hand on him.
I chose Booth, not because I’d want him to win(I don’t) but because he’s a younger man.
Yeah, the “reach” thing. I like the image of Lincoln holding Booth away from himself with one hand firmly on the top of his head while Booth’s fists windmill impotently.
I like that image a LOT.
One thing Lincoln could do is take an axe in one hand, gripping the end of the handle, and hold it out horizontally, with his arm fully extended. Try it sometime.
Booth loses.
I just did it. It wasn’t hard.
My money’s still on Lincoln, though.
Try it without the table.
Good one!!
Who wins?
The audience who are spared having to sit through the third act of Our American Cousin.
Sic Semper Tedium, am I right, folks?
Sounds like a stein hoisting contest.
Cheers, Abe!
Does a liter of some drink other than Samuel Adams Oktoberfest weigh a different amount?
Lincoln was older but extremely strong - he might well have been the most physically strong man to ever be President. Booth, while younger, was a small, slightly built man.
We tend to think of age as a key thing in comparing professional athletes and boxers and whatnot, but that’s where everyone’s an awesome athlete and so the advantage of age matters in fine slicing it. This isn’t a case like that. You’re pitting a very large, very strong man against a stage actor. Lincoln would have thrown Booth out of the balcony.
As to Lincoln’s wrestling expertise it’s worth noting there is little direct evidence of it, or much else, really. Many of the stories about him are clearly nonsense, such as the one where someone said he picked up a thousand pounds of rocks at once; no human could do that. But the thing is that there are a lot of anecdotes about Lincoln’s strength, both in his young and later on - the stories go on and on. Even if exaggerated, you don’t hear story after story like that about a weakling. There aren’t a hundred different stories about how Robert E. Lee could pick up a horse or Ulysses S. Grant spent his youth beating grizzly bears in fistfights or whatever. Clearly, Lincoln was a beast, and Booth wasn’t, and the size and strength advantage means Booth’s in a world of hurt.
The Mount Vernon website explains who went first:
Thomas Jefferson called him “the best horseman of the age.”