Absent Cable Installer

I don’t ask for much in life, really I don’t. As I’ve grown older I have become much more philisophical about all sorts of things. I try to see all sides of the picture. I realize that we’re all different, we’re all part of the spectrum. Each of us has our own burdens and pressures, and some times those pressures cause us to do things that cause pain to others. I understand that, I accept it as part of life.
That said, I have absolutely no forgiveness for the cable company whose installer never showed after I sat at home waiting for 6 hours (and didn’t even call). Nope, no sympathy. I don’t care if you were over-booked or if your truck broke down, or if there was a major outage somewhere else in town. Not my problem. You want my money, my patronage? Well get your ass over here and get it!
Why is it that I can call the electric company or the gas company and they can have someone out the next day, within a reasonable time? They’ve been doing it for years! But not you, Mr. Cable company, seems that is something you are not capable of.
Here is my prayer for every human being at the cable company who ever had any hand in putting customers through such nonsense, every installer, every phone representative, every manager, secretary, accountant, every corporate attorney, every clerk, and certainly every overpaid executive:
On your deathbed, when you are whispering to your god, begging for just a little more time, just one more day, I want you to think of me. Think of the 6 hours you stole from my life. And think of the hours you stole from every other innocent customer, think hard. Feel your heart grow slower and the warmth flee from your breath and hear these words booming into your conciousness, FUCK YOU!

The communication industry is a law unto itself. Mention “Cable” and “Engineer” in the same sentence and you get “a very very very long wait”. We ordered cable, fine. We paid for it, fine. The engineers didn’t come. Not fine. Phone. Phone. Engineers say “we called but you weren’t in”. (lie). Phone again. They finally do turn up, but discover that when they laid the ducting in our street they forgot to put an outlet to our house. Wait a week for workmen to dig up half a foot of road to lay half a foot of plastic pipe. Engineers turn up a week later. Install wires. Discover that they’ve forgotten the modem unit we ordered too.

Thier philosophy seems to be that if they keep you waiting for it you’ll appreciate it more once you actually get it. If you get it.

Hey Time/Warper, I got you cable hangin’ right here.

It was with great relish that I told those dingleberry savoring, groin sniffing, toenail toothpicking, nostril skidmarked bung chefs to come cut their damn umbilicle of woe because there was a shiny new dish on my roof that actually fucking worked.

What I have always found curious is the company’s ability to disconnect my service without my presence, and inability to reconnect said service without my presence. I have no doubt that if I asked to turn off my phone or cable, that it would go off, without me having to wait around for their engineer.

What’s funny is that on one hand cable companies do this deliberate BS of having you have to be home for them to flip a switch (which they charge money for), and then have the guy not show up, charge an arm and a leg because of their monopoly, and so on, but on the other hand keep running commercials complaining about people stealing cable. Here’s a hint for cable companies, or anyone with a monopoly (or syndicate like the music industry) that doesn’t sell physical product: If you go out of your way to piss people off, they won’t care when people are stealing your product.

I know several people who either mysteriously stopped getting cable bills or moved in and found that cable was activated, and said ‘good, free cable’ without a twinge of bad feeling about it - and I don’t have any problem with it (where I would if someone was copying software). If I got lucky and had cable without bills, you can bet I wouldn’t call the cable company to try and get it worked out (though I’ve done this for phone service before) - the phone and power companies didn’t tell me to sit at home for them to flip a switch, then not bother to send anyone over. Would I be wrong in that case? Technically yes, but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.