From mtv.com
I didn’t much care when Brian Head got “saved” because Korn sucked anyway, so his brainwashing is no big loss, but to lose a brilliant writer and performer like Maynard Keenan is just plain depressing. No more dark, sardonic songs like “Undertow” and “Aenima”–he will subjugate his talent to making saccharine, second-rate Jesus pop.
I’m really, really hoping this is a prolonged April Fool’s prank because otherwise I’m going to be depressed.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
…playing *Sober * right now.
To be fair, there is Christian metal that doesn’t suck, but yeah, this is bad news.
I enjoy Chevelle. Are they still a christian band?
Hmmm…perhaps Welch and Maynard will start collaborating. May the spirit of Stryper find new voices!
I didn’t know they were ever a Christian band.
Actually, it would be really cool if Maynard could get involved with Trouble somehow. His voice would fit really well in there.
Huh. I’m a Christian and even I am a little bummed by this news since I can’t imagine Maynard continuing to make the same kind of music. On the other hand, I can’t really be upset with somebody else’s choices if it makes them happy and brings them peace.
Were these postings made on the first of the month?
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking - they were posted last Friday. Anything particularly …strange about posting them THAT particular day?
My mistake - it was posted on Thursday. I stand by the rest of my post, though. I think it’s a joke and not atypical of Maynard’s sense of humor.
Yes, and so as I noted in my OP, I hope that this is merely a prolonged prank. But Kurt Loder got an e-mail from Maynard yesterday, 4 days after April Fool’s, confirming that had in fact “found God.” So, I don’t know, but if it’s so, it’s not good.
A. Happy people rarely make good art. This is especially so of musicians.
B. Happiness and peace derived from belief in unreality are naught but self-deception. I’d feel the same way if he had become a Scientologist or an Amway salesman.
C. I want another Tool album!
I am soooo sorry a dark & tormented artist may have found solace in Christ.
Maynard’s been wrestling with Jesus for a while. It was inevitable.
Anyway- think about it-
Christians have produced-
The Book of Revelation
Dies Irae
The Divine Comedy
The Sistine Chapel
Paradise Lost
Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God
and hey, don’t forget Flannery O’Connor, Walker Percy, U2 and Johnny Cash!
It’s not all happy happy joy joy! We Christians can still be dark and tormented and artistic!
Tori Amos, you’re next!
This statement makes no sense.
Well, OK, Maynard can be a Christian as long as you make sure he wears a hair shirt, scourges himself in the morning while saying the Rosary, and puts out a new Tool album, dang it!
I look forward to her cover of “You Light Up My Life.”
I’m 99% sure this is toolshed.down.net’s annual April Fool’s joke. Maynard lying to that tool Kurt Loder seems more likely than him telling the truth.
You forgot The Brothers Karamazoz and Crime and Pumishment.
And anything by Kierkegaard.
Still, though. I need to see some proof that dark tormented rock and roll can be produced by Christians (I know there’s been some produced about Christianity, but I don’t think Nick Cave is actually saved.)
I agree with A and C, and as for B, well… if he keeps this belief in his unreality until the day he dies, how is this self-deception hurting him any?
Besides, maybe he’ll join up with Opus Dei, take corporal mortification to its extreme, and then we’ll have the tormented Christian instead of the tormented atheist.
This better be an April Fool’s joke. This totally crapped on my so far excellent day.
Well, I recall SOMEONE on this board saying something about how Christianity was always a force for evil in the world. Maybe this is what he had in mind… 
Christian Metal… Christian Metal…
Eh, it could work, but you’d need someone whose name means metal to sing it. I dunno…