I read about this on toolband.com the day it was posted… but I’m pretty sure it’s just Maynard’s way of joking around with his fans.
My guess is that we won’t hear much from Tool or Maynard for another month or so, and then suddenly we’ll hear that the album is finished and is due for imminent release.
Even if it is true Maynard has found Jesus and is leaving Tool, at least we have all of his previous work to enjoy.
I’m now convinced that this has to be an elongated April Fool’s joke. Maynard’s sitting back right now, having a good laugh at how distraught his millions of sheep are.
In a bit, he’ll reveal it’s all a hoax and the new single will be out in a couple of weeks.
Right?
I am so buying that.
:eek:
Yeah, except not really.
I’m also hoping it’s a publicity stunt. That would be really funny. If it’s true, I would be shocked. It’d be a complete 180° from this big speech he made right before sliding into the title track from Opiate when I saw them in concert. I wish I could remember what he said, but it was about organized religion (with a tiny nod to the events of 9/11) and the general public’s interpretation of the bible, and thinking for yourself and not getting caught up in this bullshit, and being true to yourself and blahblahblah. It was scathing and wonderful, and I knew before he was finished that he’d be doing Opiate next because it was so perfect.
And now he’s going to drop Tool for that? Huh?
So yeah, count me as shocked.
Thanks! Now I have blood flowing out of my ass and ears simultaniously!
Actually, I was talking to Maynard the other day and he told me…
…to not talk about what we discussed! 
Granted, he’s not turning out any dark rock classics anymore, but Vincent Furnier’s conversion hasn’t caused him to kill Alice Cooper (any more than he already does in many concerts).
PEOPLE! Traditionalist Passion-focused Catholicism, Calvinist Double-Predestination, Fundist Apocalyptism, Orthodox Mysticism, Kierkegaardian Existentialism- WE CHRISTIANS GOT PLENTY OF DARKNESS TO FUEL GOOD ART!
Btw, other examples of Christian-themed Dark Art in Cinema-
A Clockwork Orange
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (the actual novel & the Coppola movie)
Blade Runner (Roy Batty’s nail & dove motif, how obvious is that?!)
Sling Blade & its companion The Apostle
Kevin Smith’s Dogma
Michael Tolkin’s The Rapture
Night of the Hunter
oh, and in books-
the best of Stephen King- CARRIE, THE STAND, DESPERATION
(hell, he had to take a detour into it on KINGDOM HOSPITAL-
OK, not the best example)
Btw, lemme drop another one on ya-
Anne Rice is now promoting the NDE “rescue from Hell by Jesus” account of Howard Storm, AND working on her novel “Christ the Lord”. Of course, her Vampire novels MEMNOCH and ARMAND were strongly Christ-laden anyway.
OK, he got us good.
But when Maynard awakens before the Big Faceless Judge & watches “This Way Your Life”…
“Maynard, on April 1, 2005, you announced you had come to faith in My Son- all for an April Fools Joke.”
HAW HAW!
(For those who missed it, the extended quote above was from Black Sabbath, After Forever.)
Good, he got me. Awesome! (big sigh of relief)
I’m really surprised how many of you fell for that. Suckers. Heh heh. I thought it was pretty obviously a dig against Head from Korn. “Wait! I’ve found Jesus TOO!!”
I’m am curious as to whether a “saved” Maynard would act a little less angry. . . or do radio interviews. . . or perhaps actually face the audience during a show. Hmmmmmm.
The members are very religous themselves. The lead singer dumped one of my friends because she was ‘too much of a temptation’. She’s still friends with him though.
Told ya so!!! Told ya so!!! 
You forgot the last line…
Tol’ja, tol’ja, tol’ja so!
Thanks to Debra Messing.
Good gag.
Not a huge fan of Tool… their music, in my opinion, is not the Be All End All that so many folks seem to feel it is, but that was FUNNY!
Yeah, that was good. I still think Maynard should hook up with Trouble or some other old-school doom metal band.