You would think! I have that same “problem,” (hetero version), and it’s caused trouble for me in a number of past relationships (one otherwise fantastic one ended precisely because it was such an issue for my then-GF).
Well past thirty years old, and I’ve never climaxed from missionary sex, ever. I could go for hours if I needed to, not that anyone would want that. Cowgirl/girl on top has worked a few times for me, but pretty much the only dependable has been oral/HJ.
It’s strange, really-- how many millions of men have to suffer from the stigma of premature ejaculation, yet you never hear about the opposite problem. It’s literally unheard of-- so much so that most men and women on paper would look at it and laugh it off, “Oh, I wish I had that problem” or “Women must love you.” Nah, instead the chicks spend all their time thinking they don’t turn you on, or get frustrated trying to figure out what works.
After all, women are supposed to be hard to please, not guys, right? In our 2009, Cosmo Mag world, nobody thinks twice of spending plenty of time/using lots of techniques to get women off. But guys? Guys are easy.
Thankfully, the current GF understands/accepts/enjoys this, but it still made for awkward moments at first, and before I came (ahem) to accept it myself, it placed a lot of performance pressure on me back in the day.
I’ve experienced a couple of guys who had a difficult time reaching climax because of medications… antidepressants and some blood pressure meds can cause problems with orgasms. It can be frustrating and I did, at times, think I was “doing it wrong”. Now I know better and if it were a problem today I’d just try different methods of arousal. I’m nice like that!
HFM-- well then, thank you for fighting the good fight! :-).
(The anti-depressants are nasty in that regard. . . thankfully, I’ve never had to be on one, but I can’t imagine a faster way to stay depressed than to lose the ability to orgasm).
I used to have trouble climaxing, and the solution was to masturbate less, and do it quickly when I did masturbate. I used to drag masturbation out over 30 min or more.
After learning to masturbate quickly and not that often, I can mostly last as long or little as I want.
Actually that might be where I’m going wrong too, I masturbate for a good 20-30 minutes a time and frequently hold off cumming when I feel I’m close if I’m not seeing something I really like in the porn I’m watching. Possibly I’ve developed so much “control” over my orgasm that actually all I’ve done is make it harder to reach.
But then, as I said, I don’t get that many opportunities to top so it’s not getting in the way that much.
I have to take an antidepressant, plus blood pressure meds, plus I’m 63 . . . It’s a miracle my dick works at all, but it does. I have, on occasion, gone off the antidepressant for a day or two. It makes me unbelievably horny, with amazing multiple orgasms (but strangely, not depressed). But the antidepressant also enables me to sleep, and without it I’m a strung-out crazed insomniac. Believe me, you don’t want to be anywhere near a 63-year-old crazed fucking machine.
I never mentioned this to my late wife, but when we made love I would climax only about half of the time. The reason for this was because it was entirely voluntary on my part. A “typical” session we’d have twenty to thirty minutes of foreplay including oral favors. She would often have a climax or two during this which, given her capacity, was not begrudged one bit by me. Then we’d get down to business. If we rutted away with great abandon, and we sometimes did, I’d climax in about three minutes. Most often, though, I’d slow down before the peak and let things subside a bit before picking up the pace again.
It would be a slower climb up the mountain then, and I could easily last ten minutes or more of quite vigorous action, which she loved. Problem was that the climb was slow enough I’d sometimes get exhausted before I could get to the peak again. I’d give a quick flourish, then lie panting and cuddling for a while. Sometimes, especially if it was a weekend day session, we’d have another go at it. The pump having been primed, I found it easier to climax. Late weeknights, most likely we’d just drift off to sleep, still cuddling.
The reason I didn’t mind was that, in addition to making her happy, despite the 50% rate we were such a randy couple, I was getting three or four orgasms a week, a higher rate than with any previous lover or girlfriend.
I’m the other way, missionary takes me a while, girl on top as well (unless she gets just the right angle), but doggy-style I might last only 3 minutes.
Anywhere between 3 minutes and about 90 minutes…I usually ask my wife “how many orgasms do you want?”, and plan accordingly. Other times I can get her to “Ride the Edge” for as long as 10 minutes…usually after a powerful orgasm followed by a long period of “wavy orgasms”.
