From down the pier a longshoreman came running up, “Hey buddy, is that your iguana? Reptiles are not allowed to smoke here!”
“Uh, he’s not really smoking it,” Karl replied quickly. “It’s for effect.”
Hearing this, Max took a long drag of his tiny pipe, and blew it out in a tiny smoke ring towards Karl, spitefully.
A woman approached; Karl recognized her the last time he saw her, had she tired to sit in his lap while he was standing up.
“So, another dead blonde face down in the water, and another ‘chance’ encounter with Karl von Rittner,” said the woman as she strode angrily towards him.
“Detective McNuttly, I thought I smelled you coming this way,” Karl answered smart assely. “Or was that a garbage scow floating by?”
“I will ask the questions”, McNuttly rejoined sharply, as she opened her purse and removed a pistol.
Max the Iguana quietly emptied the ashes out of his tiny pipe.
A loud knock on the door woke Karl up.
It was as loud as most loud knocks get.
“I sure hope it’s not a sentient Iguana”, muttered Karl.
As Karl stumbled towards the door, he heard an iguana-like gurgling eminating from the other side of it.
Karl groggily opened the door, only to see his beloved iguana Max laying on the doorstep; after pausing to take in the sight, Karl finally noticed the crimson pool spreading around Max.
“Get out of there Max!”, he admonished angrily, picking up the reptile from the fresh paint, before noticing the haphazardly scrawled message upon the floor.
Your message here, ten cents.
“Damn internet advertising.” Karl thought as he sleepily threw max into his cage and shuffled back to bed.
Max waited for Karl to go to sleep…
…But sleep never came to Karl that night as he lie awake tossing and turning until the morning rays assaulted his heavy eyelids.
“Shit.” muttered Max at 4:00 AM, his plans for world domination thwarted.
Karl crawled out of bed, yawned and scratched himself, and then clicked on the TV with the remote.