Well, we caved in and gave the AdoptaTeens permission to have a party in a couple of weeks to celebrate their official teen status (they’re turning 13 & 14 years old).
Middle school - eighth graders - about 40 of them. Most of their friends are great kids - honor roll, band members, beta club, etc. so we don’t expect TOO many surprises, but frankly it’s been 10 years since we’ve done one of these.
Our plan is to warn the elderly neighbors (and pay for a hotel room for them for the night if they so choose in order to avoid the music), supply plenty of cold drinks and snacks, have a small bonfire for marshmellow roasting and generally stay out of the way except for periodic parental walk throughs. We’ll open the kitchen, living room, sunroom and back yard, with bedrooms being completely off limits.
Specifically, what do we need to keep our eyes and ears open for? Are two adults (DH & myself) enough adults to supervise a gathering this size or should we enlist help from friends? Any other suggestions or things we should be aware of?
Some older teens, if available, could be chaperones without being as much of a “damper” as adults might be. A good friend of mine let her 14 year old daughter have a Halloween party last night, and said that all went well except for two kids who were sucking face and groping each other all night - kept trying to sneak out into an empty room, etc. The girl even got up and followed the boy to the bathroom - my friend said she doesn’t know if the girl would have gone in there with him or not, but she had noticed when the girl left the room a few minutes after the boy and followed her. Her 18 year old daughter helped chaperone and except for the gropers and a boy who decided to make a very unwelcome pass at her 14 year old (with the girls boyfriend in the next room, no less) a good time was had by all.
:::gulp::: Elementary school kids? I am SO out of the loop.
We’re not big drinkers at all. I think we have a bottle of beer and a wine cooler in the fridge right now. Should I be worried about them bringing their own supply? And if so, how on earth do we prevent that? We do have some nifty meds that I’d already thought about moving to a secure place, just to remove temptation. Anything else?
Go ahead and hide all possible intoxicants. I remember being that age, we’d drink anything. Some would take anything as well. They start younger and younger.
Basically just watch for kids that look like they are trying to be sneaky. And if you think anyone would try to bring liquor, see if anyone brings water bottles - ya can’t tell if it’s water or rum just by looking.
But I wouldn’t worry. Just give 'em a ton of food and Mountain Dew and they should be happy.
YES on periodic parental walkthroughs.
Check water bottles.
Talk with them about the rules. My own mom so far hasn’t set any rules beyond the obvious (no sex, no alcohol, no drugs, don’t break anything), but I know that at my sweet sixteen I’m not allowing anyone to drink, smoke or otherwise intoxicate themselves. I find it disrespectful and rude for people to do so in a house that is mostly straightedge, and if anyone tries it I’m kicking them out. No groping in front of my parents or siblings, either. If you must, go somewhere else.
Don’t be the overbearing parents, but it is occasionally appreciated if the teen doesn’t want something happening to go in and be the big bad mom/dad that doesn’t want people messing with the tool room/throwing water and pennies around.
And FOOD! FOOD FOOD FOOD! Buy lots of food. Enough that you think you’ll have it forever. Then buy more. MY FRIENDS AND I EAT LIKE HOOVER VACUUMS. There’s a large chance that your kids will, too.
Yeah. Think one bag of ships per kid per hour. And I’d sugest getting two liter bottles of soda (with a bunch of plastic cups) instead of individual cans, as some kids have a tendency to not finish those and that makes a bit of a mess.
Oh, yeah and do watch out for kids with drinks, and hide your drinks/meds (or use them before the party ). Also look out for kids who seem drunk . I’d guess at that age they’ll probably just be lethargic and slow seeming, as acting crazy is quite normal for an 8th grader (or least it was normal for my friends and I).
Although it would probably be amusing if you got them all a bag of ships. Especially if they were warships. Maybe you ought to try that and see how it works out.
One concern with a party that big is crashers. Once things get going, have your kids check around to make sure that only people who are supposed to be there are hanging around, especially if some of the party will be outdoors.
). Also look out for kids who seem drunk . I’d guess at that age they’ll probably just be lethargic and slow seeming, as acting crazy is quite normal for an 8th grader (or least it was normal for my friends and I).