Adopting a family for the holidays....how best to go about it?

Our local AIDS charity has an “Adopt a Family” program for the holidays. This is the first time I’ve done anything like this and I want to make sure I do a good job of it, but at the same time I don’t want to break the bank.

The wish list is this:

39 Y.O. female–CD player, DVD player, size 2x shirts, sz 20 pants

6 Y.O. male–Ben 10 toys, Spiderman web, size 10-12 shirts, size 10 pants, size 10-12 coat

19 Y.O. male–size 2x shirts, size 36/34 pants, hat, gloves

Obviously some of these items will be easier to buy than others. I feel like it is important the kids get everything on their lists, and maybe even a little more for the 19 Y.O. However, I am concerned about buying them things they’d really like, and I don’t really know what would be considered “cool” clothes for teenagers. As for the mom, I don’t know how plausible it will be for me to buy both a CD and DVD player.

And, I am also wondering, in cases like these, if gently used items would be acceptable. I don’t want to offend anyone. I also wonder about giving things not on the list, like a grocery giftcard or something like that. Or should I stick to the list?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I often drop things off for several adopt a family programs - but they are groups of people buying for a family. i.e. work sponsors two families in our department - and between the hundred people that work there, they pretty much get what they want without breaking the bank. The kids school posts a list as well. They really aren’t intended to be done by one person (as far as I can tell) because the list is often $1000 worth of stuff. Could you get your coworkers or friends to help sponsor.

You don’t need to get the whole list (a DVD player would function as a CD player). When we do it at work a lot of people give cash and then someone goes shopping for the stuff not yet bought on the list. Extra cash goes into a Target giftcard.

IMHO, giving them used stuff is in poor taste. Extremely poor folks always get used stuff - it’s all they can afford, generally. And as for the clothes and other items, why not a gift card to an all-purpose store like Target so that the family can pick what they actually like? It would mitigate the paternalism inherent in such types of charity.

I sponsor families each year and this process is very dear to my heart and the biggest joy of the season for my employees, my kids and I.

I get a similar list. It is a suggestion. You do not have to get everything on the list. As a matter of fact, I have seen some VERY unreasonable requests by the kids. What I usually do is make sure each child has a complete set of clothes including shoes and underwear and a couple of age appropriate toys. Parents get a few things that are practical. With this list, I would probably buy everything she asked for because it seems reasonable and I have the means to do it. However, if you do not, I would recommend either making it a family thing with your extended family or a work thing to add people to this expense. I do one personally and one large family with the employees. They ALWAYS get much more than they asked for and their letters of thanks always make our January.

I ALWAYS give a grocery card for 100 dollars with the gift addressed to the parent. I also give a target card for 100 so she can pick up some odds and ends for the holiday.

Used things are not appropriate.
I sponsor through Catholic Charities and I know these families are very needy and anything is appreciated. Enjoy yourself and do what you can. That is the point.

I thought that was probably the case with the used stuff, but you never know. The people at this particular charity are extremely hard up for anything and everything. Some of them don’t even have food on a regular basis, but I’m guessing that isn’t the case here considering the clothing sizes.

The only reason I wouldn’t buy a gift card and have that be it is that I would have no idea whether that mother would actually buy for her kids. It’s terrible to be so pessimistic about human nature, but I’ve seen a lot of selfishness in this world and I don’t trust a total stranger to do the right thing.

I’m going to see if some friends can help out and get everything on the list. I think we’ll be able to get everything on it. The requests aren’t terribly expensive, although I don’t know about the DVD player. I might just give the mother a giftcard while actually buying things for the kids to unwrap.

[QUOTE=Indygrrl]
I thought that was probably the case with the used stuff, but you never know. The people at this particular charity are extremely hard up for anything and everything. Some of them don’t even have food on a regular basis, but I’m guessing that isn’t the case here considering the clothing sizes.
QUOTE]

I find that most of the teens and mother’s of the families I sponsor are overweight. I am not going to get into the sociological reasons for this but I tend to think it is because they don’t particularly have healthy diet habits due to their limited means. I found an interesting study.

I understand that, but this organization works with a lot of homeless and starving people. All I was saying is that I don’t think starvation is the main issue with this particular family.

But again, I want to make sure they have a nice holiday and I will do everything I can to get them everything on their lists.