I think adoption records should be open to adoptees when they become of legal age.
Do you want to know why records are currently sealed?
Many adoptive parents don’t want birthmothers popping up to confuse their relationship with their child. The adoption industry is “the retailer” and they are going to do what they can to satisfy their customer (the adoptive parents). The merchandise (adoptees) have no say - either as infants OR AS ADULTS , they are always children in the eyes of adoption law. The manufacturers(birthmothers) might want to meet their creations, explain their reasons for placing them for adoption (often manufacturers were not given support by their inventors (birthfathers), they were victims of rape, pregnant as a teen, or other solutions were not presented to them - their only choice was to place the children for adoption) but in most states the laws deny them this right after a certain period of time to get to explain their circumstances, offer heritage and medical history.
Don’t be fooled by those who say birthmothers don’t want their privacy invaded and adoptees don’t want to know the truth of their origins. While some may fit that mold, most do not. The rights of the many should outweigh the preferences of the few.
There are many concerns a couple will have about adoption and it takes a special sort of person to adopt someone elses kids and raise them as their own.
You add to the concerns and there will be less adoptions.
A related issue that I have the minority opinion on is whether adoption should be permanent or not. The vast majority of people say, and the law agrees, that once you adopt it is your child and you cannot get out of it. On the surface this sounds right and fair. There has been some attempt to give a time period, like a year in which you can return the child to the orphanage or the state. It is thought of as evil or cruel. However, how many people would adopt but won’t because they are scared of adopting a child that turns out to be a horror or a financial hell (sick in some serious way unknown or hidden before adoption)?
Possibly me.
Back to the OP directly. Adoptive parents possibly want the child to be THEIR child and their child forever. They do not want to raise a child only to have the kid go off to their ‘real’ parent either as a child or as an adult.
The choice to adopt is difficult enough and few do it…be careful about making adoption more unattractive because less of it will be done.
IMO, once an adopted person is 18, they should be allowed to view their records. If the adoptive parents were good, then they should have nothing to fear.
Any evidence of that? I mean, actual stats that show that most birth mothers want to be contacted?
Why not make it optional? At 18, if both birth mom and child want to meet, they could register at some central place. Then if both want it, it would happen. And if one doesn’t want it, it wouldn’t happen.
I don’t think they should be made suddenly open. A birth mother who put her child for adoption 10 years ago was probably told the records would be sealed. Her decision to put the child for adoption was probably made with that assumption in mind.
To suddenly change the rules is unfair.
I can imagine changing the rules for future adoptions. That way at least everyone goes into the process with full knowledge of what may happen 18 years down the road.
Originally posted by andymurph64
There are many concerns a couple will have about adoption and it takes a special sort of person to adopt someone elses kids and raise them as their own.
--------I will agree with this statement
A related issue that I have the minority opinion on is whether adoption should be permanent or not. The vast majority of people say, and the law agrees, that once you adopt it is your child and you cannot get out of it. On the surface this sounds right and fair. There has been some attempt to give a time period, like a year in which you can return the child to the orphanage or the state. It is thought of as evil or cruel. However, how many people would adopt but won’t because they are scared of adopting a child that turns out to be a horror or a financial hell (sick in some serious way unknown or hidden before adoption)?
--------I would have to get back to you on this. My first thought is “this is cruel”. Let me think on it this afternoon.
Back to the OP directly. Adoptive parents possibly want the child to be THEIR child and their child forever. They do not want to raise a child only to have the kid go off to their ‘real’ parent either as a child or as an adult.
------To think that the child would eventually return to the birthparents is a lot of hooey. And I am not advocating that the records be open to a “child” I am saying to an “adult”
Do you really think your suggestion that a 40 yr old who finds his birthparents is going to abandon his adoptive parents? NOT!
It is very sad that something so potentially good has become nothing more than another market driven enterprise.
Some kids DON’T want to know anything about their birth parents. I have friends who have no desire whatsoever to even know about them, let alone meet them.
There are MANY, MANY birth parents who don’t want to know about the kids they gave up. There are a million reasons why they’d want their identity to be kept secret.
Your generalizations are unfounded. If a child wants to know medical information, I think that should be offered. But both parents and children should be protected if they want to maintain separate from each other.
Originally posted by andymurph64
There are many concerns a couple will have about adoption and it takes a special sort of person to adopt someone elses kids and raise them as their own.
--------I will agree with this statement
A related issue that I have the minority opinion on is whether adoption should be permanent or not. The vast majority of people say, and the law agrees, that once you adopt it is your child and you cannot get out of it. On the surface this sounds right and fair. There has been some attempt to give a time period, like a year in which you can return the child to the orphanage or the state. It is thought of as evil or cruel. However, how many people would adopt but won’t because they are scared of adopting a child that turns out to be a horror or a financial hell (sick in some serious way unknown or hidden before adoption)?
--------I have to think on this comment rationally. My first thought would be a flame.
Back to the OP directly. Adoptive parents possibly want the child to be THEIR child and their child forever. They do not want to raise a child only to have the kid go off to their ‘real’ parent either as a child or as an adult.
------To think that the child would eventually return to the birthparents is a lot of hooey. And I am not advocating that the records be open to a “child” I am saying to an “adult”
Do you really think your suggestion that a 40 yr old who finds his birthparents is going to abandon his adoptive parents? NOT!
It is very sad that something so potentially good has become nothing more than another market driven enterprise.
Some kids DON’T want to know anything about their birth parents. I have friends who have no desire whatsoever to even know about them, let alone meet them.
There are MANY, MANY birth parents who don’t want to know about the kids they gave up. There are a million reasons why they’d want their identity to be kept secret.
Your generalizations are unfounded. If a child wants to know medical information, I think that should be offered. But both parents and children should be protected if they want to maintain separate from each other.
Originally posted by andymurph64
There are many concerns a couple will have about adoption and it takes a special sort of person to adopt someone elses kids and raise them as their own.
--------I will agree with this statement
A related issue that I have the minority opinion on is whether adoption should be permanent or not. The vast majority of people say, and the law agrees, that once you adopt it is your child and you cannot get out of it. On the surface this sounds right and fair. There has been some attempt to give a time period, like a year in which you can return the child to the orphanage or the state. It is thought of as evil or cruel. However, how many people would adopt but won’t because they are scared of adopting a child that turns out to be a horror or a financial hell (sick in some serious way unknown or hidden before adoption)?
--------I have to think on this comment rationally. My first thought would be a flame.
Back to the OP directly. Adoptive parents possibly want the child to be THEIR child and their child forever. They do not want to raise a child only to have the kid go off to their ‘real’ parent either as a child or as an adult.
------To think that the child would eventually return to the birthparents is a lot of hooey. And I am not advocating that the records be open to a “child” I am saying to an “adult”
Do you really think your suggestion that a 40 yr old who finds his birthparents is going to abandon his adoptive parents? NOT!
It is very sad that something so potentially good has become nothing more than another market driven enterprise.
Any evidence of that? I mean, actual stats that show that most birth mothers want to be contacted?
The stats vary from site to site. I am not comfortable with the numbers because each side has their own agenda.
I can say that I am a birthmother. I belong to a support group of roughly 500 women. Every single one of these mothers has searched or is currently searching for their child.
I have only one friend that has no interest in the child she placed for adoptiion. She had an affair and the child was the end product.
72% of adolescent American adoptees
want to know why they were adopted;
65% want to meet their parents; and
94% want to know which parent they look like.
-National Adoption Information Clearinghouse
& Reader’s Digest, http://www.rd.com, 07/03
Why not make it optional? At 18, if both birth mom and child want to meet, they could register at some central place. Then if both want it, it would happen. And if one doesn’t want it, it wouldn’t happen.
--------Good thought. But how do you propose this?
WHich site do you register at? Who knows if that site would be available in 18 years? You are also faced with (some) adoptive parents that do not want their adopted children to look for their birthparents. So that would be another obstacle.
The Constitution provides for all citizens to have the right to life. It also demands that all persons have their rights to property. By denying Adoptee’s their Original Birth certificates the State Government is denying adoptee’s their rights to property. They are being denied access to, or possession of, the Original Birth Certificates which every other citizen in this country is entitled to. They are therefore suffering discrimination as a class of citizen and their Civil Rights are being denied them.
Legal adoption in America only came into being starting in the second half of the 19th century, and at first all adoption records were open to the public. When they began to be closed, it was only to the general public, and the intent was to protect adoptees from public scrutiny of the circumstances of their birth.
Later, as states began to close records to the parties themselves, they did so not to provide lifelong anonymity for birth mothers, but the other way around – to protect adoptive families from possible interference or harassment by birth parents.
The historical record suggests that birth mothers were in fact seeking a measure of confidentiality. What the mothers wanted, however, was not to prevent the adoptive parents and the children they had surrendered from discovering their identities, but to prevent their families and communities from learning of their situations.
A powerful reason for the earliest closings of birth records to adult adoptees may simply have been that it was consistent with an emerging social idea about adoption: that it was a perfect and complete substitute for creating a family by childbirth, so the adopted child had no other family and would never be interested in learning about any other family.
Personally I would think twice about giving a child up for adoption if I knew that in 18 years s/he could open up the records and look me up. I think part of the appeal to most women considering adoption is that it is completely confidential.
I agree that it would probably prevent a lot of couples from adopting. They’re doing it because they want a family of their own. It’s a threatening thought that in 18 years the birth parents could come back into the child’s life. It could even damage the child, regardless of if they are 8 or 18.
If the birth parents want to put their medical history on the adoption records, fine. I don’t think they should be forced to do so and I don’t think the adopted child has a right to know their birth parents medical history.
What medical records from what family members? I am not adopted but I have no right to go through my parents’, grandparents’, aunts’, uncles’, cousins’ medical records.
My medical records are my business and should only be available if I choose to make them so.
My friend Randye died of cancer in her early 40s. When it was too late, she finally (after years of trying) got her birth parents’ medical records. Turns out that form of cancer was virulent in her family. Had she known earlier, she would have been able to get preventative checkups and would be alive today.
Let’s say I am 17 and place my child up for adoption. I give the short medical history. Then, at age 24 I develop osteo sarcoma. Should I have to go back to the adoption agency and inform them?
That is very sad Eve. However, until it is the law that everyone provide thier medical records to their families I don’t see how we can require it of birth parent’s families.