You can’t be serious here.
My culture isn’t the one that takes babies from their mothers, gives them to strangers, changes their names, and denies their heritage.
This is so breathtakingly insulting, and so impossible for someone to seriously believe, that I have no choice but to assume that you are not entering into this “debate” in good faith, and that you are not interesting in truly discussing the so-called issue that prompted you to post.
Why is it that you think I don’t have extended family? I have aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., who are connected to me, who love and help me. If my mother & father weren’t there, there’s no doubt in my mind that there would be family who would have made a place for me in their home, as they would my brothers and sister, despite the fact that two of us are blood related to them and two of us aren’t.
So, explain again why the genetic ties are so important?
Speaking of adult desires, funny how this statement seems to run counter to your sentiment in this Roman Polanski thread from a few months ago where you condone the rape of a 13 year old girl.
Quoting ZPG Zealot:
So fulfilling a sicko adult desire by raping a kid is OK, but allowing an adopted kid to call you Mom or Dad “really bothers” you because it fulfills the desire to be a parent for those who cannot do so biologically?
Also, why are so many biological parents absent in your family?
It is clear that for you adoption involves different emotions, customs, and definitions of familial relationships. Why aren’t you ok with that difference? It seems like what you’re doing here is trying to reconcile your experience by denigrating other people’s.
Google Georgia Tann or Lila and Willam Young of the Ideal Maternity Home. There are plenty of modern day versions of them operating now.
Why are the parents in your family so quick to abandon their kids?
I’ll pass because you haven’t said a word about criminals or other outliers; you’re deliberately smearing everyone who decides to adopt.
Perhaps, really, it’s just the thinly disguised arrogance of pure blood, entitled to know, and have labeled, orphans, illegitimacy, and other wretched states, making one unclean, and worthy of some mild form of what constitutes contempt, no matter how you dress it up. So entitled to judging other’s lineages, long blind to the vileness of it.
Snap out of it! This is the 21st century and you’re living among civilized people now, sheesh.
Neither is mine.
My two children were abandoned by their birth mother.:smack:
Once again from the top, why MUST the adopted kid call you Mom or Dad? I’ve known plenty that didn’t want to. Why is it so insulting to admitt you didn’t give birth to a child?
And what gave you the impression there were many biological parents absent in my family? I didn’t spend much time with my mother because our personalities weren’t a good match. She was very social. I would rather read. I was always better with my first aunt, so I spent most of my child/adult time with her. I became the legal guardian for my youngest brother because my father’s health wasn’t good and social services was trying to take him for adoption. I have medical rights for one of my nephews because his parents have jobs where they can’t easily drop everything when he takes a spill on a skateboard. At various times other young relatives have lived with me in a guardianship arrangement because their parents’ jobs involved traveling and they didn’t want to change schools or they like the school district where I live more.
How did you ever get that impression? Children are very much loved and cared for and they are allowed to use the proper titles for their relatives.
See, we’re not so different…this is true of my family, as well!
I would consider taking a child away from their family, forcing them to call unrelated people Mom and Dad against their will, and denying their heritage, to be a daily mental rape.
And I suppose their biological mother just sprang forth from a divine egg with no parents or brothers and sisters of her own and was then able to miraculously self-fertilize herself (Hey, she must have had ovaries and testies what an amazing mutation)?
Where do you get this nonsense about children being “forced” to say mom and dad?
Their bio mother herself was from the foster system. She relinquished her parental rights.
One bio dad - incarcerated. Relinquished his parental rights.
Other (presumed) bio dad, a 100% no-show. No one knows if he is dead or alive or even if he is the actual sperm donor.
Any other questions, forth nail?
ZPG, what IS your culture? You say you were born in the US and spent fifteen years in (then) Yugoslavia. Is your family Slavic, Rom or something else? This is such an alien way of looking at things, to me. Adopters are child-stealers? Seriously?
The really nifty thing here is that you have UTTERLY FAILED to demonstrate that this bizarre characterization applies to the class of “adoptive parents” in any reasonable way. Your failure to do this is probably based in the fact that it’s batshit insane, and utterly false in every conceivable way.
Your argument seems to be based mostly in hallucination, based on a few outlier cases that are completely unrepresentative of the class of adoptive relationships as a whole. It’s approimately as reasonable, rational, and accurate as arguing that all humans are named Willie Nelson, and “proving” this point by pointing at one or two guys who are in fact humans named Willie Nelson and extrapolating from them to the entire human race in grand fallacous fashion.
Let’s put this really, really simply. You have no idea how adoption works in the real world. Your assumptions about it are flat wrong, and so wrong that it makes you appear completely unhinged. You are probably not completely unhinged, but your opinions on this matter make you appear this way. You should probably educate yourself as to how things work in reality in order to be able to present yourself better.
There simply is no way, NO WAY, that you can convinced me that a fully hinged person truly believes that adoptions occur by adoptive parents stealing children away from families, forcing those stolen children to suffer the “mental rape” of calling the parents “Mom” and “Dad,” and denying the stolen child access to the child’s “genetic heritage” (whatever the hell that is).
No sane person believes that. Even if a person thinks that out-of-family adoption is not a good thing and that all children should be kept with biological relatives no matter the situation, the above belief is simply not rational.