if you’ve never heard that awful mattress giant comercial
OOOOOHHH AAAHHHH feeling
ooooohhh aaahhhh feeling
get down on your knees right now and thank God for sparing you!
and as far as diamonds are concerned, the only one i own, is on the needle of my record player.
i can’t justify paying thousands of dollars for something that doesn’t do anything!
i mean, if it costs that much money, i want to be able to drive it!
I’m pink therefore I’m Spam
I just saw some car commercial the other night (Honda?) where some dorky middle-management type in, of all things, a sweater vest and bow tie, wearing one of those headset microphones, is on a stage leading the audience in some sort of “visualization exercise,” while footage of the car appears on three screens behind him. All I could think was, “Who the fuck is their target demo, and why would this possibly make them want the car?”
“It’s my considered opinion you’re all a bunch of sissies!”–Paul’s Grandfather
One I really loathed was a commercial for Carl’s Junior (a fast-food chain)that had two guys eating big, fat greaseball burgers with stuff dripping out of them and dropping on the ground.
The catchy slogan: If it doesn’t get all over the place, it doesn’t belong in your face.
Bleck.
I agree that prescription drug commercials are the most irritating thing on television. When did this trend start, anyway? I can’t watch anything without seeing a spot for some new bill called something like Zanzibol or Plydene or Nasalsnort which is going to solve all the problems for people who suffer from allergies, chronic fatigue, or (my personal favorite) social anxiety. What the hell is social anxiety? These people are just dorks without friends! And the side effects are just hysterical, if you ask me.
Voice over: Side effects occur in about 50% of all users, and may include dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, headache, drowsiness, insomnia, restlessness, itchy teeth, liver damage, and decapitation.
“Great, I’m not sneezing anymore, but I’m blind in my left eye!”
I bet that vomiting and dizzyness is really going to make you a big hit at your first social gathering (now that you’ve taken the I Don’t Have to Hide Under the Bed Anymore Pill).
Only somewhat related note, for my fellow Chicagoans:
What is up with that Menards lady? Does she really need to have those huge safety glasses on to stand there and open a kitchen cabinet?
AMEN ResDog!
She was ok at the beginning, and a lot easier to take than the other guy, but lately, her annoyance factor has skyrocketed.
Another idiotic ad - Target and that whole “sign of the times” nonsense. Blech!
Anything with “10-10-321” or 10-10-*!
AAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!
Or as my partner and I like to say, “Old Navy - the Love Boat of the nineties.” (Same could be said for the 10-10-XXX commercials.)
And for those of you lucky enough to not be subjected to Mattress Giant’s orgasmic jingle, you should at least check out their cartoon Mattress Giant character, a shaved-head, muscle-T-wearin’, cutoffs-sportin’ Mr. Clean Wannabe gay icon if I ever saw one.
www.mattressgiant.com
I hate Old Navy. If I wanted to see those annoying twins, I’d watch their stupid show “Sister Sister” on the WB. They are the worst commercials ever.
In other threads like this I’ve never mentioned the Tom Shane, The Shane Company radio commericals because I thought no one would know what I was talking about. Then MadPoet was kind enough to point out that I’m not the only one in Hell, he’s all across the country! OH GOD I hate them I hate them I hate them so much I can’t stand it! If I hear one of those awful commercials on the radio I turn it off. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, Tom Shane basically lectures us about how nice it would be to buy someone we love a diamond. Sadly, the man has the most awful monotone voice and about as much stage presence as a dust mote. I could have sworn he was from Minnesota because he says “quaaaaality” like a duck.
It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a Motel 6 one - I think it’s Motel 6, I’m probably wrong. But it’s Tom Bodette, another purveyor of the monotone, talking about how he’s gonna leave the light on for me. AAAAAAGGGGGHHH! I got so frustrated by this commercial that I called their 800 number and politely told the salesperson to tell their sales department to get rid of that commercial. She hung up on me, of course.
I swear I’m going to get the address of the frikkin’ Shane Company and write to them about those ads.
We have another radio one that I swear is local and I’ll be very surprised if not. Old Home Sour Cream. They have a torch singer moaning in orgasmic pleasure about sour cream! The freshest place… in the dairy case… Oooooold Hoooooome!*
Now I’m all riled up.
I was really surprised it took until page 2 of this thread before someone mentioned the C/Net ads. I’ve now seen about eight or ten variations, and there are two constants: all of the people involved (men and women) are the geekiest, homeliest people you’d find in an average shopping mall; and the execution is so bizarrely…nerdy. More often than not the YOU guy and the RIGHT guy end up holding hands or dancing together. The only possible explanation is that C/NET is intentionlly trying to make this ads as outlandish as possible.
The one thing we get assaulted by heavily here in the LoanStar state (yes, I know) is truck ads by the truckload. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why Chevy sticks with this amazingly annoying Like a Rock theme. Hey, Bubba, how’s your new Silverado ride? Like a rock, Buster.
Shiiiit don’t get me started on those damn things. It’s just as bad, of course, here in Louisiana.
All the truck companies have these country-song jingles that you will never ever see on a commercial up north.
the truckstop of the new south, na na na na, the truckstop of the new south
KILL ME NOW!!!
We have a local kitchen accessory place that have been running radio ads featuring a male voice that starts with "What woman doesn’t like to find that special something at a special price. " It sets my teeth on edge every time I hear it.
Gritting in Saskatchewan
Keith
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
What about those ads that feature “partying monitor-head woman,” dancing around and frolicking at some party; all the while, her head has been replaced with a computer monitor that appears to be displaying randomly-generated pie charts.
I can’t even remember the company. Their message is supposed to be, “our people work even when they’re not AT work!” But it looks more like, “we replace our employees’ heads with monitors and make the work forever! Bwa-ha ha ha ha!”
Libby’s Mom
Sandra
The other Chicagoans MUST know this one:
“Hi, I’m Peter Francis Geraci… Call and listen to my FREE bankruptcy information tapes…” There’s more, but it pains me to think of it. That guy annoys me on SO many levels I can’t put it into words. I hate him more than I hate the Taco Bell dog, BOTH sets of dim Old Navy twins, and the Pepsi girl COMBINED. That’s a great deal of hate, you understand, especially since the Pepsi girl makes me re-think my position on child abuse.
I never should have typed that. I’m going to have nightmares tonight, I know it. I feel oogy just THINKING about all of those.
The radio commercials for Cellular One. Make me want to take a baseball bat to them.
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
“I get along well with everybody.” --I.M.F.
Now I’m satisfied, at least two other people have mentioned the Mattress Giant commercials since I brought it up. I was beginning to think that I was the only one driven to the brink of physical violence by those friggin’ annoying “Ooooooohh Ahhhhhhhh” commercials.
I said it before and I’ll say it again, I would NEVER (are you listening Mattress Giant ad exec’s?) repeat NEVER buy ANYTHING from Mattress Fucking Giant as long as they have those annoying commercials airing every five minutes on TV and radio.
Oooh, eden, I know what you mean! That Coke ad focused so much on her worn out teeth, I thought it was a dentist ad or something.
And Tom Shane! “Just off Arapahoe Road on Emporia Street, one-half mile east of I-25.”
Help me, I’ve been brainwashed!
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. That’s my name too.
Wait, no it isn’t.
For those of you in Houston - it’s gotta be the Gallery Furniture commercials.
Spoken at a breakneck speed:
“I-45 North between Parker and Tidwell. Gallery Furniture SAVES YOU MONEY!”
I’ve said it before in the last commercial thread:
I fucking HATE the commercials for the Kingfish Market!
“Where “fish” is our middle name!”
AAAAAAAAAAGHH!
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.