Tom Shane has convinced me to never, ever buy a frickin diamond from him no matter how desperate I am for “quality service”.
He has also convinced me of taking up anarchy as a weekend hobby, and bombing several of his local stores.
Damn! I need to stop thinking out loud!
I’ll agree with some of you on the little Welch’s girl. She looks like a little pig. I mean that in the nicest way of course. 
Also, those stupid Dodge ads. It’s especially annoying when you’re watching a sporting event sponsored by Dodge, and you see a dozen commercials about them being “different.”
I guess my least favorite ads right now are the Amazon.com ads. You know, with those guys singing like a choir. Maybe I’m not getting them. Maybe they mean something that I can’t grasp. But, I’m forced to mute the TV as soon as they come on.
Oh, yes. Someone mentioned the “Rain check” ad with the little boy. I think that is one of the best commercials on TV right now. It cracks me up every time.
“Life is hard…but God is good”
The Braun electric shaver ad. I hate it.
The tagline goes something like this: “This Christmas get him the best gift he’ll ever get.”
Yeah. I can think of several things I’d like to wake up to on Christmas morning, and an electric razor is not at the top of my list.
Fortunately I have a talent for blocking out unpleasant memories. I can listen to Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano and Grandma got run over by a reindeer without suffering an aneuism, but that ad defies logic. Kill it.
Regarding the Taco Bell rat-dog: I have seen a tourism ad for Mexico that cracks me up. The tour guide at the front of the bus is holding up a Chihuahua and explains “…And in Mexico, our Chihuahuas don’t talk.”
Everyone in the bus rises to their feet, cheering.
<center>
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/Tacodog.gif
“Drop the commercial!”</center>
I once lost my corkscrew and had to live on food and water for several days
-W.C. Fields
http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm
“Dodge. It’s different. So you should all buy it. Every single one of you. And you can all be different together! With the same (uh, different.) cars. Buy it buy it buy it!”
The one thing I can’t stand is mattress commercials where they yell at you to buy their mattresses. Um, hello? Mattresses are for sleeping. If I’m watching TV at one in the morning on an uncomfortable mattress, and I see a damn mattress commercial where they’re screaming at me to buy a mattress, it will make me avoid the damn store. Examples (some of these might be local to where I live {Portland, OR}):
{Screaming} Sleep country, USA! Why buy a mattress anywhere else!?
{Also screaming} The Bedroom Superstore! Where America buys their bedrooms for less! {Funny, 2 references to the US of A}
And what the hell is with those beer commercials with the guy in the football stadium talking to the camera about useless information!? “{Insert product name here, I forgot it}. Expect more from an original.”
Who the hell cares!? Okay, maybe it’s the fact that I don’t drink beer (Hey, I’m 14), but if I did, and I was picking out a beer, do you think the first thought in my mind would be “Which beer is the most original? Oh, gee, I should buy that one, because it had some commercial with some guy talking to me that ended up having absolutely nothing to do with beer.”? Uh, no. Sorry.
Oh god. This thread is making me want to throw an extremely heavy object at my TV.
“Drop the commercial!” Amen!
i’ve always had a problem with that wild-berry (or whatever it is) pop-tart commercial.
you know, where the guy gets it all over his face.
as soon as that commercial comes on, i’m not only out of the room, but i’m way hell and gone down the stairs.
“human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust; we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” - albert einstein
Madpoet is obviously a dark god of the netherworld. He hit the three most popular ads around here. Car Toys + Tom Shane + Sonny Kobe Cook = 666. I thought I’d be able to escape on my trips to Vancouver, BC, but guess what I heard as soon as I got over the border?
‘Sleep Country, CANADA! Why buy a blah blah blah…’
However, even though I wish the diamond cartel would be smashed by bikini-wearing playmate commandos, I find odd comfort in the Tom Shane commercials-‘Monday through Friday till eight, Saturday and Sunday till five’. I’ve been hearing the same fundamental commercial since I was born, leading to my roommates’ idea that Tom Shane is actually the product of clever claymation.
From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee-
<font size=5> I have a “mute” button on MY TV’s remote control. It’s been years since I had to listen to a commercial.
NYYAAAH, NYYAAAHHH!</font> 
Save The Endangered Jackalope! Send Cash Now! If You Do This, I Will Use The Cash To Save Any Jackalope That I Happen To Find! Send Cash Now! Before It’s Too Late! My Bills, I Mean The Jackalope’s Bills Are Due The 15th Of The Month!
This has been a message from the Illuminated Committee To Save The Jackalope. Fnord.
No, no, no. Mute button’s not good. You have to be able to hear the TV from the kitchen when you’re making yourself a sandwich during the commercial so you know when the show’s coming back on.
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
“I get along well with everybody.” --I.M.F.
A man is sitting at his desk at work when the phone rings. He picks it up, and on the other end of the line is his wife’s frantic voice, “Bob, Jimmy Miller just died! He left his wife with a huge mortgage and no savings and they don’t have enough life insurance! Do we have enough life insurance?”
God, this ad frosts me. Is this really the first thing a person thinks about when a close family friend dies? One would think the conversation would be more like, “Bob, Jimmy Miller just died! Oh, God, I can’t believe it! It’s so sudden; God, I’m going to miss him so much! His wife says the funeral will be Wednesday. This is so awful, I can’t stop crying!” And how did this creatinous wife find out the family’s financial situation. “Gee, Beth, I’m really sorry Jimmy just up and died on you, but at least the house will be paid off and you can use the life insurance money to take that trip to Greece you’ve been dreaming about. What? Flat broke? God, I’d better call Bob!”
Asswipes.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Nope, Tom Shane is a real guy. If you go to one of his stores, there are pictures of him all over, receiving awards, congratulating newlyweds, etc. Strange, since a few years ago he tried to sue a local paper for publishing his photo. Thought he would be rolled on his way from Antwerp or Bangkok.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. That’s my name too.
Wait, no it isn’t.
Sadly, the Shane Company does not have a web site… or not one that I can find. Coincidentally, I saw their store for the first time this weekend. My husband’s office Christmas party was at a Holiday Inn near the “394 and Hopkins Crossroad” store.
I’m going to call them today and get the address for their corporate headquarters.
Is it permissible to publish the address so that teeming millions can write protesting mail about their ads?
The worst current ad is for a fat substitute. The warnings take up half of the ad. They say you may have increased flatulence, loose stools, increased stools and other lovely stuff. Sure makes me want to use it.
The bane of Chicago television is Victory Auto Wreckers. They’ve been using the same freakin’ commercial since Carter was President: some moron opens the door of a rustbucket early '70s car and the door falls clear off, while the announcer intones “That old car is worth money!”
The scary thing is that by sheer annoying repetition of that damned commercial, I can recall where Victory is located and their telephone number: “710 East Green in Bensenville, near O’Hare. 860-2000!” Doesn’t the lack of an area code tell you right up front how old that commercial is!
Another real Chicago winner of long and annoying vintage is “588-2300, Empire!” Since Chicago’s been split into about a dozen area code (seriously, about half a dozen), they’ve dubbed in “800” before the number – in a totally different voice!
I hate jewelry commercials in general. But the toppers are the Mervis radio commercials.
In one, one of the Mervis brothers talks about how he and his brothers each developed the ability to judge either color, cut, or clarity in diamonds, and how proud their father was when they were young and discussed this at dinner. (If I was the father, I’d think, “Well, no grandchildren for us.”)
Or when they sound so magnanimous about their diamond prices. They find little rocks in the ground and charge a fortune for them!
I looked in the mirror today/My eyes just didn’t seem so bright
I’ve lost a few more hairs/I think I’m going bald - Rush
This isn’t really about an ad, but all the complaints about diamond ads brought it to mind. The mark-up on jewlry is outrageous! I don’t know about 100% genuine stuff, but mark-up on costume jewlry like they sell on the Home Shopping networks is ridiculous. My dad used to have his own little tool/toy/second hand shop, and he purchased a lot of novelty and gift items, like jewlry, from whole sale catalogs like Cook Brothers and Oriental Trader. The recommended retail price on some of the CZ stuff would be anywhere from $70 to $150. Wholesale? About 3 bucks.
A while ago, my mother in law was complaining because she’d tried to hock a ring she’d bought off of a home shopping network and the pawn shop refused to take it. She said she’d paid more than $300 for it and was disgusted that they wouldn’t give her a dime. Seeing as how most of the pawn shops I know of figure out how much an item is worth and then pay you 1/10th the value, a dime is about all she could have gotten.
I was tempted to tell her something like that, but I kept my mouth shut. Aren’t I too nice?
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Hey now, not my place to be stepping on the Morning Star’s toes here. I’m just a Kaladim…
I rather like the invisible people ad. It’s creative, sexy, funny, and doesn’t play too often on any stations that I watch. (It helps that I don’t watch TV)
The redheaded guy on the e-trade ads torques me though. It could be that I have the exact opposite reaction to redheaded guys that I have to redheaded women, but he just rubs me the wrong way.
http://www.madpoet.com
Computers have let mankind make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.
Torq, I wasn’t in these parts in the 80’s. But no, the Boots Williams commercials are gone. So are the dealerships. I think he got sued or something.
I don’t know if anyone else gets them, but I’m really excited by ::whisper:: The Goodguys at Goodyear are having the ::screaming:: BIGGEST TIRE SALE OF THE YEAR!!!
GOD I want to throttle that bastard.
And, McDumbass’s new radio commercial, the one with the kids talking about Buzz Lightyear… near the end, a black kid says “A confection dispensing device?” as he sprays his prepubescent saliva across the room. It… would… be… a CONFECTIONARY DISPENSING DEVICE! Bastards.
Ta-ta.
–Tim
We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.
Bob Dole and ED…conjures up nightmares.
Kepi, I remember Mattress Mac from when I lived in the Houston area 10 years ago, lol.
He was so goofy, he was kinda funny.
Making fun of Tom Shane is a favorite pastime in my family’s house. My dad thinks it’s hilarious to drone on about Antwerp in a nasal voice.
This is probably local, due to the fact that it hasn’t been mentioned yet, but Bay Area residents will agree with me: Paul from the Diamond Center must DIE!
Any car/truck commerical, too. Especially ones for luxury cars where they try to convince you that $30,000 is an amazing steal. (“I’m not rich, I was able to get this BMW for only $33,000! Any ol’ middle class person can afford that!”)
~Kyla
“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.”