I’m a recovering alcoholic and I don’t believe everyone who ever gets drunk or does stupid things is even a problem drinker, let along an alcoholic.
There is a world of difference between someone who gets sloshed at the occasional family affair and someone who is sloppy everyone night at home.
I attended ACA (adult children of alcoholics) before at the recommendation of a therapist. My Mormon parents never had even a sip of alcohol to drink, but it was such an abusive and emotionally neglectful home.
Taking to other people in ACA, I found that alcoholic parents can screw up kids in multiple ways. There is direct physical and emotional abuse. So called “happy drunks” may not do the former but they could still be doing the latter.
Another serious problem is the emotional neglect. One friend had some of the happy drunks and the parents basically just checked out of life when they got home after work. The parents were never mean but never there for her, either.
they don’t provide