Hello all. I’m back with an update.
As you may remember, I am the bad mom with the two teen boys (15 and 17) who were smoking and vaping weed last year.
Family therapy. Long talks.
The 17 year old has turned around, I think. Says he doesn’t miss weed. And glad he stopped using it. Looking forward to graduation from high school and on to college.
The 15 year old, however, even tho he’s passed drug tests, has continued to be a problem for us.
Both boys phones were taken away.
Well, we found that the 15 year old got an iPod from his friend. He’s been using it since January. And we recently found out that he was drinking at a sleepover party at his friends house. And once before over the summer.
The younger kid will be the death of us.
He lies, he drinks, he has used weed. He’s only 15. How will he get to 25???
Also, he had a text from his iPod that said he had tried acid. He claims it was a joke but now since he’s continued to lie, we’re not sure.
I thought you were cool with alcohol use, as long as they stayed away from the demon weed?
Alcohol is a problem for some kids, but not for others.
You can like beer in high school and still end up on the Supreme Court.
I started drinking around 15 years old. Maybe sooner. I survived past 25 (and 50).
Alcohol is a problem for some kids, but not for others.
You can like beer in high school and still end up on the Supreme Court.
I started drinking around 15 years old. Maybe sooner. I survived past 25 (and 50).
Okay, and?..
There have been so many threads devoted to this, already. This forum has been pretty clear (and impressively unified) on how you should be handling this. I don’t really know how much more we can tell you: Continue to love your son, accept that he will make mistakes and do things you don’t like, and tell him that even though you don’t approve of the drinking, that if he’s ever in trouble and needs a ride, HE STILL NEEDS TO CALL YOU, rather than drive himself.
My parents had the expectation that my brother and I wouldn’t drink, but told us that if we did, to call them if we needed a clean ride home. I never had to, and I don’t believe my brother did either, but just knowing we had a safe way home and that we wouldn’t be screamed at was comforting. The last thing you need is your teenager acting like teenagers often do, but then deciding that he’d rather not risk your wrath, resulting in him hitting someone on the way home.
Also, like Dewey said: I thought you were totes cool with alcohol use 
I never said I was ok with alcohol use. I had said that with alcohol use, it is easier to discuss with other parents. Just like in this case, the parent told me they had apparently been drinking beer.
My concern is that yes, I can love, support but my husband and I are finding it hard to trust as he has continued to lie. Every month it’s a new thing that has broken our trust.
Doesn’t seem like normal teen rebellion. This kid is firing on multiple cylinders.
I thought you said that your husband’s family had a history of alcohol abuse. It’s possible that your fifteen-year-old son inherited the gene or the personality or whatever it is that makes him more likely to be an abuser of drugs, alcohol or both. In that case you may want to advise him to steer clear of both. I had a college friend whose mother was an alcoholic and for this reason he has always been very strict about not consuming any alcohol whatsoever.
We’ve discussed the possibility of addiction in family. Seems to fall on teenage deaf ears.
According to therapist, teens believe it will never happen to them.
Until it does.
Of course, you have that problem of repeating yourself. Suuuuurrre, blame it on board timeouts. :rolleyes:
Um…ten years will pass?
Or maybe before then he will wake up and his life will be in shambles (his own doing) just like you told him. Desperately in need of someone whom he knows loves HIM, warts and all, his family will not fit that need because for the past X years all they have done is tell him he’s wrong, messing up, damaging the family. He will be alone, his sense of self-worth shredded, knowing in his heart you were right all along and he has indeed ruined his life. Repentant, crushed, addled, he will do the right thing for once in his life and stop being a burden on you.
YMMV. Good luck.
So you’re so disappointed that your other three threads have dropped off the active list you had to start a new one. I’d say you’re the one who’s addicted, to attention. Please get treatment and leave us alone.
I remember the dark day when my mother caught me drinking a ginger ale. It put our family through the wringer and hung it on a clothesline and folded it neatly when it was dry and tucked it into the bottom drawer of the walnut dresser in the guest bedroom. I assured her that it was just a soda with no alcohol, but she was inconsolable—first it’s ginger ale, she cried, and then you’ll move on to Cheerwine, and in a year you’ll be pounding back Shirley Temples with the rest of the boozed-up sots on Skid Row.
Ten years ago, after my father brought home a pint of rum raisin Häagen-Dazs, she took her own life. He found her draped over her favorite couch and assumed she’d just fainted.
This!!
Agreed. Don’t feed the troll!
Well, for alcohol, I remember we always had a presentation for sophomores and juniors in our HS. It was one of the fathers of a student. He worked for Police/FBI and came each year to show us graphic, graphic pictures of drunk driving victims. Some with head cut off, some who became part of the dashboard, some with enough cuts to bleed out in the freaking car.
I’d suggest prepping him for this kind of thing. Yeah, at 15, I’m sure he’ll be like, “Ah, that won’t be me”. So what? I say put him in the scare category on drunk driving. If he gets afraid of that happening, it might help all alcohol consumption.
I know… but it is just so hard.
My sons were caught as teens on more than one occasion. One has an honors degree in finance and is working as a wealth manager. The other is a Physician’s Assistant.
Damn Losers!
Yeah, he is. And that’s how an engine is supposed to work. Would you prefer he not be firing on any cylinders? Maybe you’d prefer that he didn’t have a combustion engine at all; maybe you’d rather that he be a horse-drawn cart, or a rickshaw. For that matter, he shouldn’t have wheels either, because things with wheels can roll away from you. It would be better if he were just a block of wood that you could keep in a box, apparently.
:rolleyes:
After following various threads I will pipe up and say that your kids seem like perfectly normal teenagers. I was probably 19 by the time I tried acid, but the rest of the timeline fits.
I have had every opportunity to smoke marijuana throughout my life but rarely do. In the situation I’m currently in I could smoke every day, yet the last time I had any was probably last September.
You know what my parents did? They gave me sound advice and then basically just left me the fuck alone to make my own decisions. I think you’re alienating your sons.
By the way. That acid text wasn’t a joke. He’s tried it. Believe me.
Your therapist is a genius