Adult film rant

I wonder: Why is it that half of an adult film consists of fellatio? Albeit that it may be much better to be a recipient of it than being a spectator (I never engaged), I don’t think that looking at it is so aesthetic that it must be one-half to two-thirds the film.

Also, the actual intercorse is so boring. I want more atheticism expressed. Do something like the scene in Hot Shots: Part Deux where the woman did a back one-and a half somersault from a diving board in mounting the hero (unfortunately, both were clothed). There is way too much emotion from the men. the have to cover up the fact that the women act like they are just there for the money. Only a couple of them show any emotion at all. Make the people in it sexual athletes. Have them use the entire Kama Sutra, then make up new positions. I don’t want to see the same three positions over and over again.

The only thing that they do right is foreplay, all three seconds of it. Then there is poor editing, poor camera work, and bad writing. They say porn is degrading to women; I submit that it is more degrading to for men to watch it. What does it say? That men will watch action regardless of the quality of the movie.

And they do.

Having tucked twelve very interesting months as a clerk at an adult bookstore, I can very safely say that a majority of the heterosexual men who purchase or rent adult videos are careless of whether they’re getting Porno-with-a-Plot. Of these men, the majority of them want to see blowjobs above all else.

Take a look around next time you’re there. You’ll see all sorts of four- and six-hour compilation videos featuring nothing but fellatio. You’ll see NO “all-cunnilingus” or “all-foreplay” videos, unless they’re all-girl, in which case, you’re not going to see the acrobatic sex you’re craving.

My advice? Round up a couple gymnasts and a few buddies and make your own movies. :slight_smile:

I’m with Capacitor. Too much head giving going on. I’ve thought this same thing the very first time i saw a porno, Debbie Does Dallas i believe, back in '85. I don’t even bother watching it anymore, not that my wife would be to pleased if i did, because it’s the same crap over and over and over. Basically seen one, you’ve seen 'em all. More or less the same positions over and over just different people performing, and i’d swear some of those girls don’t look a bit happy about it.

Damn, almost forgot. We are in the Pit. Gotta use Felch or Squick somehow.

:: hmmm, thinks long and hard, get your mind outta the gutter :smiley: ::
Shit, can’t cum up with a single goat-felching mouse-squicking thing.

Fellatio is such a big deal in pornography video probably (IMHO) because a lot of men don’t get it and they wish they did. Maybe they like watching it and imagining it happening to them.

“I submit that it is more degrading to for men to watch it. What does it say?”

Uh, regardless of the wording of that, I would have to say that if you feel degraded than don’t watch it. I don’t think pornography is degrading. Having worked in the industry (as a WRITER, let me be clear about that) the folks in front of the camera and behind it are there because they want to be. No one is forced into working this industry. In fact, there is keen competition.

What is on the market is driven by what buyer’s want. I guess the market, mostly men, like what is out there. You might want to look around for more athletic videos because, trust me, they are out there. They are just not what is called “mass market” or “mainstream”.

It’s like the romance novel market; most readers want a certain plot and that’s what they buy so that is what the market supplies; however, there is a market for the off-beat. It’s smaller and not as widely marketed but it is still out there. You just have to look for it.

“intercorse” should be spelled “intercourse” but I digress… after reading this whole post twice I think the entire thing is a joke. Really, it must be. I can’t think of anyone taking this stuff seriously. Debating the merits or “aesthetic” qualities of pornography is like debating the aesthetic qualities of rap music… but I do like your correct use of the word, “Albeit”.

But, again, this is JMHO. If you don’t like mine than get your own!

Sorry about the misspelings, but the keys get stuck sometimes. The other times, I don’t preview the post.

I laugh at my own jokes, Byzatine. I am not laughing now.

Byzatine, you say that you were a writer. Well, let me ask you this: How come there isn’t better made porn done in the US? I have to get European and Japanese stuff to find better balance of sexual activities. and they are slowly becomining Californized. Is the mass market of the type of pornography from California what the market will bear, or what we are bearing from the market? Someone put it best about television, “It is not that we see what we like, but that we like what we see.” I choose quality in whatever form of entertainment. what is wrong with asking for quality adult films, like those made by Nin?

By the way, we will talk about rap later.

I’m not even going to make a joke about WHY your keys stick (giggle) it’s just too easy!

No, I say that I AM a writer. I just no longer work in that particular industry. Why isn’t the porn made in the US better? That’s easy. The market doesn’t want porn with a plot. It really is driven by the fact that US buyers will buy what is out on the market. If they became more picky or stopped buying what was offered, the market would change.

Case in point: Many years ago there wasn’t much of a market for women on women films unless there was a male, on camera, directing the action. No one was buying them unless there was a man involved. With the cultural acceptance of lesbians, we saw the market change to encompass this. There was no longer women on women films with a man in charge; lesbians came into their own. This was entirely market driven.

Contrary to popular belief, women do buy and enjoy porn. Our tastes are different and the market geared toward us is far smaller. If you are looking for an adult tape with more plot and foreplay and more of a story you should look for adult films geared toward women. I’m sorry but the market for men is really driven by the, “put it in and fuck her/him hard” mentality. That is the market driven by men.

If men stopped buying this crap, the market would change. That is the basic law of supply and demand. The bulk of the buyers are men and, apparently, this is what they like.

For what it’s worth, I think the bulk of it IS crap. Same old same old with too much close ups of a man’s penis thrusting into some orifice. As Cheech and Chong said, “looks like my grandfather eating ice-cream.” But if someone is buying it, that is what the market will produce.

I think that there’s just a lot of really horny guys, and they’d get off by reading the phone book if there wasn’t (even allegedly bad) porn out there.

I have very… umm… odd tastes in pornography, none of which is satisfied by conventional porn (to me, sex is just “in-out-in-out-in-squirt-out”), but things that are a lot less “common” (such as oral sex) would be a welcome change of pace.

Fucking shitheads! (That’s pronounced “shit-heads”, not “shith-eeds”).

*Originally posted by Byzantine *
** Having worked in the industry (as a WRITER, let me be clear about that) the folks in front of the camera and behind it are there because they want to be.

This stuff has writers? As in a script? Are you pulling my leg?

Very cute, lickspittle, but I’m NOT pulling your leg or any other part of your anatomy. Eww! Like for gross! Like I’d touch THAT thing!

And what is it YOU do for a living? Just thought I’d ask, since you seem to think writing for a living is so silly and all.

Nothing wrong with writing for that industry. I wrote a lot of blurbs on the back to the videos. Easy work, good pay. Nothing wrong with that. Just didn’t want any horny fourteen year old sending me e-mail going, “Are you that one woman in that one film with the big thing?”. I wanted to be clear because I’ve gotten enough whacko e-mail as it is. I wasn’t soliciting more. What was your point? I mean besides the one on your head?

Hey, I don’t judge what anyone does for a living, so long as it’s legal. It just took me by suprise. I’v seen more than a moderate amount of porn (bordering on excessive), and it simply did not occur to me that there was much scripting to it. I always thought they had directer saying stuff like ‘Now do this…’ and then they edit the voice off the tape.

Really…I meant no offense.

{spooje bows his head and backs away}

A few months ago, I started a thread entitled “What I hate about porno”

I’ll repeat just two of my points here: (I guess it’s okay to plagerize myself?)

  1. No plots, only scenes.

I go to the adult video store, and 99% of the tapes are just scene compilations. “25 Grossest Ass-reamings,” “Clit-Hungry Sluts,” “4 Hours of Cum-Soaked Facials, Part 17,” and the like.

I mean, where’s the movie? Even those that are supposed to be movies are basically just encounter scenes. I’m not looking for Citizen Kane plots, but a story would be nice.

  1. The women aren’t physically aroused.

I’m not just talking about orgasms, which I can see might be very difficult to have under filming conditions. But many times it is obvious the woman is not physically aroused much if at all.

I realize that women vary in the amount of natural lubrication during arousal; but it strikes me odd that porno women always seem dry as a bone. And with the gyno close-up cam, it is painfully obvious.

Actually, painful is a good word, because I have seen these women actually wince during the act. Some put their hands against the guy as if to try to push him away a little. This can’t be fun for them; and that translates into less interest for me and my girl watching. We want to see a woman dripping wet with arousal; thorougly enjoying the experience; not looking as though she is bored or wanting to be anywhere else but in that particular scene.

Guess I’ve been spoiled by gay porn, which I like conceptually - manly men doing manly things with their manly naughty bits.

The only thing I don’t like about gay porn is the guys aren’t good-looking anymore - they’ll pull any average-looking schmoe off the street. And then the few times they get a cutie, you only see him once - rarely anymore do they seem to make gay male porn megastars like Joey Stefano or even Jon King from way back.

Fortunately there’s a new trend in international-type guys, so I’m getting to see more Asian, European and Latin boys. YUM! :smiley: And since I’ve bought a few in my day, I’m on the mailing lists for like every major and minor distributor in the country, so I get a wide variety of sampling. Plus, TLA Video is based in Philadelphia! Woo hoo!


First off: the money shot. While I can understand that orgasm - male orgasm in particular - is the goal of most porn on the market, I don’t need to see what is apparently gallons of semen spraying across the landscape. Particularly not all over whomever has been getting the shellacking. That’s just my opinion.

Second: Plot. Okay, I’m probably totally not with 95% of the women out there, but I only need enough plot to get me from scenario to scenario. If I had porn tapes (which I don’t because of little kids running around and no lock-box), I would wear out the fast-forward button trying to find the “good parts.” My favorite porn is the kind in which there are a bunch of little vignettes and not a whole plotline you have to follow for a fucking (literally) hour.

Third: NO MORE GODDAMNED LONG RED TALONS ON LESBIANS!! Any woman who has ever slept with another women and who is NOT into extreme PAIN will tell you that obnoxiously long fingernails do NOT belong in OR around a vagina. Or anything else. And fingernail polish CHIPS, people.

There’s more fellatio than intercourse, because intercourse scenes usually include anatomical closeups of peoples’ buttholes.
IMHO, that’s relatively nasty.
I don’t wanna stare at buttholes, so fellatio wins.

spooje – get over here! Where the fuck do you think you are going?! I’m not done with YOU yet!

No, I’m done. I think I was having a woman’s period or something. Nothing like watching me over-react or something. But it IS fun to read, isn’t it? I mean, as long as you aren’t on the receiving end :wink:

divemaster – I’ve noticed this too. Painful is the operative word on this and it will be a tape I never rent again. I want people who are turned on and into what is going on. I’ll never forget the one tape I rented and the woman was checking her watch while the guy was slamming away.

Esprix – gods! You really crack me up! Manly naughty bits! One thing I do like about gay male porn is the men generally are better looking and have very well proportioned cocks.

Hamadryad – yep. I can’t stand to see that. I’m always afraid they are going to puncture the poor lady! Even more frightening is when they want to put those claws near anyone’s ass. {Shiver} I wouldn’t let them near my eyes, let alone my ass!

Well, I like plot driven porn. Two of the best XXX films I’ve see are “Irresistable”, in which a guy in a stale marriage gets to travel through time to sleep with the great women of history,( I even like the mushy- for porn- ending!) and " The Ribald Tales of Canterbury" which is an X-rated retelling of the classic.( all the pilgrim’s tales are about sex- with a nice lesbian scene when they camp for the night. Hyapatia Lee- rrrrrrrow! And I love the monk getting a BJ at the end- it’s funny!) All the mass market stuff now a days is the same. Put the tape in. FF to a random spot. What did ya miss? Nothing you won’t see in the next 5 minutes. I agree with previous posters in that i want womwn in porn to be aroused and having fun. That’s what it’s all about.
Note to my mom- I didn’t make this post. Someone else did. really. :smiley:

Plot is important to a degree, but come on–this is porn afterall. Nobody’s renting these videos for the plots. My biggest complaint is that most porn focuses so closely and exclusively on the in-out action that you sometimes can’t even tell if the naughy bits are connected to actual people. What’s the point of having nekkid beautiful women if all you are shown is a grinding close-up. I want to see the whole body, the faces…afterall, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Hell, I’ve seen some B movies on Cinemax that were more arousing than hard-core porn, precisely because of what B movies won’t show. Instead of a clinical exam of genitalia, you get the whole erotic experience (and the photography, actors, and lighing are a lot better-looking).

Byz, please tell me you wrote erotica and not plots for porno films. :slight_smile:

Tell me they really don’t pay people to write lines that are basic variants of:

“Hello m’am, did you call for a pizza.”

“Ummmmmmmm. . . aren’t you a hot little stud.”

“Awwwww, shucks m’am.”

“Come on in while I find something to, ummmmmmm tip you with.” :::gives young stud sexy, sly look as she slowly runs one hand over breast while other hand begins to find it’s way into her pace panties:::

:::Young stud lays back on couch, slowly kneading the bulge in his pants as he watches her tease herself:::

:::Horrible, funky sex music begins to play. . . :::

My opinion on plot? Who needs it? I like watching simply for the sex. If I wanted to pay attention to plot I would rent Pulp Fiction.

Make that “lace” panties. Gawd it is hard to type one handed.

I’m kidding! No really. KIDDING!

. . . .maybe.

Great thread!

I like porn in theory, but in practice I too often just turn it off because of major contact embarrassment. The two items required apparently, are huge tits and an enormously long dick. That’s all. Here’s a list of things that really bug me about these movies.

  1. Generally poor production qualities - sound, video, writing, costuming (don’t even get me started!).
  2. Overly enhanced breasts. Maybe you guys salivate at them, but all I can see is very tender tissue that has been STRETCHED far beyond its limits, until it is taut and unyielding. Youch!
  3. Freakazoid dicks. No wonder you men are all paranoid that your penis is too small! Let me tell you, it seems to me that getting it from these guys would be like getting your yearly pap smear. I find very long and thin penises really off-putting. If it’s long enough to go in, that’s enough. And please, how about a decent circumference?
  4. The ugliest men on earth, with bad haircuts, dressed badly, who leave on their ridiculous cowboy boots/hat/watch/whatever during the action. Clearly these movies are aimed at men, because no woman could get turned on looking at these guys.
  5. I totally agree with the complaint about bone-dry vaginas. Yeah, that looks really pleasurable.

I’ve heard that Femme makes videos more for women, but I can’t say how they are personally. I think they should either invest in a plot that in itself is a turn-on, rather than an excuse to watch people stop and screw every five minutes (I could definitely watch a fully porn version of Sirens, say), or just show wall-to-wall sex with good production values and attractive people - and lube.