While I haven’t been active in the local Pagan community, I am still The Pet Sitter for two reasons: first, I have experience with many different species and situations. (I am familiar with many varieties of animal first-aid. In the past I have preformed mouth-to-snout - and mouth-to-mouse.) Second, as a fellow Pagan, I won’t touch ritual objects or panic at the sight of a pentacle and other symbols.
My friend Waxwing asked me to watch her two elderly dogs last week. Since Wing’s house is on the opposite side of the Denver Metro area from the Mouse_Pad, I decided to stay at her home instead of commuting between the two places.
During my stay, I used the guest bathroom. The dogs were accustomed to having this room to themselves and liked to lie on the tile floor to keep cool. Being an (plutonic) animal-lover, I’m used to maneuvering around pets as I go about my usual routine.
Saturday, I was caught off-guard.
I had showered and was getting out of the tub. Jess, a Boxer, had settled on top of the bath mat while I was scrubbing up. Not looking where my foot was going, I stepped on poor ol’ Jess. She yelped and ran like hell down the hall. Luckily, I was able to catch myself before falling flat on my face. To Jess, the world had come to an end. Her person was gone and a somewhat-familiar individual had injured her! Hazel, a very amiable mongrel and Jess’ rival for attention, started to howl along with the Boxer :smack:
I quickly dried off and dressed. “Outside? You girls wanna go outside?” I said in a forced-cheerful tone.
The dogs ran out, but continued howling. I managed to get Jess to come to me, and other than a wet spot, she was unharmed. (She didn’t bear my full weight. As soon as I felt pelt, I adjusted my step.)
Waxwing, like many people, has a crazy neighbor. The dogs got his attention.
“Will you shut those mutts up!” he shouted.
“Sorry. They’ll settle down in a minute.” I replied.
The man looked over the fence at me. “You pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“The lady that lives here is a lesbo. How did you get pregnant?”
The dogs were settling down. I bit my tongue and ignored the neighbor.
“Hey! How did you get knocked-up?” the neighbor demanded.
“Your parents should have explained that to you. If you missed out, they’re some useful books on the topic, check the local library.”
Thankfully, it was my last day at Wing’s. Hopefully, the neighbor will take my advice and expand his intellectual horizons. 
