- The movers showed up right on time on Thurs morning at 8 am. Surprisingly the big burly guy was a wimp. It was this scrawny guy with a pony tail a beard, and wild eyes that was the ox of the group. He looked like a starving junkie, but he just went all day and would carry anything. He put a strap under the big Maytag washer and carried it downstairs by himself. He held his end of the pool table just fine, while the big guy groaned and grunted and almost lost it.
When we got to the new house, the tractor trailer couldn’t make the turn. They had to send a straight truck and another guy (at extra expense.) Then the police came about the tractor trailer parked in the middle of the road, and one of the movers had to stay with the truck.
But it all got in ok.
- Friday the fence guys came to put up our horse fence. They had the mother of all pile drivers. They had these one foot diameter, by ten foot long wood posts, and that driver could knock them in in one or two shots. I talked to the operator and he said he doesn’t worry about rocks, he justs pounds through them, or pushes them down. He had a disconcerting habit of keeping a hand on the post while the pile driver was going to make sure it when in straight. I couldn’t believe the guy still had all his fingers and I could barely take my eyes off the guy, because I was sure he was going to get his hand pulverized any minute. He also seemed to know when he was going to hit a rock, because he stepped to the side of the pile driver every time. When one of the posts exploded, I knew why. They had to drive a couple of the posts in pretty close to where the water lines were coming from the well into the house. We didn’t know exactly where they were. They had a water witch with them, and he found them. They were about to pound a post in within a couple of yards of where we knew a line had to be, and they felt very safe because the water witch had found the line, but then I suddenly remembered that water witching was complete and total bullshit, and told them I’d dig out the postholes for those two posts myself. I did, and found no water line where they told me to dig. I didn’t bother to dig where they marked the line, but even if it is where they say, it wouldn’t prove anything.
They were a band of mad and merry Mennonite guys, and they put the whole thing up in a day.
-
By hand I loaded a 1000 bales of hay onto a trailer and drove it down in 5 trips. Nothing is quite as nerve-wracking as driving a trailer full of hay down a highway. You can’t help but wonder as you drive whether you stacked it. You wonder if it’s slipping, or if your knots were good enough. This picture in your head of all these 50 pound bales flying off the trailer and causing a pile up persist in your mind until you are safely home with it. Nothing is quite as tiring as loading, unloading and stacking 1000 bales of hay.
-
We took the horses down the next day. The first one stepped on the trailer just fine. The second one, Jasper, my huge bay quarter horse, sniffed the trailer, put one foot on it, stepped back down, looked at me quite calmly and said “What are you, crazy? If I step on that trailer, I’m gonna die. No way.” For three hours (and I exagerrate not at all,) we coaxed, bullied, beat, begged, prodded, blindfolded, fed, teased, taunted and even tried to winch Jasper into that trailer. I even tried the Jedi mind trick, but either I wasn’t doing it right, or, like Jabba the Hut, he was immune.
“No way,” he said. “And you can’t make me.” I got nasty rope burns on my hands finding out that he was right.
So, we took the other horse down, and I figured I was gonna have to ride Japser 15 miles to the new place. My wife wanted to give it a try, so we went back up. She brought him to the edge of the trailer and asked nicely.
“No way I’m getting on that thing. It’s like I told him. Find another chump.”
So, she asked nicely again.
“Ain’t doing it,” said jasper.
Then that little line in my wife’s forhead deepened and she took on her Angel of Death aspect.
“Jasper!” "You get on this trailer right NOW! and she gave the halter a yank. As she said, I cringed in fear in the deepest part of my soul, and thanked the Gods that that power wasn’t being directed at me.
“Ok, OK,” said Jasper. “I’m getting on now,” and he did.
He broke loose from his rope about 100 yards down the road, and we had to retie him, then he started trying to kick his way out of the trailer, and started throwing a general fit.
My wife was getting upset, and scared, but this time, I knew what to do.
“Just wait a second,” I told her.
I hit a flat straight stretch in the road, made sure there was nobody behind me, and jammed on the brakes.
This great big crashing sound came from the back of the trailer as Jasper was thrown off balance and almost fell.
He spent the rest of the ride standing quietly concentrating on his balance. That was his first trailer ride, but that’s how you teach them to stand.
- One of the dogs wanted to bark all night at the new place, and we do have neighbors, so that’s no good. I brought him inside, and he barked all night inside. So, I brought a “no barking collar,” and put it on him last night. It’s got two electrodes on it.
Around 10PM he starts up.
“WOOOOF!”
Bzzzt!
“OWWWWm, Shit! What the hell was that!”
Bzzt!
“Owww!”
BZZZZT!
“Shit!”
Bzzzt!
[sub]"oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man what is going on?[/sub]
A hour later he tried again.
“WOOOOF!”
Bzzzt!
[sub]“oww. Shit,”[/sub]
An hour after that, I guess he decided to see if it was still working.
“Wooooof!”
Bzzzzt!
[sub] owwww, crap[/sub]
and then he was quiet.
