Advice For The Gals: Having Sex In The Car? Either Pull Over Over Or Stick To Oral

Here’s a police report Nichole Dougherty and Carl Nunez may wanna keep hidden from their future grandchildren. My favorite line from the police report has got to be:

Translation: I was getting my jollies watching a young couple boink behind the wheel. I followed them around town until they had an accident. I don’t want to get involved for fear my wife will crack me upside the head with a rolling pin.

Let’s hope they were wearing clean underwear.

I heard this story on the radio yesterday. Pretty funny. But why is this addressed to “Gals” specifically?

Coitus Interruptus Withavengeance…
:smiley:

Tire tracks all across your back
I can see you had your fun

Because it’s obvious she attacked him. He was driving along, being a careful driver, and she flung herself on top of him. :slight_smile:

The orignal thread title was going to be ‘A WARNING For The Gals…’, but it sounded a little too familiar. Why “Gals” (as opposed to ladies) specifically? From the Smoking Gun cited in the OP:

Ouch! Talking about getting banged. Need I say more? Besides, it’s not as dangerous for guys in the driver’s seat - They have 3 airbags to pad them in the event of a collision.

Nope, I actually meant why “Gals” ass opposed to both guys and gals. After all, it was the guy who was driving and should have pulled over. But I’m just picking nits, so don’t mind me. :slight_smile:

You know, I could see them designing airbags in the shape of breasts. Considering how traumatic the experience of a wreck must be they would, in addition to the physical protection, provide an immediately recognizable and genuine sense of comfort as well. Don’t mean for this to sound sexist, as they be equally reassuring no matter your gender.

True enough, but then you’d need to have racially different airbags, customer choice of airbag size, areola color and size choices-the variances are infinite.

*For Sale: 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser, fully loaded, GPS, premium sound, wheels, burgundy exterior, tan leather interior. Driver side blonde C with perky airbags, passenger side black D airbags. $22,500 obo. *

To the tune of Humoresque:

Was it you who did the pushin’,
Left the stains upon the cushion,
Footprints on the dashboard upside-down?
Was it you, you sly wood pecker
who got into my daughter Rebecker?
If it was you, you better leave this town.

-REPLY-

Yes, it was I who did the pushin’,
Left the stains upon the cushion,
Footprints on the dashboard upside-down.
But, since I’ve got into your daughter
I’ve had trouble passing water
So, I guess we’re even all around!!

Oh, my, this is a terribly silly thread! Talk about the dangers of cross-town traffic!

My girlfriend hates it when I, uh, “tease” her when she’s driving. She’s always worried that something like that story would happen.

I’ll have to mention this to 'er…

Hey SPOOFE, what’d they find on the dashboard?

[Butthead] uhh huh huh … ass.[/Butthead]

[Quagmire]

All-riiiight!.

[/Quagmire]

Another downside to this would be the packs of lonely, horny guys who’d slam their cars into things just so they could grab some tit…

(Hey! That would make a great water cooler conversation bit.

Ralph: You hear about Bob and his new car?

Sam: No, what happened?

Ralph: He swerved to miss a duck and wound up grabbing tit.

Sam: How bad did he hurt the car?

Ralph: Totaled. Lucky for him though, he had a set of Dolly Parton’s installed when he bought the car, so the worst thing he got was a set of stretch marks around his lips.)

Gives new meaning to Bill Cosby’s line …

“Yes, we found it in the glove compartment.”

The worst part of the title wasn’t it being directed at “Gals”, I think it should have just said “pull over” not “either pull over or stick to oral”. I think oral would be even more dangerous and embarrassing. Can you imagine having to call for the jaws of life to pry the woman’s head out from under the dashboard? Or how about having to reattach one’s member after the shock of the crash causes the woman to bite down hard?

Just had a “World according to Garp” flashback.

So y’all have never heard of the BangBus? Yeah, it’s a porn site. Two or three guys drive around in a minivan with plenty of windows, pick up an allegedly random young lady off the street, and pay her money to do the nasty right there in the van while driving down the highway in traffic. But they do it in the back seat - the driver isn’t directly involved in the action.

Anybody remember the scene from the Steve Martin movie, “Parenthood”?