Advice: Job suddenly a bad fit

In My Humble Opinion
1

I always thought I had an exceptionally good attitude toward work, but it turns out that I’ve just been lucky…until now.

I’m two year in to a job with an organization that I am likely to have a long career with, and that makes a lot of sense for me to stick with. I’ve been in a leadership track program in a somewhat peripheral part of the organization. It’s never been exactly my dream job, but I’ve been gaining good experience and working on some cool projects. Work-life balance has always been good, and it’s been overall a decent place to learn about the organization.

I recently transitioned to a new project team on a high-profile project, where I was promised a leadership role-- potentially a great opportunity. Unfortunately, that role hasn’t materialized, and I’ve been doing fairly routine work. It’s not particularly fulfilling and I’m not really growing professionally, but there is some chance that that could evolve (though probably never to where I would hope to be). One thing I do worry about is that my work has been entirely inward facing, and the networks I’ve worked hard to build are going unmaintained.

More distressingly, work-life balance has gone down the tubes. The high-profile nature of the project has translated into lots of last minute emergencies, long hours, insta-deadlines and the deadly mix of disorganization and micro-management. I’m okay, even excited, to work hard toward a goal, but most of the work we do seems to be fire drills. Everyone is burning out. It’s a toxic climate.

I’ve been trying to get reassigned, but today I learned that isn’t likely. For bureaucratic reasons, I most likely have to make it through spring until I can try to move internally. I need to get through several more months.

The stress is creeping into my life and coming home with me. I greet the day with dread and end it with more dread. I am having a hell of a time even appearing enthusiastic or even mildly engaged. Sometimes I’m on the edge of tears. Needless to say, I’m not doing my best work-- which is really unlike me and pretty distressing on its own.

How do I shape up? How do I keep perspective? Any advice for working with a micro-managing manager? An unmotivated team? Keeping some work-life balance in an environment that’s not conducive to it? Anything you guys have is much appreciated.

2

Sorry to hear what you are dealing with. What is your mentor status and/or relationship with folks who might decide over roles you would like to step into? Anyone you can talk with who can speak directly to the situation, or who can help you transition out of your project when the timing is acceptable?

3

Black magic.

Endurance (and good stress meds).

Drugs, Drink and Therapy.

New Job.

Pick your poison.

4

Aren’t you expecting again?

Bed rest then maternity leave. It will be Spring before you know it.

(Actually, seriously, talk to your doctor if I’m remembering right and you are expecting. You are under a lot of stress at work if you are pregnant, that isn’t good. Your doctor may be able to give you an eight hour a day limit for health reasons. At that point, offer the micromanager the chance to reassign you (in consultation with one of your mentors) and get someone who "can give this high profile project the attention it deserves.)

5

Right, you’re expecting and don’t you also have a little one already? You have some special things going on. Please go to the doctor and just get checked. Do that first.

You may even be experiencing some PPD.

I’d start there. Good luck and please do take care.

6

Don’t ask to be reassigned unless you have a specific new opportunity in mind. To do otherwise screams “not a team player” and “can’t handle the challenge.”

For the work-life balance thing: don’t let them have any more mental energy than they explicitly demand of you. Worrying about the job when you’re off the clock is your choice. Staying late to turn around your TPS reports when the boss drops them off on your desk at 4PM is your choice (unless they tell you they need them first thing in the morning.) Missing out on family stuff is your choice.

I’m currently in a similar situation - good money, but uninspiring work, dumb politics, “meh” senior management, terrible client, poorly conceived projects - and the one saving grace is that I can forget about all that shit when I walk through the door in the evening and play with my baby.

7

Why don’t you leave the job? You say you are unhappy, dreading your days, unlikely to advance, not growing professionally, and the quality of your work is suffering (which will make you unlikely to advance and stunt your professional growth further). What am I missing? Sound like the perfect time to restart your career and make a leap to a new organization with a new position. If you do it well, you can come back to this organization in a much more senior role as you jump over several rungs of the ladder.

Wait, you are pregnant? Congrats! This changes things, but not much. If you are not depending on your employment for health care, this would be a good time to thing about a change. What about consulting? Can you go part time doing the same type of project work you are doing now?

Unfortunately, there is not enough information to really help you, but with the negative feelings you currently have about your position, you need to be careful about getting stuck in a rut that it is hard to get out of…

8

Thanks, all. I’m reluctant to leave the organization-- it’s a good one and I have a good future here-- I just need to get through this rough patch. If I navigate it right, this place can take me where I want to go, but it’s rarely a smooth path for anyone. I’m not going to get a better deal, or even as good of a deal, slewhere. I do have good mentors and allies, but unfortunately nobody I’m close to in my department is able to help me right now (they’ve tried), and I can’t move to a different department for at least a few months due to quirky hiring practices.

I am expecting. I don’t think I’m so stressed that it’s a problem quite yet. I’ve had one foot out the door until I learned that I wasn’t going to be able to maneuver out of it. It does add to the stress level though, as my sleeping isn’t great and I’m a lot more emotional than I’d normally be. I don’t think I’m completely overracting though-- the rest of the team has expressed similar thoughts.

My thinking right now is that if I’m in, I’m in. I want to make a good contribution. I do need to keep my bounderies, because I have lot going on, but if I’m in this role I need to take ownership of it. But right now I am so full of negativity and resentment about the situation that it’s hard to make that shift. And it’s hard for me to have the conversations that need to be had about working conditions and the like, because I’m just a little to raw to keep a cool head.

9

"I’m reluctant to leave the organization-- it’s a good one and I have a good future here…"

>Promise of a leadership role broken.
>Shunted into routine, unfulfilling work.
>Distanced from potentially valuable networks.
>Emergencies, long hours, disorganization, and micro-management.
>Burdened with stress, living in dread, home life suffering.

Sure doesn’t sound like such a good organization. How are you going to have a future there if the present destroys you? I think it may be helpful to re-evaluate staying, with a hard sober eye to what is realistic to expect.

If you decide to try to tough it out:

>You didn’t create this godawful mess, and you can’t fix it.
>You can’t do your best when the situation is structured so as to make it impossible.
>If they (management, the powers that be, the corporation) don’t care enough to do what’s necessary to alleviate the problems mentioned, you shouldn’t care so much that you have headaches, are about to cry, are seeing other aspects of your life go to hell, etc. You have to care more about your personal mental, emotional, physical, and familial health than about the damn project, or you could end up sacrificing yourself for nothing gained.

My perspective from what I’ve read is that your desired situation – you doing great stuff in the midst of this morass – is essentially impossible. I know from reading your posts over the years that you are a very capable human being and have accomplished much. The problem is that you are a mere human being, and are not capable of accomplishing the impossible.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this, and wish you the best.

10

OK, first are you sure you have a new gig in the Spring? I mean 100% locked, or likely to happen, or just hoping to happen? Makes a world of difference if you have light at the end of the tunnel.

Can you last until maternity leave and then come back to a new gig within the company?

You need to set some boundaries. Can you leave and then pick up when you walk in the door in the morning? Do you have to get on email after hours or just feel like you have to or can you just leave it? Being able to leave the shit behind and pick up again in the morning is priceless.

If you have to get on email, can you have email free evenings at least twice a week so you can check out? At least set the expectation that on Wednesday’s you’re off-line unless it is a true emergency and you get a phone call. No one expects Friday evening on line. Can you stay off line for the weekend, or at least set expectation you won’t be on line until Sunday evening? Getting a pass for being on-line standby after hours is really critical.

Finally, when you walk in that door in the morning, check the emotions aside. Do NOT vent, make snarky comments, make witty comments or anything beyond I’m here for a productive day and dammit that’s what I am delivering. It is really easy to make a negative comment at the wrong time around the wrong person to negatively alter perception. Check that shit before you walk in the door so you don’t fall into that trap.

Been there, done that, and it pretty well sucks. Focus on getting through this patch with a brighter tomorrow

11

I am here to commiserate with you, even sven. I find my situation at work like yours in so many ways; stultifying work, lack of opportunity, no growth potential, isolation from engaging networks, pigeon-holed, skills withering on the vine. I recently applied for a new job in a different dept and was beat-out by a colleague of mine (surprise) also looking to escape those things for better pastures, which has led me to kick myself down even more. I justify maintaining the status quo because I am the breadwinner and the job is stable, pays well, and provides health benefits. The people I work with are good as well, and they like the work I do.

I am going to try and structure the job a bit more to my liking for 2016 as we are just now scoping and funding next year’s work efforts. We have some new management so I am hoping my initiating some changes will be embraced. I think that may be the best way to approach the situation. I think you can try to take control over things you can control, and try to accept the things you cant. I agree setting some boundaries and enforcing them is a good idea - that is an area where you have some control. Treat your situation as a personal project and create a plan - list the problems, set some goals and timelines, and consider creative solutions to the problems you are facing. It’s tough but I am sure you will get thru this rough patch alright (hoping I will, too).

12

That sounds like how I feel at all my jobs and I can’t even get pregnant (because I’m a dude).

I find it’s not so much long hours, deadlines or even travel is that much of an issue. If I need to take some calls or send some emails after 5, that’s hardly a big dead to get worked up over.

But take impossible deadlines and throw in vague scope, lack of stable resources, bullshit internal politics and a job quickly goes from just “a lot of work” to a “hellish nightmare”. It’s the difference between being up all night worrying about what might go wrong on a project and being up all night knowing what WILL go wrong on a project and yet the organization does nothing to empower you to fix it.

In project management circles, it is called a “death march”. A project that everyone knows is destined to fail because they don’t have the necessary tools to make it successful. At my last job, one PM described each project as a “Kobayashi Maru” no-win scenario. That’s because they were typically (under)sold as fixed time/fixed price with a fixed scope. Well, anyone familiar with the Project Management Iron Triangle knows what happens when you fix all three sides.

Alternately, I’ve found the opposite to be equally miserable. I’ve had jobs where there’s no mentorship, no leadership, no relationships with your coworkers, often not even much actual work to do.

My advice is try and find a better job if you can’t find a better group to work for. A lot of these crappy jobs will dangle the promise of “future growth” or “leadership role potential”, all the while placing you in roles that will ultimately make such things impossible.

The people who succeed at work are not the ones who work hardest or “kill it” on the high profile projects. More often, they are the ones who just maintain the steady flow of work. Often know one knows what they do, but they are always busy (but not too busy). They are the ones who get the big promotions after 5 years. Not the ones who hit it out of the park on the big project, only to strike out on the next or the ones who get burned out delivering impossible tasks. The people who succeed tend to know which projects to get on and which ones to avoid (and how to avoid them).

13

Two questions:
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Does the project have a reasonable end date?
What is the probability of success?

I was at a company for a year and a quarter on a very big project. It was making almost no progress, we were expected to eat dinner there and stay 13 hours a day, no one in the company wanted to transfer in and no one was allowed to transfer out. I left the company which was one of the best decisions I ever made. And the product is still hanging on, but has lost the company billions of dollars.

Escape should always be an option.

14

It sounds like you need to learn how to say, “No.” And being pregnant, you have the perfect excuse. When asked to stay late, just say something like, “I’m sorry, I can’t; I mustn’t over-do things, you know.” Of course, make it clear that the issue is the physical - time - challenge, not the mental one.