Advice? My baby is a terrible sleeper

In My Humble Opinion
81

They make bolster style cushions for keeping kids from rolling off the bed: All Archivy - Annie Baby Monitor and http://www.tinybirdsorganics.com/organiccotton/organic-cosleeping-body-pillow.html

They also make bed rails, though they come with dire warnings never to use them with little babies. (The fear being they can create a little gap between the mattress edge and the rail, which can trap and suffocate the baby.) But lots of people use them for cosleeping.

Some people sidecarry the crib: take off one side of the crib, and either strap it to your bed with ties that go between your mattress and boxspring to the opposite side, or wedge it against your bed using a wall or even propping cement blocks against the legs of the crib. Whatever you do, just make sure you’re not leaving any gaps that baby could slip into.

Mentioned above is the snuggle nest type thing: http://www.snugglenest.com/

You can find the snuggle nest and bed rails at consignment stores a lot of the time.

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Thanks, Cinnamon. I’ve been eyeing the furniture and trying to decide if there’s space to wedge the crib in next to the bed, but I’m pretty sure there isn’t. I’ll measure today to be sure.

Oh, and I’m not going to start formula in order to make Nat sleep better. The farthest I’ll go is starting solids a week or two early. Maybe.

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I have to agree that if the painkillers and massage seemed to help, then it does sound like maybe his ears are giving him some trouble. I’d definitely bring that up to the pediatrician. Kids don’t have to have full-blown ear infections for their ears to give them trouble.

Personal anecdote: My daughter (MiniWhatsit) and youngest son (Whatsit the Youngest) both had chronic fluid in their ears, starting practically from birth. With MiniWhatsit, we just let it go, because it was only fluid and didn’t seem to bug her THAT much. Then her preschool teachers noticed that she was slightly speech delayed. It’s cleared up now, after brief speech therapy and a lot of work, but I wish we’d addressed it earlier. With Whatsit the Youngest, based on our experience with his older sister, we (with the blessing of his doctor) saw an ENT fairly early on and got tubes inserted in his ears. He instantly stopped grabbing at his ears all the time and started making more consonant sounds in his babbling.

So anyway, I’m not saying your little one’s ear problems are bad enough to warrant trips to the ENT and tubes and so forth, just that sometimes ears can cause more problems than you might think, even if they’re not technically infected.

We have sidecarred our crib, although I’ll be honest, usually I just use the crib as extra space for me to fling my arm over onto. Usually for naps I either leave the baby monitor next to Whatsit the Youngest and block him with pillows as already mentioned, or I’ll lie down with him on a futon mattress on the floor in our downstairs. (FTR, all of mine have needed someone to hold them or lie down with them to get to sleep as babies. I think it’s more common than not. Whatsit Jr. is 6 now and MiniWhatsit is 4 and they’ve both been going to sleep on their own for years now, so don’t worry, they do grow out of it!)

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Any updates Lissla? Just curious if you’ve seen the pediatrician and if things have gotten any better for you…

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Well, Monday night was horrible. I got a grand total of an hour and a half, baby got maybe six hours. He was rolling and crying and fussing. He’s got some weird kind of constipation I think from the rice cereal :rolleyes:. He had half a teaspoon last week some time. I think that’s what’s been giving him cramps and keeping him from sleeping this week.

The past two days have been pretty okay, although I’ve broken down and am nursing him to sleep and lying with him in bed exclusively. After Monday we’re still recovering sleepwise, and I’d rather he get some sleep than try sleep training on a miserable kid.

We’re off to the doctor in a few minutes, and I’ll see what she says regarding everything. Sigh.

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[QUOTE=Lissla Lissar]
am nursing him to sleep and lying with him in bed exclusively
[/QUOTE]

Maybe I’m clueless, but that right there ^ is how I spent a LOT of my twins’ first year. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it - was I missing something?

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[QUOTE=fessie]
Maybe I’m clueless, but that right there ^ is how I spent a LOT of my twins’ first year. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it - was I missing something?
[/QUOTE]

Ditto. If it works, why mess with it? <– My parenting philosophy in a nutshell.

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Hope you got some answers at your doctor’s visit today!

I only have a bit of advice and echo what’s been said before. I know the lack of sleep is the worst thing (and I’m a narcoleptic on top!) about being the parent to a wee one.

Credentials: 18 month old daughter.
Book: Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady’s Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep, and Wake up Happy

We read ‘Happiest Baby on the Block’, ‘No Cry Sleep Solution’, checked some out from the library and the one mentioned above was our favorite method. Since I was a SAHM I was determined to get our daughter on some type of nap/sleep schedule. From day 1 we wanted to get her established with rituals. It was tough through some of those marathon cry sessions, my hubby said I had nerves of steel, it worked eventually. This book was a great compromise between the cry it out and no-cry solutions.

I had a friend who’s child cried nearly non-stop and everyone told her it was colic, but she felt it was something more. Turned out he had reflux and enlarged tonsils, but he was too young to do anything about the tonsils. (He’d stop breathing in his sleep sometimes and thus wouldn’t fall into a deep sleep.)

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My thoughts (I have two kids, one of which was a rough sleeper that’s almost four now)…

  1. You need a set schedule. This should be agreed on by mommy and daddy and committed to paper. It should include details like meal times and bedtime routine. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this. For example, say 1st nap time is at 9:00 - then the schedule should specify - 9:00 go into room and read/bounce/whatever - 9:15 put in crib - 11:00 take out of crib. This is the most important thing!

  2. It sounds like your baby needs more food. Start by picking a time about a half hour before nap time starts. Put him in a bouncy seat, and spoon feed him very watery rice cereal. He may not take much at first, but try everyday.

  3. I don’t want to piss off the co-sleep people, but I think this may be detrimental. With both of my children, we had hours of awake time every day to cuddle (along with a random nap time on the couch). Building consistent sleep habits starts early, and do you really want to teach him that it’s impossible to fall asleep without a mommy or daddy sleeping next to him? You won’t when he’s 4 and kicking everyone in his sleep - especially since he’s already a tricky sleeper! Plus, and I speak from experience, when dealing with a demanding baby, it is very important that mom and dad have their own space carved out that can be theirs together.

Good luck - and remember…

All too soon you’ll be dealing with a sullen teenager!! :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

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[QUOTE=Sateryn76]

  1. I don’t want to piss off the co-sleep people, but I think this may be detrimental. With both of my children, we had hours of awake time every day to cuddle (along with a random nap time on the couch). Building consistent sleep habits starts early, and do you really want to teach him that it’s impossible to fall asleep without a mommy or daddy sleeping next to him? You won’t when he’s 4 and kicking everyone in his sleep - especially since he’s already a tricky sleeper! Plus, and I speak from experience, when dealing with a demanding baby, it is very important that mom and dad have their own space carved out that can be theirs together.
    [/QUOTE]

You’re not pissing me off, but you are overgeneralizing from your own experience. :slight_smile: We’ve coslept with all three of ours, and trust me, we’ve had plenty of alone time with each other sans baby. Also, the older two moved out into their own beds with a minimum of fuss sometime between age 1 and 2. (Whatsit the Youngest is only 13 months old.) No 4-year-olds kicking us in their sleep.

As far as teaching the baby how to sleep or whatever… I don’t know, I’ve seen a lot of these types of threads here and elsewhere over the years and there is a fairly common pattern of parents of young infants saying, “My baby won’t sleep and nothing is working - except, well, sleeping next to the baby, but I don’t think we’re supposed to do that…” Well, crap, if it’s working and everyone is getting sleep and happy, who cares? There is this pervasive idea that if you ever let your child sleep in bed next to you, you will wind up with a kindergartener in your bed some day that will not ever know how to sleep on his own. This really isn’t the case, and if your 5-month-old wants to go to sleep being held by or sleeping next to Mom or Dad, I think that’s really okay and isn’t going to lead him into a lifetime of bad sleep habits.

Hey, where did this soapbox come from, and why am I standing on it? Ahem.

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Doctor thinks he’s not teething (since, you know, know teeth have come in in the week since we went to the clinic), and that he’s probably had a bit of a tummy virus. She’d like me to re-start cereal, since he’s might be hungry at night due to being huge. She also suggests that we keep him up for longer before bedtime.

The problem with nursing him to sleep for every nap is spending, oh, upwards of an hour with him at every nap or bedtime- equalling upwards of five hours a day. Not that I don’t like sleeping, but I don’t want to be lying down quite that much. I did enjoy the short span during which he would put himself to sleep.
See above regarding sleep scheduling and CIO. We live in a one-bedroom apartment with helpful wall-banging neighbours. I can only do a very limited amount of CIO due to someone banging on the bedroom wall after more than half an hour’s crying.

We do have a bedtime routine, but it’s hard to set a schedule when you have no idea when your child will get up. Today, for instance, I got up at four-thirty after Nat spent a merry half hour rolling around and talking. I should now insist he wait until 8, his normal (sort of) first naptime? That doesn’t seem reasonable.

Typos are due to getting up at four.

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I have no more advice except deep sympathy. I also remember my now nearly 12 year old as a newborn. I read my way through all of the works of Jane Austen as he snorkled away stuck to my boob. I remember one night in the wee hours working out that he has just spent 8 of the last 24 hours stuck onto one nipple or the other. I wanted to scream.

It did get better fairly quickly. I can’t remember now exactly how it went, but by six months we were definitely in a sustainable routine.

One thing I do remember is wanting to deck anyone else who touched me during those months! I was absolutely “touched out” and my idea of luxury was a few hours of sleep ALONE with my boobs firmly tethered in my pyjamas!

It WILL pass… Keep on keeping on.

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[QUOTE=Lissla Lissar]
She’d like me to re-start cereal, since he’s might be hungry at night due to being huge. She also suggests that we keep him up for longer before bedtime.
[/QUOTE]

Is there a particular reason - besides tradition - that she’s insistent on rice cereal, specifically? The reason I ask it that it’s really not very nutritious (it’s not far off from fortified library paste), and if it *might *be bothering him, there are a ton of other foods out there to try. One of my favorites for first foods is avocado - it can be mashed very smooth with just a fork, and it has just a ton of good fats, which are both filling and good for brain/eye development. If it becomes a familiar food when they’re itty-bitty, it’s easy to smoosh chunkier and then to cube as they grow and are able to handle more texture - but it’s still the same taste they already like.

Check with your doctor, of course. But I find rice cereal is just the default recommendation because it’s easy and mostly hypoallergenic (and also because it contains added iron - but it contains it in a form which often causes stomach upset, ironically enough), not because there’s some sacred reason rice cereal has to be in your infant’s diet.

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Hmm. Would sweet potato or squash be another possibility? I think we can get better sweet potatoes around here right now than avocadoes.

I think she recommended it mostly because it’s hypoallergenic, added iron, etc. It didn’t sound much more nutritionally dense than breastmilk, so I was wondering how it would help him sleep longer.

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[QUOTE=Lissla Lissar]
Hmm. Would sweet potato or squash be another possibility? I think we can get better sweet potatoes around here right now than avocadoes.

I think she recommended it mostly because it’s hypoallergenic, added iron, etc. It didn’t sound much more nutritionally dense than breastmilk, so I was wondering how it would help him sleep longer.
[/QUOTE]

My doctor recommended rice cereal 32 years ago, the reason being that it is hypoallergenic, and while nutritionally no big deal, it “sticks to their ribs” and gives them a feeling of fullness. My giant baby (20 lbs at 4 months) immediately started sleeping better and longer.

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[QUOTE=Lissla Lissar]
Hmm. Would sweet potato or squash be another possibility? I think we can get better sweet potatoes around here right now than avocadoes.

I think she recommended it mostly because it’s hypoallergenic, added iron, etc. It didn’t sound much more nutritionally dense than breastmilk, so I was wondering how it would help him sleep longer.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, babies LOVE sweet potatoes! And squash is good, too. Both much more nutrient-dense than rice cereal. And neither one is a common allergen.

I’m not sure I buy the “cereal helps them sleep longer” notion, honestly. I think there’s a lot of confirmation bias going on - parents who note when they sleep longer after eating, and when they don’t sleep longer after eating, it gets explained away as something woke them. In reality, sleep cycles just aren’t that regular for most babies and some variation is bound to happen - they might not have slept longer because of the cereal, but just because they slept longer.

Note: If it works for your baby, great! Don’t question it, it worked! But it doesn’t always, or even most of the time, IME.

Most of the rice cereal passes through undigested. You can tell because the increase in stool volume is pretty darn identical to the volume of cereal that went in. According to my Nutrition teacher, the small intestine of an infant isn’t long enough to digest cereal grains until about 2 (but she also had this thing about cow’s milk, so she might have been crazy…). I think the theory is “stuff 'em full like a Thanksgiving dinner and they’re bound to get sleepy”…except that most babies won’t overeat, so that doesn’t make sense.

The “danger” (albeit small) to offering something as nutritionally devoid as rice cereal is that it takes up feeding time and energy that could be devoted to more nutrient dense foods. Just like we’re told to cut out the empty calories, I don’t see why babies need empty calories. I also don’t want my babies getting a taste for bland starches - I’d rather introduce them to flavorful foods earlier - I think it cuts down on pickiness. But that’s just me and my whacky radical notions.

Hey, MsWhatsit, did you leave this soapbox here? :smiley:

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If you can’t abide laying with him for that many hours, then why not pump and bottle feed? Is he old enough to hold a bottle? Or is that more an 8-month-old skill? Can you watch TV while he’s nursing (I set mine to closed-captioning so I could turn the volume off).

This too shall pass, it’s true.

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Right now he needs a pretty dark room and no distractions to fall asleep, otherwise it’s “ooh! Shiny!”

Won’t really take a bottle well, and it definitely doesn’t make him sleepy. He wants boob and cuddling, dammit, Mom!

Going to go look at the sweet potatoes and avocadoes. I’d rather feed him real food than tasteless goop. All hail WhyNot! :smiley:

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The Nephew loved his mashed potato; he also liked his grandma’s pureed veggies better than the bottled ones.

Mom kept turning me side-up because otherwise I could die in my sleep, so of course I’d get awake again when I was almost in zZzland. She also put up with me crying for one hour after waking up because it wasn’t “my feeding time” yet. It’s a good thing the doctor told her to stop trying to raise a kid she didn’t have and start raising the one she did have, otherwise she might have ended up in the front page for babyslaughter…

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I suggested bananas a while back - at our house they’re magic sleepytime food. All four of us eat them before bedtime some nights, they really do help.