Here’s some real advice. Go for it and see how you feel.
Sexuality and gender aren’t about who has what parts. It’s pheromones and smells. A pre-op transwoman who’s been on the hormones for a few years should cause you to physically react as if she were a woman.
If a woman with a penis will freak you out, hey, you gave it a shot, now you know. Hell, you’ve been celibate 20 years and you have a paddle. Try to have some frickin’ fun.
I’m speaking as a lesbian who can’t date pre- or post-op transmen because they’re MEN, but who is attracted to really masculine women. So. Go see.
Well you have an excellent opportunity to be a nice person.
Be polite, honest, careful and communicative and you should be fine. Treat her like a human being because that’s who she is. Just be honorable and you really can’t go wrong.
What a bizarrely over-the-top accusation. This guy has been celibate for years, finds himself in a situation where he may date a pre-OP transgendered woman, and he has some apprehensions. You think the only person who would have any questions at all—about any of this—is an inconsiderate two-pump chump?
Give him some credit. Despite what I think of the OP (dude—don’t mention fat women. Why would you? What’s the benefit of doing that? How do you know she didn’t once outweigh you by 100 lbs?), he’s trying to approach this thoughtfully.
Q: What do you call a guitarist with no girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Thank you. She and I are not even talking about sex at this point, and actual sex is not even an issue for me right now, and isn’t even currently an option (unless we go anal).
Yeah, I understand how the “fat women” thing is potentially objectionable. But the rest of y’all don’t live in my town. I’ve connected with a bunch of my high school classmates (from the 1980s) via Facebook, and, wow. Even my two younger sisters. Age 30 arrives and … boom. My sisters are 47 and 37, and both of them outweigh me. The 47-year-old at least has the “childbirth” excuse, except her youngest child was born 14 years ago. My “baby” sister is still single, and she seems to be going out of her way to make herself unattractive to men, and just gets bigger and bigger, and cropping her hair, and dyeing it blue … all the while denying being a lesbian whilst shouting ultra-conservative Christian mantras. Both of them were (from an objective, non-incestuous viewpoint) “hot” when they were in their teens and 20s.
I’m almost 50, and I’ve dropped 60 pounds (while working in my career as a professional chef) since realizing I was overweight. Why can’t these women? I just had to stop shoveling shit into my face to drop from 225 to 165.
And, no, she (my potential girlfriend) was never fat. She wore spandex while drumming in LA metal bands in the '80s. She’s quite fit.
Except my entire job is to cook food. And sample it. And I know when the fuck to stop sampling. I recognized when I had gotten fat, and fucking did something about it.
