We had a talk, I laid out house rules, she agreed she’s a shithead (and also that’s she’s severely depressed) and that she had to contribute. I said if she was going to act like an irresponsible kid, I was going to act like mom. Then I made her clean the apartment to my satisfaction, do her laundry, and take a shower. She also did some spontaneous cleaning after that. She left to visit my parents (and left the apartment clean, dishes done) before Thanksgiving and isn’t back yet… when she comes back she needs to get a job and pay rent.
I forgot to mention in my OP that the only way she makes money is by performing at all these events she attends (no, not stripping thank god) and she’s building a reputation and marketing herself - she’s trying to line up jobs for the next month whenever she’s out at a festival etc. So far, while she’s doing better at it than I would ever expect (she’s talented too) it’s not a real job. She’s at the point where she’s invited to attend events for free to perform, and travel expenses are mostly paid, but actual income is only a couple hundred bucks cash if that (plus she keeps on having problems with being promised money and then the damn hippies don’t come through with cash until much later if at all), and she’s lucky to get a couple paying gigs per month. An actual job in our area will curtail her flexibility to go to events to perform and increase demand, but if she’s not making enough performing that she can pay me rent, tough titty - she needs to work and make money. And anyway, she seems extremely conflicted about whether she’s even comfortable making a living as a performer - she’s not exactly someone who has ever craved attention, and what she’s gotten so far is freaking her out, a lot.
I’m okay with kicking her out if she doesn’t get her act together soon. While her life is in turmoil as a transient and it’s stressful for her, she’s not starving or anything and ATM she’s not abusing drugs and alcohol to the point where I’m worried for her life. She has 1 million friends, there’s always couches to stay on (however, those couches are often owned by drug addicts, etc). My mom won’t enable her much. If that’s the only life she can make for herself, that’s what she’s going to have to live. She won’t have to go to a homeless shelter. She will have to live day-to-day with a bunch of other annoying hippies/bums. Oh well.
She’s my baby sister and I’ve been horrifically depressed and a bum just like she is* so I have empathy, but I am at heart an intolerant hardass who hates living with people, plus I have my boyfriend to make sure my head is screwed on straight here - he isn’t too keen on sis, her lifestyle, or her friends. He knows I want to help her, but neither of us are willing to sacrifice much to do so.
*and I’m someone who pretty much turned my life around in the last 6 years: got jobs, moved out of my parents, paid my bills with no assistance, met my boyfriend who is awesome, got a lot happier, and became a fairly responsible person. If I can do it, she can too - she might not be ready to right now though.