I’ve got a bit of a problem with my niece being racist.
I collected my niece (who is 9) from school today, and on the way to her home we talked, an early subject of conversation brought up by her was how white skin is superior and that whites seem to be better than other colours. I asked her how she came by that and she said it was documentaries. I pointed out that while white skin is an evolutionary advantage up here in Scotland for vitamin D, black skin is an evolutionary advantage in Africa to guard against sunburn. This killed the topic for her. Now, she’s 9, old enough to know better, so she may have been doing it on purpose to see how I reacted, and we know she can be manipulative. She is also rather spoiled by her parents (dammit, that’s MY job!) I made sure to mention the incident to my sister-in-law and she will take it further.
I’d be asking where she was watching these “documentaries” she mentioned. If her parents or schoolteachers are showing her these things, then you’ve got a hard road ahead of you. If her FRIENDS are showing her these things, all you can do is provide a calm reality check and hope that she grows up and gets a better class of friend.
I’m not an expert or anything, but it seems she’s old enough that you can be honest. Tell her how much racism sucks. Maybe show her a different documentary about the terrible things people have done to one another because of racism. Make her understand there are real-world consequences to thinking the way she does.
Yep. Definitely discuss it. My son came home from school once, when he was 7, and said the word “darkie”. There was also a comment about behavior. I asked him where he had heard the word (school). I then talked with him about the term NOT being ok, that it wasn’t true that skin color determined behavior, and generally stomped all over it. We talked about racism at a high level, and how it wasn’t good. I then blew his little mind by pointing out that he was a “darkie” by some standards, being of mixed race. (This last bit might not help the OP.) It never happened again.
In general, discuss the topic, why you think it’s wrong, and try to do it without getting too emotional. You want her to feel comfortable bringing future issues to you. And remember that your example, your behavior, will help.
It may be a matter of seeing that she’s getting lots of information about the many Good and Great Things done by white people but not so much about those done by other races. The kids in The Nephew’s class were a bit confused by this at one point; those who had relatives most likely to give straightforward answers polled said relatives and reached the conclusion that it’s mostly a matter of “we just talk more about our neighbors than about people Elsewhere”.
I would encourage her to do do what you did - ask questions. Like how was this (or any other) conclusion arrived at. That way she can learn to debunk stuff for herself. That can be dangerous of course, since the people who dispense this kind of [del]wisdom[/del] bilge can get a tad defensive when they’re logically backed up into a corner.
I once had a four year boy tell me “All girls are stupid.” I asked him if I was stupid, if his mother was stupid, if his aunt was stupid, if his grandmother was stupid, if every female in his family was stupid." Then I asked him if he still believed that “all girls were stupid” and he said “NO” and then laughed at such foolishness.
Two weeks later he told me “Today Teddy said all girls are stupid and I told him if he says that, it means he’s stupid.”
Ask her if any people of color she knows are inferior.
Be careful here. If she says “yes, because…” you’d better be able to argue against this. Everybody’s different, with different abilities. A not-so-good student in their class may have an older sibling who’s brilliant.
I remember hearing children scornfully telling their younger siblings that they were stupid since they didn’t do multiplication yet. I wrote some algebra problems on the board and asked if the older kids could do them. No. I explained their younger siblings just hadn’t gotten to multiplication yet, just as they hadn’t learned algebra yet.
You might dig up some 18th-century English discussions of Scots and show what racism looks like outside of a skin-colour context. I don’t think 9 is too young to understand that racism is part political.
No doubt. I was teaching my son it’s okay to be gay (or any type of minority) since he was a young boy.
Unfortunately, sometimes when I’m walking past his bedroom, I can hear him calling his buddies that he games with a “homo”. I wish he wouldn’t do that, but still, I think he get’s the idea not to be an outright dick to people who are different than him.
[My evidence for him “getting it” is he will often bring up topical news subjects where he is easily able to point out who the “dicks” are. Like racists, anti Muslims, gay bashers, etc…]
Missed edit window. Have counter-examples ready of people of color who excel in the areas she thinks such people are inferior.
And definitely find out what “documentaries” she’s talking about. Although I’m reminded of a scene from Family Guy in which Peter said he’d read something in a book.
Brian: “Are you sure it was a book, Peter? Are you sure it wasn’t nothing?”