Advise Please on Teenager and Cigarettes

[SumLurker]

GAH! If only mom had a bit more foresight…i’d have been a rich kid!

Pardon me whilst i hurl…

My apologies for the utter un-helpfulness of this, it was mainly for the benefit of Sapphire Wolf and me.
:eek:

[DreadCthulhu]

Chain him in the basement for a month or so, to break the addiction. Also, make sure to watch out for those sniveling “Child Protection” services, they tend to think this is cruel. But I say letting your kid get addicted to something that causes cancer is far crueler indeed.

[Guinastasia]

When my dad found out I had been smoking with a friend (I was fourteen), he told me, up front, if I wanted to smoke, I could go right ahead and do so.

But I better not ever ask for any money-for lunch, for clothes, for anything.

I had already decided not to smoke, anyways, but that would have made me stop. (It was awful-how anyone can stick with it long enough to get addicted is beyond me…my throat was on fire…)

[RickJay]

There must be SOME way to keep your kids from smoking, because I never smoked, and neither did my sister. Even though our parents smoked like chimneys.

Unfortunately, I don’t exactly know what it was that they did.

[Burnt_Sugar]

I am looking at this from the POV of being only a few years older than him (19), and what would certainly work for me if I was doing something my parents didn’t like.

I was going to say what Manda JO said. Take something away from him that he likes more than he likes cigarettes. Taking away his money is perfect. For it to work you must not back down on anything.

You don’t even have to make his lunch for him. He is 16, he can make his own lunch. His punishment shouldn’t cause more work for you in any way!

If he ends up getting a job and paying for a car, it would have to be something else you take away/ don’t give him (etc). You could make him pay lots of board money that you put away for when he is older and more sensible.

[Othersider]

*Originally posted by manwithaplan *
I would be surprised if there was a parent in history who managed to stop a teenager smoking. He might give up now or in a few years, he might be a lifelong smoker - there’s little you can do about it.

That’s pretty much what I’ve surmised from watching some of my friends smoking when we were in high school…even at this early age, kids are quite resourceful. If he’s determined to smoke, he’s going to find a way. The only thing you can really do is voice your dissention and refuse to support his habit…like the following…

*Originally posted by Manda JO *
**Every kid is different, of course, but you might try this:

Sit him down.

Tell him that you know you can’t stop him from smoking.

Tell him that you can’t stand the thought of helping him kill himself.

So you’re not gonna pay for it. Period.

Then stop giving him money. And I mean completely. He needs clothes? If he has a job, make him buy his own. If he dosen’t, you have a responsibility to clothe him, so take him shopping, DON"T give him cash. Don’t give him gas money or the gas card, ever. Don’t give him lunch money (buy sandwitch stuff). If he gets an allowance, cut it off. Don’t pay him to mow the lawn. Pay the neighbor boy instead. If he has a job, don’t drive him there. If he has a car, don’t pay for anything on it–every penny you spend on the car is a penny he turns around and spends on ciggarettes.

If he asks about “how long”, say "This isn’t like being grounded, honey. It isn’t a punishment. I’m not trying to change you. YOu’re too old for that. It’s just that I can’t stand to help you kill yourself. "

You have to decide what to do when he lies and says that he quit smoking–which he will do.

Even if this doesn’t stop him completely, it will slow him down: he can only bum so long before it gets to be seriously uncool. And it will ease your conscience: you WON"T be contributing. **

Lots of good ideas here. There’s not a 100% chance that he’ll realize the error of his ways and try to change, but it’s possible. And if his life is a living hell because of the habit, it might compel him to change. But as we said, since you can’t be around him 24/7, if he’s REALLY determined to smoke, for one reason or another, he’s going to.