My 13-yr-old son (actually, stepson, and, yes, it does matter) was caught with a pack of cigarettes a couple of months ago. He admitted they were his. He had gotten some older guy to buy them (a big thank you, dickhead) for him. My wife only meted out a 2-week “no phone” punishment. I thought it should have more severe, but I let her handle it. Today, he admits that he smoked again. She gives him a 1-week punishment. Taking away the phone seems to be the only punishment that affects him. He couldn’t care less about losing TV, videogame, or stereo priveleges.
I’m trying to stay as neutral as I can here for fear of attempting to come between a mother and her son. I love the kid as much as if he were my own, but I don’t really think the punsihment is severe enough. I’ve always believed the punishment should NOT fit the crime, it should deter future reoccurences of the crime.
I try to tell him how stupid smoking is and how his friends are losers for smoking. I try to do this in a way that he doesn’t go out and smoke (or worse) out of spite. It doesn’t seem to sink in.
If there is a third time (and, unfortunately, I believe there will be), what should I do?
Stripping his room of anything remotely entertaining and open-ended phone restriction WILL be part of it. I am considering the old “let’s go visit some people dying og lung cancer” bit.
I would really appreciate some advice here.