Filed under “Least surprising thing I have read all week”.
I think this is the best way to handle it. Not making judgment on what it is/could be, but simply giving the additional symptoms you’ve observed as the person who lives with him - you are questioning the disease and its effects, not your husband - and stay focused on that. Getting more information to help both of you cope together is a good thing and if you take that attitude, it may be less threatening to your husband.
I appreciate all of you who took time to respond. I did go along for his appointment yesterday. We learned that he does not have Type II Diabetes, he has Type I, which I didn’t even realize one could acquire as an adult.
It explains why none of the changes in treatment helped, they weren’t treating the right thing.
He also accepted a prescription for a sleeping pill, something to which he’s been very resistent. He hasn’t had any kind of normal sleep schedule for ages. Did I already mention that upthread? Even if he only takes it for a week, if he could get into a rhythm of sleeping through the night I think it would help him tremendously. When the doctor said she was writing a prescription for one he said “I really don’t like the idea of sleeping pills” she said “I don’t like prescribing them, but you really need it!” She wants him to keep a sleep log and said she won’t refill it untill she’s seen him again.
Now that I’ve met the doctor I feel more comfortable about possibly calling her. He is so noticably relieved to a) not have liver cancer (I didn’t mention that as a concern, but some earlier test showed a “shadow” on his liver. Results from an MRI that we got yesterday indicate that it’s not cancer) and b) have a diagnosis that explains why the medicines he was taking weren’t helping that things have already improved.
Thanks all for “listening”
That might be a bigger help than he realizes right now. Disordered sleep not only screws you up mentally in all sorts of ways, it’s also very bad for diabetes control.
I don’t have diabetes, but about three years ago now I was having terrible problems with insomnia. I was sleeping about four hours every third night, it was horrible. I knew exactly what was causing the problem, but there was no instant cure. I used a “sleeping aid” for three weeks, under doctor supervision, which made me a functional human being again and allowed me to FIX the problem that was screwing with my sleep in the first place. After which I didn’t require any pharmaceutical aids for sleeping anymore. Properly used, they can be a very useful tool.
Of course, your husband’s situation is different than mine, but until we gets his health straightened out a little help getting proper rest might do him a world of good. I like the fact the doctor is monitoring how he does on the pill, and won’t automatically renew the prescription. Sounds like she’s interested in really fixing problems and not just throwing drugs at the symptoms.
If you are concerned that your doctor isn’t getting the whole story,
make notes to yourself, and, before going into the doctor’s office with your husband, print them out on a computer, in bulleted points, with a large font. Your doctor may be used to tuning out ramblings of family members, or patients. If he has a note, with your concerns, and a plea for confidentiality written on it in front of him, he should take the appropriate measures.
Best wishes,
hh
Hi,
I’m glad you know what is going on now. It is so hard to treat people who are resistant to change or don’t want to take medicine. He does sound depressed. Hopefully he is sleeping now and his diabetes is under control. Take care
Glad you feel on a better track now, and hope this makes a huge difference. If it doesn’t, though, please see if your husband will consider counseling. A therapist will be able to diagnose him, and treat whatever is going on.