Ag: The Return

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Who are you people :confused:

Moxmaiden doesn’t even carry a purse!

She carries a HUGE FREAKING BACKPACK that is heavy as all hell and is a cheap piece of crap that Hewlett Packard gave away at some event and she got third hand from a cousin. The straps are so short and small that keeping it on your actual back requires constant adjustment. Plus she puts things like bottles of ice water in it so they jab through the cheap ass non-padded back and into your kidneys/ribs at inopportune times. Damn right I wouldn’t mind if someone else carried that damn thing occasionally!

Enjoy,
Steven
Yes, I know I was supposed to plan an even for last weekend. Mea Culpa. We’ve had some craziness at home with the garage door breaking and working with our landlord on our lease renewal for the next year plus some craziness at work. Plus I didn’t want poor Lord Jim to feel conflicted between a DFW event and the Alamodopefest. Moxmaiden was pretty annoyed with me and she said I better get to plannin something to make up for it really soon.

22

Hey this sounds interesting and fun, for some at least. And you can certainly do more than just hold my backpack, Ag. I likes me some younger men! :wink: :wink:

23

Especially when they’ll go shoe shopping. Stupid pink sandals.

24

Hey, yeah. I need some new walking shoes and Mtgman never goes shopping with me. Oh, and now thanks to this thread here I am going to need a new bra. Do you help with kids or do you just hold things?

Thanks! :smiley:

25

The True Story of What Happened Last Night. ™

Aglarond enters Grace’s apartment.

Grace: Wow. You are such a sizzlin’ hot piece of man meat.

Aglarond: I know. Can’t help it.

Grace: Hold my purse!

Ellie: No, hold mine!

Aglarond: Hey. Stop gettin’ so grabby. There’s plenty of me to go around. Except for my shoulders. Those are reserved.

Rips off tear-away shirt to reveal tatoo “Reserved by Moxmaiden” and two arrows pointing to the shoulders.

Ellie: Where’d you get those bulging muscles?

Aglarond: Carrying purses, like a real man. Wait. That didn’t sound right.

Grace: Take me…

Aglarond: OK

Grace: …to dinner now!

Aglarond: Oh.

Grace: Seriously. I’m hungry. And we’ve been waiting 30 minutes.

Aglarond: Bring me another tear-away shirt. You know what. Grab a spare. And some pants, too. Just in case.

Later. At the restaraunt.

Grace: You are such an interesting conversationalist. I wish I could stop staring at your body long enough to hear everything you’re saying.

Aglarond: Yeah. I get that alot.

Ellie: It’s not every day a woman gets to eat at a place as nice as Bennigan’s.

Aglarond: Anything for the ladies.

Grace: Tell us more about telecommunications. blushes

Cut out due to graphic nature of call distribution discription. Rated NC-17

Brenda and Ellie both about to collapse and trying to catch their breaths

Ellie: Oh I love it when you talk telecom.

Grace: You’ve made me so hot I need to cool down with some ice cream.

Aglarond: Follow me.

To be continued…

26

If they’re less than 18 months, I can make them go to sleep. After that I’m kinda iffy. Have to start using Nyquil and Tylenol PM.

27

Ag is back! Beer and goats all around!

Oh, yeah–lieu has been handling the potty posts in your absence, if you want to start catching up. :stuck_out_tongue:

28

Hey Balance. I’ll have to catch up on that. Haven’t discussed ‘Oreo shits’ in a while. Hmmmm…

29

Two words for Mike…

Spell Check!

For balance, hey!!! Where have you been? Our dopefest notes have been a bit on the skimpy (not to mention fictional) side lately. We miss you . . . and your little tablet too!

30

I misspelled three frickin’ words. And you’re one to talk.

31

Muwhahahahaha! Shoe shopping with Moxmaiden. You have NO idea! We’ll save you a seat on the “worn down, used up, and thrown away” bench.

Enjoy,
Steven

32

That would have been so much funnier if you had rated the cut part “OC-17”.

Enjoy,
Steven

33

I’ve been around, but busy. I’ve been gaming more, and I’m putting together a D&D campaign. When I get it ready, I’ll put the background online somewhere and see if any of the DFW Dopers want to play–I know Ziactrice mentioned a game at ConDFW.

34

Dang it. I wish I’d thought of that, though I think only 2 or 3 of us would have found it funny. Maybe one more than got the “interrupting coefficient of friction” joke. :smiley:

35

μ

36

You got tatooed for me? Oh, what a guy!

Oh and stop all that geek talk! Now! Or there will be consequences!

:eek: :wink:

Melissa

37

The True Story of What Happened Last Night. ™
Part the Second

Inside Baskin Robins

Aglarond: Anything up to one scoop for the ladies.

Grace: I want chocolate.

Ellie: I want some pink crap with sprinkles on it.

Aglarond: And one scoop chocolate chip cookie dough.

Ellie: Oooh. That’s such a manly ice cream.

Grace: Now we can cool down by stripping and rubbing this ice cream all over our bodies.

They proceed to do so

Cashier: Sir? Sir?!

Aglarond: Huh? What?

Cashier: That’ll be $7.49.

Aglarond: Uh, ok. Looks over at the girls What’s up with the clothes?

Ellie: What about them?

Aglarond: I could have sworn they were off a minute ago.

Grace: You can say that in about half an hour.

Aglarond: Go me! Cashier slips me her number Everybody wants some Ag lovin’.
I don’t remember what happened the rest of the night. I shouldn’t have had one of Grace’s patented Roofie Shakes. I wonder what’s in those things.