One that was running in our area earlier this year had a lady saying something to the effect of “We were ready for a change, but selling a house is such a hassle!” 
Most people needing a change find that rearranging the furniture, and maybe splurging on a new rug or some fresh paint, does the trick.
Where I live, one of those cash offers will most likely end up with a single-family house being torn down and replaced with a two family. A vacant lot in my neighborhood would be around $300K if you could find one.
There’s one around here called “John Buys Bay Area Houses.” Except that the fast-talking, mush-mouthed pitchman always pronounced it “John Buys Barry Houses.”
Somebody must have convinced him to re-record the commercial and he does a little better, but it’s still kind of like “John Buys Byarya Houses.”
The local Asshole “Let me give you half what your house is worth” guy on TV looks like he’s about 19, has wrinkled shitty cloths and hair that has never seen a comb.
Yeah, I wanna do business with this clown.
We looked into the “We Buy Houses” people to sell our house a few years ago. We had so many unfinished projects that we didn’t think we could show it in a regular sell. (We had bare concrete floors, one bathroom had no fixtures, the kitchen was extremely dated, it needed new paint everywhere, etc.) We had already moved into a new house, so it was empty.
Similar comps for a 3-2 in the area (if our house was remodeled) were about $200-$220k. We Buy Houses offered us $89k. We had even tossed in all the stuff we had to update things! (A new bathroom vanity, lighting, fixtures, a sink for the garage laundry area.)
Our realtor for the new house convinced us to let her try to sell it as-is. The buyers sort of got into a bidding war, and we sold it for $145k. Profit!
They flipped it and sold it for $239k.
The annual Christmas tree commercials have started.
Old Navy is already running ads with cleverly 
reworded Christmas songs, my absolutely least favorite commercial genre. It’s going to be a long holiday season.
Has there ever been a non-nauseating Old Navy ad?
God, those are tedious commercials. The original songs are already overplayed enough.
There is no punishment severe enough for the person who came up with “yabba-dabba-fruity-licious-doo.” 
Something like this probably only bothers me but Babbel has an ad of a women bravely ordering food in some southern Hispanic country in Spanish. A native girl is floored by this woman’s ability to speak a language she, the little girl, has spoken all her life and says-- in English-- that Babbel is like a teacher on her phone. Babbel’s pitch is pretty much “It’s the friends you make a long the way” by learning a different language, but SHE DIDN’T USE A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE TO MAKE THE FRIEND! The little girl is awed by this white lady’s ability to stumble through one sentence in Spanish. It is just so patronizing, I can’t stand it!!!
Like Phil learning piano in Groundhog Day, a kid practises sign language until he can sign to the hearing impaired girl at school and share his candy bar. Such a sweet vignette. I hate it.
I just saw a commercial for Humana that starts off with a decent premise and then steps all over it. There’s a room full of similarly looking older women with grey hair and track suits on. One says to other, “Is it me, or does everyone auditioning for this healthcare commercial look alike.”
“Well, that’s how insurance companies all see us … except for Humana.”
Yada, yada, yada …
“You’re right, Humana is the balls. Let’s all get out of here girls.” And they all march out.
What, they don’t they gig? Did they all just decide they don’t want to be actresses at once? I’m betting the one making the Humana speech comes back and rings the role.
Reminds me of the Barney Miller episode where a guy had a meltdown because of a pickle ad in which the product was described as “crun-crun-crunchalicious”. (and, later, ko-ko-kosherific)
mmm
You mean the one where he asks her if she likes chocolate, but then gives her a Hershey bar? Yeah, that’s a mean trick to pull on her. Give her some quality chocolate, dammit!
Seeing these ads is especially irritating when you’re watching a baseball game. Can’t they wait until the World Series is over?
I finally saw the Lume crotch stink commercial tonight (3x!! 
) that a Pit thread is about. I really don’t need to hear someone talking about how much their butt crack stinks. (Literally those are the words used in the commercial.)
What gets me in these commercials is how do they quantify the amount that the stink goes down? Just like in the teeth whitening ads that promise 3 shades whiter- what the heck is a shade and how is it measured?
When I had to have a crown done, my dentist had a set of “samples” so he could most closely match my teeth coloration; so I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there is some standardization in shading.
I have no doubt that there is significant standardization in tooth shading, they take great pains to make sure cosmetic dentistry looks right.
I am rather more skeptical of butt crack smell standardization.