POOPH!
(this is a complete sentence, goddamn it, Discourse)
Is this the one where the girl looks like the Lucille Ball statue in this thread? One, she looks familiar. Is she known outside of this weird commercial? And, two-- what the hell is this commercial saying? I don’t understand it at all.
Something about this commercial that glossed over me. The whole raison d’etre for the commercial is, “now we slice our meats fresh!” Which means for the last few decades your Subway sandwich featured meat that was processed, frozen, thawed, sliced, frozen, shipped, and thawed. No wonder their sandwiches always tasted like shit.
They haven’t shown it in decades, but the Slinky commercial keeps popping into my mind. 
For fun it’s a wonderful toy
Um… As opposed to a mediocre toy?
It’s likely the same meat, just thawed and sliced in store. Cuts out one freezing/thawing cycle, at least.
Say, kids! Is it rainy out?
Yeahhhh…
You can’t play frisbee or stickball? Are you feeling like there’s nothing to do today?
Yeahhhh…
Is this the kind of day where you’d be willing to play with a mediocre toy?
I guess…
Well, then, how about a Slinky?
A what…
A SLINKY!
It goes down stairs!
Then what…
Then you take it back up the stairs!
So…
And it goes back down the stairs!
Okay…
Until it gets tangled!
And then you get to bend it while you’re trying to get it untangled!
But before that, you get a whole afternoon of watching it … go down stairs!
Sing it with me, kids:
Slinky, Slinky,
Fun for a girl or a boy!
Slinky, Slinky,
For fun it’s a mediocre toy!
They still do. Well, to be honest, not shit but tasteless, like a bread sandwich. Its the same meats, after all. Bland and boring.
This may not be annoying, but either I am imagining things, or a frequently-running commercial suddenly made a change.
It’s a commercial for Dish; It involves a boy in a Little League uniform watching a TV report on rain, and his grandfather, standing next to the boy’s dad, says, “Want your dad to go out and help you practice your slider?” At least, that’s how I thought I heard it at first, which didn’t make any sense, but now he says, “Practice your sliding.”
I don’t think I’ve seen that one, but either “slider” or “sliding” would make sense in context.
I understand that, but it just didn’t make sense in the context. Maybe you have to see the commercial to understand it better.
I did a little googling and found this: Dish Network TV Spot, 'Reliability Guarantee: Can't Go Out and Play' - iSpot.tv
What doesn’t make sense to me is that if it’s raining, who wants to go outside to practice anything? Why does grandpa even suggest it? Why is the kid so excited about it? He might be, but I’m doubtful. In any case, the practice isn’t going to last long. On the other hand, dad doesn’t look too thrilled. Is dad the son-in-law the father of the wife doesn’t like? How many times has he attacked dad with a remote-control plane?
And why is the kid sitting there watching the freakin’ weather, of all things? If his Little League game has been called because of rain, he’s gonna be inside watching something else.
It’s raining. That usually means everything gets wet - including the ground. Which then… turns muddy. Boom - great for sliding.
My theory: The script writer/produce meant “sliding” all along but thought, “your slider” meant, “sliding.” Someone finally told him and they changed it to save face.
It’s called “moping”. It trumps actually doing something.
Okay, yeah, good point.
Seems to me that if it’s practice, you’d want conditions closer to what you’d have in a real game. But then again, if you want to slide around in mud just because it’s fun to slide around in mud, well, I’ve been there.
Comcast has been running ads touting their “10G network”. 10G! We’re presumably supposed to think that’s twice as good as that 5G technology the cell companies are rolling out. Not exactly. In cell phone terminology 5G means “5th generation network”. Comcast is using 10G to mean “10 gigabits per second”, which it actually slower than the maximum speeds 5G cellular networks are theoretically capable of (although in real world conditions Comcast’s wired network probably is faster). And of course Comcast isn’t exactly being clear about what they actually mean by 10G*; they’re being deliberately misleading.
*There’s probably an asterisk with some fine print stating what it means; I’ll have to pay closer attention the next time I see the ad.
Riding on the wave of Lionel Messi’s arrival in FL, Hard Rock Cafe has introduced the “Messi Burger”.
First, if I’m going to criticize stupidity, I should admit my own initial ignorance; the first couple of times I saw it I didn’t realize that “Lionel” and “Leo” are the same person. I’ve seen footage of him and generally recognize him but groomed and wearing a chef’s jacket threw me.
We have the dramatic music and the scenes of Chef Leo commanding respect as he struts through the kitchen. Everyone is enthralled and in synch. Buns are coming out of the oven and beautiful fresh tomatoes are rolling about. We see The Chef and his sous chefs in a self-satisfied power pose and then the masterpiece: some kind of double decker burger that to me is indistinguishable from something you can get at Wendy’s.
Oh. He’s a soccer guy.