I’ll keep it blessedly short: Amy Schumer and tampons 
I just saw that one!
I’ve seen Schumer’s stand-up act, in which she comes off very…how shall I put this…experienced. Am I really supposed to believe she doesn’t know tampons come in different sizes? In fact, is there any girl over the age of 13 who doesn’t know that?
Is it that product of some unholy merger between man & motorcycle?
At least they got rid of that jackhole box!
I like Motaur!
Did you notice in the migration ad, he’s wearing a belt? Does he take off the motorcycle when he sleeps at night?
I stopped paying attention to those after the “motorcycle with legs” nonsense.
A man married to a woman isnt going to be interested in phone sex with a man in the home he shares with his wife on a landline.
Rule 34.
The current Carfax commercial where the people disguise themselves as shrubs because they paid too much for a car.
They say they can’t show their face in the neighborhood, but the only part of them you can see is their face.
And the only way their neighbors would know what they paid is if the family told them. Keep your mouth shut about it instead of making them ask you why you’re dressed that way.
I haven’t made a list of all the offenders because even thinking about these commercials annoys me, but there are WAY too many airing now that follow this formula:
[jazzy/bouncy/joyous music plays]
Footage of smiling laughing energetic young people ON THE GO, smiling as they enter a restaurant, smiling as they raise a glass in a bar, smiling as they encounter their friends on the boardwalk, etc. etc.
NARRATOR: We’re back! Now that America is getting back to work–to play–to family gatherings, we are here for you! America has found a new energy, a new resolve. Let us be a part of the Great Re-building—let’s get started!!!
LOGO of sponsor appears, with a halo of light and a new swelling of the music.
.
.
.
.
… I am not buying this, and I resent you trying to sell it to me, Corporations of America.
I was trying to enjoy How It’s Made earlier today, and during every single commercial break I was treated to either some naked guy moaning about the contents of his bowels or some elderly woman making a licking/slurping noise against her adult daughter’s face. 
If I didn’t have so much stuff on my DVR already, I would start recording blocks of programming to skip this crap.
I was watching that very same program and can’t believe how many times we had to hear about that guy’s bowels. I also can’t believe that a) they made a show called Naked and Afraid and b) people watch it. Ick.
And howcome when I do my replies it doesn’t show the person I was replying to on my post? What am I doing wrong?
Oops-nm.
Clever riff on Menutaur.
I can’t decide, is that supposed to be a cross between a Centaur and a Minotaur? Thus the “menu” for “mino” and the “taur” apparently for “centaur”? Oh wait, and also for guitaur.
Carfax is saying the customers are so dumb that to disguise themselves, they wear an elaborate costume that fails to disguise them. Like the guy wearing Groucho glasses sitting in his car in his driveway, or the lady doing an anonymous interview who moves out from under the blurring. That’s how dumb you have to be to not use Carfax and overpay.
I resent them encouraging the reduction of social distancing when the pandemic is on the upswing.
I have a nit to pick with Simplisafe: The spokesman is identified as “Robbert Larson”. Because he’s a thief, get it? So shouldn’t they have spelled his last name “Larcen”? There are people like me who are easily irritated, you know!
Never heard of it.
Human legs with a list of prepared meals on top.
I confused “that jackhole box” with “Jack in the Box”.
Menutaur
Has anyone else noticed that, for several weeks now, Scientology has been running a distractingly dull commercial about how germs spread? Like, it’s really long, with middling production value (animation that’s little better than clip art), and presents fairly mundane information of the sort that might be news to a five year old, but is unlikely to be a surprise to anyone else? Like, (paraphrasing here) “diseases spread through things like germs. You should wash your hands. Germs can be spread when you sneeze and stuff. Cover your mouth when you sneeze, blah, blah, blah, …, for more information on how diseases spread, visit our Scientology website for a totally free pamphlet (that probably also contains a bunch of crap about thetans and the importance of reporting to a local auditing center for an e-meter reading ASAP if you really want to be free of disease).”
It just pisses me off so much because it’s such a blatantly obvious, and dull, attempt to try and get people interested in their utterly batshit religious message.
Agreed. The actual message is quite clear.
:flees: