I have to totally agree here, women go through massive changes between 19-23, I’ve seen it many times. The person she is now is NOT the person she will be in 5 years, so that is always a big risk. Heck, women are hard enough to deal with as it is…
Amen brother!
Toby said:
Exactly! Thats why we’re, to get others perspectives and slant on things we may not think of. I wish I had the straight dope growing up…I had to take my licks the old fashions way…
Happy Holidays Toby good luck!
I hate to be so stereotypical, but in general the age you look for reflects what you want out of the scene. I’m 28, and women my own age tend to lean a bit towards the serious side…most have serious commited relationships or marriages in their past, and are more focused on stability than casual dating.
Having just got out of a 6-year relationship, I’m not really inclined to jump back into one, so I’m more attuned to dating younger if only for the reason of having some fun.
There are maturity issues to be dealt with when dating girls around the 20-year mark or younger, but that’s particular to the individual. Some people that age are pretty mature…and others aren’t at all.
On a completely pointless side note, I think that the fascination that older men have with younger women in a sexual sense is hilarious, given that a 20 year old couldn’t, ahem, “impress you” sexually even one-quarter as much as a experienced 30 year old could. Just my opinion.
Um, according to your tool it’s OK for 18 year olds to date 12 year olds.
Hey, his tool just excluded my WIFE from my dating pool.
I feel your pain.
Florida for another. However, ‘all age restrictions are off’ is not the case. A person 24 or older cannot have any kind of sexual contact with someone under 18. 23 and 16 is all good though – legally anyway.
In my opinion, I say go for it as long as you are not expecting a very long term relationship. It probably wont last, but it should be fun while it does.
Some Christian (or non-Christian, for that matter) couples date for a while, and yet don’t engage in sex (or at least sexual encounters that could result in pregnancy). I’m guessing that you weren’t planning on being one of these couples, (or else you would have mentioned it by now), but I thought I’d bring it up.
I think if pregnancy-risking sex is not a factor, and you took things casual and slow, it might not be that big of a deal. But to make it a serious relationship and to risk her getting pregnant at age 18 isn’t prudent. YMMV.
That is exactly the type of relationship I had in mind. I have been in several relationships (some of which were long term) where this was the case. I have absolutley no intention of engaging in such risky behaviors (and don’t tell me that abstaining can’t be done…I have done it before.)
Toby, I feel like a dolt for asking about the sex thing—I didn’t read the second page of this thread, (where you did clarify your intentions) because I didn’t notice that there was a second page when I posted before! :smack:
Whatever you decide to do—a simple friendship or an “innocent” and relatively uncomplicated romantic relationship, it sounds OK as far as I am concerned. As long as you understand that things may fizzle out because of the age difference (if you decide to go the romance route—which in your case would be a chaste romance). It seems like you already realize that.
Well, we are talking about Toby’s feelings and philosphies here, not anyone else’s. He’s 25 years old already, and knows his own mind, I am sure. If he’s sanguine about not engaging in certain behavior (for whatever reason) then that’s his thing. And in his case, it seems like he’s reduced (well, I am guessing at least part of the time, eleminated) the risk of unwanted pregnancies, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. I can think of worse things. And I am sure the parents of all the teenaged girls in his community would have no problem with his philosophy either.
I’m 18, and I wouldn’t date anyone under the age of 18 because the scope of places to go would narrow significantly. (You can drink at 18 in Australia.)
I guess if I was in America and 25 I wouldn’t go out with anyone under 21 because of this reason.
Just MHO. 
As I said earlier, I do nor drink at all. Not being able to go to a bar would not affect my lifestyle in the least. I realize that this is an issue for some, but as for me this is not even something to give a second thought to.
Well, I guess I’m saying that’s the only reason I wouldn’t date under 18. But then I am 18.
I guess if you’re mentally on the same playing field, it shouldn’t matter.
I dated my wife when she was 18 and married her when she was 19. I’m 5 years older than her but in many ways she was and is more mature than me. It’s not so much the age as the maturity level. Being young (or maybe just being herself) she has a lot of spark and has always showed me a lot of let loose fun that you may not get with an “older” girl.
Just make sure not to do anything stupid, like have sex with her, until your’e married ;j (or atleast until it’s legal).
My 25 year old cousin married his 19 year old girlfriend in January. She threw him out in August, and wants a divorce.
She’s still in that life-stage where everything can change, very very quickly.
MHO is that, at 25, you will find more in common with a partner who is at least 21. I feel that after 21, changes in your lifestyle and attitude come less frequently and more gradually. YMMV.
When I was 22 i met a guy who i dated for 2 and a half years…he was 35 when we met. Thingsgot quite serious, and we even considered marriage.
I have a good friend right now who is dating a 35 year old and she is 21. Her main problem with the relationship…the age.
One bit of advice I can give you is this…if you are both ok with age difference (and it is legal)…then i say go for it. Don’t stress about what other people think.
Besides…you attend a christian church, which means i am going to assuming that you are a christian…so i guess the best advice i could give you is…pray about it!!!
Best of Luck!
Raini, Thanks for the the advice. I have been doing just that. We are both ok with it, and neither of us are too stressed about what other people think. I admit I was at first, until I decided on keeping things on more of a friendship basis for now. I am leaving my options open, but since romance is on the backburner I guess it isn’t a big deal. Actually, even if I were planning on more than friendship I shouldn’t worry about what other people think. I only opened this thread for advice from those who were wiser and more experienced than me, and I must say that I have been given an abundance of advice. Thanks to all.
7 years difference in age will be meaningless in a few years anyway. My parents were 6 years apart in age. It’s nothin’. Or at least, it will be eventually.
Since you are taking this slow and easy, and don’t intend (no matter how you decide to go with this) to have a hot-and-heavy affair, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Had you wanted a hot and steamy affair, with marriage and commitment directly in the horizon, that would be a different matter. But that’s not what you are after at all. Just something relatively low-key and (one way of putting it) “innocent”. So, go for it, buddy.