Age of having kids.

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was thinking today, and ended up making a list that was really interesting.

Of my 46 closest non-gay friends and coworkers who I have known for more than ten years and are in the age range of 25-45, practically none of them hads kids between the ages of 22-30, which I would have thought was near the biological prime of people.

8 people had kids before the age of 22 and in six cases it was unplanned. None of them have had kids after 22(but 2 had two kids before 22 and one had 3)

6 began families after the age of 30.

20 are over 30 and have no kids.

8 are between 25 and thirty and claim no desire to have kids in the near future. 2 married, both partners agree.

4 had kids in that age range(3 are over 30). But in three of those cases they got married and the person they married already had custody of kid who was born to the other person before the age of 22. Only one guy from my group of friends got married and decided to start a family at the age of 24.

Is my group of friends a bunch freaks, or that a common distribution these days? I realize that a group of close friends is somewhat self-selecting based on similar interests, but I don’t remember asked people back in high school when they were planning on having kids before allowing them to become friends.

2

Of my circle of friends I think that holds true. We’re all (mostly, I suppose) professionals with strong career-path priorities.

Of those…

We had our first at 33
Another couple had their first at 31
One set started at 29
One set started at 31

The only one I know who had early would be my sister at 20. She’s a housewife and her husband is older by about 13 years than she is.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you find a socio-economic factor in this sort of thing. Professional types delayed children and working-class types having them younger.

3

I cannot imagine having kids, even at the prime age of 24! I would like kids someday though, but not now. No way. There’s something in me that says I have to accomplish certain things before I get in to that.

4

We’re not having any, but among our friends we have:

[ul]one who had her first at 18, the second at 19, and the third at 21
one who had her only so far at 16
one who had her first at 22 and her second at 26
one who had her first at 27 and is currently pregnant with her second, to be born after she turns 29
one who is pregnant with her first at 29
one who is pregnant with her first at 22 (but whose husband is 29)
one sil who had her first at 30[/ul]

Most of our friends don’t have kids. Then again, most of our friends don’t have spouses/longterm SO’s, either. The bulk of our friends who are married are poppin’ out the younguns left and right. Of course, my data is seriously skewed toward people having kids in their twenties for the simple reason that we’re almost all still in our twenties. Still, I don’t know that it would change that much ten years down the line, because most of our friends don’t plan to have children or plan to have them “someday” (and someday just keeps getting further and further away.)

It doesn’t seem to break down on any real economic plane for us, although the two who had kids before 20 are definitely working class. And I guess part of it depends on what you call “professional,” too. If you’re talking about doctors, lawyers, and CEO’s type professional, then all the folks we know having don’t count. (Except for his coworkers, who aren’t in the count listed above because I really don’t know how old most of them are, and because the pregnancy epidemic at the hospital makes it impossible to keep track of it all.) If you’re talking about psychologists, IT folks, physical therapists, and teachers, though, everyone else on the list is in the professional tier.

For us, it seems to more break down to people who know for sure they want kids and have found someone to have them with and people who don’t/haven’t/aren’t sure.

Oh, and could we not refer to having kids as starting a family? It kind of implies that my husband, parents, brother, inlaws, aunts and uncles, and cousins don’t count as a family. I’m not saying it’s offensive or anything, it just pets one of my peeves.

5

Your numbers are fairly well in line with my own, though my own hold even older.

I had my first at 18. Having my second in a few months at 30
1 friend had her first at 23, second at 27 and third at 30
1 at 27 and 31
We’re it for under 30.

2 at 31
1 at 31 and 37
1 at 30 and 34
1 at 35
1 at 37
1 at 30, 42 and 46
1 at 42 and trying for another (:eek: )

And that’s it. I’m using roughly 50 people in my circle of friends here. Most of us are childless by choice, do want to have kids “eventually” and most are married or have long-term SO’s. We’re mostly neohippie slackers, so it’s probably best we not breed much, although there are a 3 lawyers, 3 nurses, 5 college professors and 12 “white collar professionals” in that bunch. We range in age from 23-55, with most in the 30something range. There are 4 babies being planned in the next year by 30somethings and 1 for the now 43.5 year old who had her first at 42. Her ovulation and fertilization is still strong, but she miscarries nearly every month.

There is real reason to consider not delaying pregnancy and childbirth. The latest study by the Mayo clinic reports that 20% of women are infertile after age 30, and 95% after age 40 - far higher numbers than we previously thought.

6

I had my first at 26, which is somewhat older than many of my friends. Most of them seem to have gotten started in their early 20’s, unless they didn’t get married until later. The main reason for this is that most of them are LDS, and place a high value on not putting off children. I’m not actually sure how old a lot of my other friends are; I usually only find out by accident, and then forget.

I’m starting to think this may be a better way to plan things for the career-minded couple; if you work on your career first, and wait to have kids until you’re very established, then you wind up torn between two worlds, whereas if you have kids early, while you’re still energetic, then you can start your career after a few years and go straight up. One thing at a time, instead of going from one to the other and back again, I guess. But I don’t know how that would work out in reality.

And I don’t think that I should have had kids earlier–for one thing, I couldn’t. That is, we meant to have our first about a year before we actually did, but my first pregnancy went quite badly and it took us a long time to conceive again. And we started trying about as soon as we were prepared to.

7

I had my first at 16, my second at 20. My husband had his first at 18, and had 3 by the age of 22.

Of our friends in the area, between the ages of 22-late 30’s or so, we’re the only ones with children.

My sister had her first at 29. My other sister is 27 with no plans for children in the near future.

Here at work, most parents are older. One co-worker in her early 40’s has a 13 year old and a 2 year old. Another in her late 40’s has a 13 year old and a 5 year old. My boss is in his 50’s with a 13 year old. There are several women here in their late 30’s/early 40’s with kids in the 2-6 range. A couple of them have twins. One co-worker in her mid 30’s is pregnant now with twins.

I never thought about it, but I think that does closely match your observation of your circle of friends.
Interesting.

8

Mine, first at 31, 2nd at 32 (first is adopted)
Friend 1, first at 25, 2nd at 31, 3rd at 32
Friend 2, first at 28, 2nd at 34 (adopted)
Friend 3, first at 39
Friend 4, first at 40, second at 43 (adopted)
Friend 5, first at 26, second at 28, 3rd at 30 (damned fertile planners!)

3 married friends childless (one who has been trying).

I know no one who had their children “young.” Young for us was “still in your twenties.”

9

We had our first when the wife was 30, I was 29. We had been married about 9 years by this time. We had our second, and last one 3 years later. Truth be told, we both kind of wish we hadn’t waited quite as long.

Most people I know seem to have them between 24-32, generally favoring the later years of that range.

10

I had mine at 21, which is evidently very young because I am one of the youngest mom’s at the elementary school. I’ve always looked really young, so I looked like a “poor teen mom” when I was preggers. haha. It was kinda funny.

But, I will admit, it was too young. But if I had waited, I probably wouldn’t have ever had one, so I guess it’s good.

11

As more of a working-class type than anything, I’m very much feeling the distinct pressure to have kids in my mid-20s. People I knew from my working-class roots have, or have had, kids who were in preschool/early elementary school by my age, and I’m still childless. It feels like I’m trying to go “uppity” or something and denying my roots and putting off children.

To me, young is anything under 18, and delayed childbearing seems like anything over the age of 22-23 or so! :stuck_out_tongue:

12

Mrs. Nott was born on her mother’s 36th birthday in 1949. It was at least 6 years later than her mother had intended to have children. The birth took place in another town, 25 miles away. Our only local hospital at the time was a Catholic hospital. It’s a fine hospital, but tubal ligations were not allowed there. So, my mother-in-law had her delivery and tube-tying at Ball Memorial Hospital in Muncie. When she woke up after the delivery, she heard the Ball State band practicing outside.

We have no kids, by our own choice.