Are you considering having children?
If so, at what age do you imagine yourself having your first child?
If considering age 35-40+ for having a first child, other than the potential for birth defects and/or genetic issues, do you have any concerns about having a child at that age? Would you be more likely to want only one child if you had your first child at 35-40+?
What factors weigh(ed) heaviest on your decision whether or not to have children?
I am 29, Mrs Bernse is 26. We don’t plan on having any kids at all. If you do though, I can be certain it isn’t going to be before she is 30. We want to have our house and cars paid off, and have all of our carrers in order by the time we even consider it. As a kid growing up, I remember living hand to mouth at times and I never want to voluntarily make my kids even possibly grow up that way. They don’t have to be spoiled (they damn well won’t be) but we don’t want to have to worry about our financial security as a family. Something we never had the luxury of growing up.
Birth defects? Least of our worries.
If any, probably only one. MAYBE 2.
Not a chance.
We don’t want any. Really, it’s just that simple. It’s the same decision process that we (should) use for just about everything: Do the benefits outweigh the costs? In this case, the benefits are low, and the costs are high.
You didn’t ask, but we’re both 44, and have been married for 23 years.
How is that different from 35-39+, or 35-36+, or just 35+?
I’m 30, Mrs. Sublight is 31, and we’re planning on having a kid later this year or next year. Attaining financial security is a concern, as is the increasing risk of birth defects as we get older. Wanting to have kids early enough that we’re not going senile by the time they move out was also on our minds.
The big question now is whether we’ll have one (my choice) or two (hers). Both of us were only children, and I have absolutely no understanding of sibling relations.
I changed the range so many times and then decided to leave it open ended. 35+ would have been better.
I am 38. Mrs. H is 36. We have no intention of having kids because, frankly, we don’t want to spend the money and do all of the work. Also we love to travel. We love our dog though.
Haj
Are you considering having children?
No.
**What factors weigh(ed) heaviest on your decision whether or not to have children? **
The only factor is that we just plain don’t want any.
I’m 33 and Mr. dreamer is 38. We’d like to have one child before he is 40. The reason we’ve put it off this far is because we are both musicians and have a lot going on right now, so we aern’t ready to give all that up just yet.
It is risky or whatever to wait, but there are people who have children past 35 and their children are normal and healthy. So I’m not too worried about it.
Nope, not at all. I’m 35, he’s 46. Never wanted any. Don’t want the work and expense. Count us among those that have critters as surrogate “kids.” Much easier to deal with.
Both me and Mrs. N. are 28, and we’ve been trying for seven months.
As for why, we’d written off the idea many times before. No real reason, it just seemed that there were better things to do (for example, we’ve travelled a fair bit in the last four or five years). Then at the start of this year we thought we’d take the plunge. We both realised that it was what we wanted to do at about the same time (fortunately!).
Wish us luck!
I hope you have GREAT luck!!
I’ve been in school almost continuously for my whole life (just two years off between grad school and law school), so there never seemed like a good time to have kids. We’re thinking about it now (I’m 34, my husband is 30). My biggest worry outside of the whole birth defects issue is that I’ll be putting kids through college at a time when I’d rather be thinking about retiring, and generally that I won’t be able to keep up with them as easily.
I’m 24, Husband is 25, not seriously thinking about it yet. Any mention of children is in the “some day” sense. I do feel like our lives will include children, though, I just feel like we have plenty of time, and we are proccupied now (he’s in school, we just bought a house). Also, we just got a puppy, who needs to be supervised and also gets up during the night, and that is enough responsibility for me right now!
Although, for the first time I do feel like if it happened, it wouldn’t be a big tragedy. We are careful, but neither do I fret and obsess over preventing it the way we used to. We are stable enought to provide for a child for the first time.
Well, we got married last year (after ‘living in sin’ for twelve years) because we wanted to have kids in the future. He is 32. I am 31. Not sure when it will happen, but if we get ‘too old’ to conceive before we have a child, we will likely adopt. We decided (much like Nerrie GOOD LUCK btw) at the same time that it was close to that time. I think it had a lot to do with spending more time with our neices and nephews.
I’m 29, Mr. is 31. We’ve been married about 3 years, together in toal for 11. Definitely want kids–I want 3, he thinks that might be one too many. (Truth be told, if I thought we could afford it, I would like 5!)
Up 'til now, we haven’t felt the time was right. We do now and are going to start “trying” in the next year. I’m not worried about birth defects or anything like that. We’ve waited because we didn’t want kids before now–too busy doing things for ourselves, like travel and school. Also been spending lots more time with our neice and nephews and that has made an impact on us.
We’re expecting twins in March 
We’ve been trying for a few years now.
Raising children is something I want to experience in my life. Kind of simplistic, but that’s about it. That, and the clock is ticking, so here we are. It’s time!
My big concerns right now are: getting my wife through this pregnancy in one piece; getting the babies through this pregnancy in good health; getting my shit together financially (my finances are a joke at this point after multiple IVF cycles and building a house). Secondary concerns are: Having enough energy to do everything (I’m 40); having to deal with stuff that will come up because the kids are bi-racial; having to deal with family members who all have their own ideas about what we should do (not that I mind, terribly).
My husband and I are both 29. We aren’t sure whether we want children. We have a comfortable life at the moment and don’t know if we want to change that. There are times when I don’t want to give over my life to raising children, and there are times like last weekend when I was going through a bunch of boxes of my old stuff in the garage and found myself having a mental conversation with my imaginary child telling them about all “mom’s” stuff. (Yes, I am weird.)
He thinks we should adopt if we do decide to have kids. I’m not sure I could carry a child anyway due to some health reasons, but then again I would be interested in seeing what the combination of our genes would be. But mere curiosity seems like a really selfish and vain reason to bring a new life into the world, so if we do decide to be parents, we probably would adopt.
I am thirty two; he is thirty. We have always wanted kids; it was never questioned for a minute. However, we were both the spawn of unprepared teenage unions, and we have vowed to be ready, both financially and emotionally. Birth defects terrify me, especially because his family has had several seriously ill infants. Before we start, we plan on getting genetic counseling. If the odds are bad enough, we will try to adopt, and I know that can be ruinously expensive with no sure hope of success (i.e. actually adopting).
I think that we would be better parents now than we would have been ten or even five years ago. What we lose in energy, we make up in patience.
I am 29, my wife is 36.
We aren’t having kids. Neither of us has much desire to have children. I knew from a young age that I didn’t like children and wouldn’t be having any. She can’t become pregnant without significant medical help, and has decide that she’d rather not inflict her genes on another generation in any case. So it worked out pretty well.
We raise pet chinchillas. That’s the closest I want to being responsible for a child.
Planning on having children?
Yes and no. When we met 12 years ago, Ms. Lorenzo wanted 2-3 kids and I wanted zero or less. Married five years now, I’m leaning more towards having kids and she’s leaning away.
What age to have first child?
Probably before Ms. Lorenzo turns 40.
Concerns besides birth defects?
Energy, money, sacrifices, life-style changes, whether Ms. Lorenzo should continue working, etc.
Factors affecting decision:
We both love kids but also love our current freedoms and flexibilities.