Persephone,
That may depend on area. It didn’t say that when I bought my house.
iampuhna:
But… that’s five words!!
Tubagrrl, look inside yourself. 19 is very young to get married, but as Opal says only you can determine if it is too young for you. The advise of others is worth listening to and considering, but only you can determine if it applies or not.
Spare the guy and dump him now. Don’t wait until after because it’s planned.
If you aren’t sure, then it’s really wrong.
douglips said:
“But… that’s five words!!”
- Seven
- words
- Shania
- Twain
- Still
- the
- One
Questions?
Normally, when someone says, “X words: blah blah blah…”, the words “x words” don’t “count”. For example: “In a word, ‘No’”. That would actually be four words, but I usually don’t hear anyone saying “In four words, ‘No’”.
Maybe you aren’t wrong, but in my experience, I don’t think people normally count “x words”.
Re the OP: Tubagirl, it’s tough for any of us to know exactly what you feel. But my first inclination is to agree with what many of the others have said: it sounds like “normal” nervousness to me. I’m sure you’re making the right call.
(I’m 34. I’d rather have been married at 19 than single now.)
Hmmm, I’m from Central Florida and I know lots of people that get married that young. I didn’t, tho. Didn’t meet the right guy until I was almost 27. Only you can decide if you are ready to be married and if Chris is the right guy. You may be right, or wrong, but nobody else can decide for you.
tubagirl, calm down. Take a deep breath and think a minute…
What’s really going to change?
Your name? It doesn’t have to if that bothers you. All changing your name means is that your legal signature changes. (I’ve lost count how many times I practiced my new signature before the wedding) Your friends will still call you by your first name like they always have. The only people who will call you Mrs. Freeman are telemarketers. 
Will your lifestyle change? Of course it will, but since you two have been together for a while the change won’t be as great. My biggest change was moving in with my new husband. I already practically lived with him by then that it didn’t seem much of a change.
The important stuff, you and Chris, will still be the same. You’ll still love each other and that makes all the other changes small stuff. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
chrisbar
(cold feet jitters are normal! I was practically hyperventelating through the ceremony and then suddenly poof it was over and so were my jitters. Good Luck!)
Marriage doesn’t change a person as much as you think. Sure, your name changes and people call you Mrs. but that’s about it. You’re still an individual with your own thoughts, emotions, etc. As long as your not walking down the aisle thinking to yourself, “Well, if it doesn’t work out I can always get a divorce,” you’ll be fine. When I walked down the aisle that’s exactly what I was thinking and I knew in my heart I shouldn’t have been marrying him but because of the circumstances, I did. Two years later we were divorced. I was never really in love with him and during our marriage I put on a front pretending that everything was fine. It was a terrible way to live.
Being with lots of men before marriage won’t make the decision to get married any easier. As long as your happy pleasing the person your with and they please you, that’s what’s important. Guys will still hit on you and more than likely you’ll get a good laugh out of it. Your life won’t be over either. You’ll have a great time being with your husband and doing things together. You’ll still go off and do your own thing and when you come back there will be someone waiting at home for you. What a great feeling!
Good luck on your wedding and marriage!!
You can respond with a, " I’m with someone who is more trainable than you." kinda response. It boosts the male ego while letting them down gently.
I don’t know you well enough to render an opinion, but that won’t stop me.
If you’re having doubts, you’re the only one that can decide whether those are just the typical ‘cold feet’ that nearly everybody gets, or if you really wonder if you’re doing the right thing. If you really are having second thoughts, they’ll come back to haunt you in a big way, should the marriage turn sour.
There’s no way I was ready for marriage at 19, but that’s just me. Some people are, and maybe you’re one of them…but that’s something only YOU know.
Good luck, and I hope it works out.
Tempting me out of lurkerdom to express sympathy …
I empathise completely - I woke up the day after my wedding (just over a year ago) and had hysterics. I couldn’t believe how strange it felt. I didn’t know how to be THIS person - I’d been someone else for so long.
All I can do is echo what’s been said already - it passes - you’d be surprised how quickly. Life goes on, pretty much as it always will.
Best of luck, I hope you’re truly happy.
Charley.
(now, remembering my new signature, THAT took some doing …)
Strike one–You’re 19
Strike two–You’re having concerns
Strike three–According to your other post, you want to know if it’s ok to sleep with another man to see what sex is like with someone else.
You’re out. There is a reason that 50% of marriages end in divorce. I could sugarcoat and be real supportive, but the clear reality is that you are not ready to be married yet.
You will likely ignore this advice and get married regardless. I implore you, do not have children for at least 5 years. Divorce is very difficult for children.
Mike Royko wrote an open letter to Prince Charles and Diana when they married. Didn’t work out, but Mike and Carolyn were together till she died.
Mike wrote that when you weep, someone will be there to dry your tears. That you will never be alone. I don’t remember all of that letter, but it sounded good.
However, if you are already wondering about what it would be like to be with another man, maybe you need to have a chat with your fiancee.
For whoever asked when I married the spouse would get all pissy when I would say My mailbox, my pet, whatever. He acted as though I couldn’t exist without thinking and breathing that WE stuff 24/7. However, that is just me.
Since your other thread is now closed, I’m just going to say it here.
Marriage and fidelity are really whatever you and Chris want them to be, and as long as you both agree and abide by that agreement, then things can be very cool. On the other hand, I still don’t think you’re mature enough to get married. I really wonder if you know what it is to be in love. He’s your first…how do you know if it’s true love if you have nothing against which you can compare it?
I do hope things work out for you, and I do hope you go for that counseling you mentioned.
UncBeer, do us ALL a favor and close this one too.
please?