My mother will be 90 in June.
This morning the phone rang - I didn’t hear it but that’s nothing new. I am a very sound sleeper. Luckily my husband did hear it. One of my mother’s cousins (no, not my mother’s age. She’s only in her 60s) lives semi close to my mother. Cousin M was on the phone telling me she had taken my mother to the Dr. yesterday and it wasn’t so much the reason for the Dr. visit that had her concerned. It was my mother’s increasing behavior. Without going into details, Cousin M described my mother has having become increasingly forgetful, confused and verbally aggressive and abusive which is totally unlike her.
I had noticed the confusion and forgetfulness and Rico and I have discussed it. My sister, A, had noticed it too and we’d discussed it. I am not in touch with my sister L very much so we hadn’t discussed it. I did call L today and turns out she’s been noticing it and had been talking with her husband about what they could do if/when the time came that mom couldn’t safely live on her own.
They have 3 bedrooms so mom can go live with them in Alabama. We don’t have room and actually, A is mom’s step daughter so it isn’t really her problem, although A has considered my mother to be her mother for 47 years and is more then willing to be involved in all this.
My mother is extremely stubborn and independent and we all are sure she’s going to resist moving in with my sister, but we just can’t afford an assisted living care facility. (She would object to that too). We’re trying to figure out how to talk with her.
But more importantly, I’m trying to figure out how to get her the assistance she needs now to make sure she gets her medication and eats. Sister L and her husband won’t be able to take off work to go get mom until the middle of June.
I’m also thinking that Mom needs to see an Internist and have a thorough exam with a Dr. but with someone who will tell the Dr. that she’s having more problems then the “sinus problems” mom keeps talking about.
Also, I’m trying to get in touch with her church to see if they can be of assistance.
Anyone ever go through this before? What did you do? Any suggestions how to deal with things? Any options out there that I don’t know about not havening been through this before. My Dad died when I was 9 so she doesn’t have a husband there to help.