Oh it’s your MOTHER that will flip? Sure it’s not your boyfriend?
The answer is easy, you sneak into your house and get out the vacuum, put the hose to your neck and scream “HELP, HELP,” then that explains that.
It’s also the first line of a Britney Spear’s song, “Gimme More”, not that I would know anything about that. Or admit to knowing anything about that. Given as, you know, I don’t know anything about that, there’s nothing to admit to. You know.
Um.
The real question is will she return to read these responses?
I think not.
Well that’s a given. Her profile states she’s in NY. So it’s 1AM there. Assuming she leads a somewhat normal life, she’s at home already and her mom has probably already dismembered the corpse.
We should all say lower our heads in silence.
silence
I don’t even have a hickey and I plan on doing this!
If you had some seaweed you could yell ‘KELP! KELP!’
So how do we know she was making out with a guy?
Crochet a scarf from poison ivy – the resulting rash will cover up the hickeys!
Or get them tattooed over. Even if your mom notices them, she probably won’t care!
In a similar vein, tell her you’re pregnant. Then tell her you really have no idea how that could have happened, seeing how you’re gay and all. Blame it on all the drugs you’ve been doing. When she regains consciousness, you can probably safely show her the hickeys.
Tell her you’ve been attacked by an elderly vampire who’d forgotten his dentures.
Deliberately infect yourself with leprosy, the sores should look similar enough.
Tell mom it’s Lupis.
And I like the idea of getting a tatoo to blend in with the hickeys.
Go Goth; heavy black and white makeup.
Many years ago, a friend of mine had the same problem. When her mother spotted the hickey and said, “What’s that on your neck??!!”, my friend, thinking quickly, began to scratch the spot and replied, “I don’t know but it sure does itch!”
Of course, her mother was quite naive. YMMV.
Could you cover a Hickey with a dickey?
Can we make this thread a sticky?
Don’t you watch House? It’s never lupus!
Serious answer (not just for the OP, but for anyone else here who may be interested: my 18YO has found that layering on mineral foundation covers hickeys a lot better than any other kind of makeup she’s found. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she’s got a freakin’ bunch of long, thick hair that can be artfully arranged to cover most of her neck. . .
(And it doesn’t help that she inherited my complexion and bruises if someone breathes on her too hard. . .)
Picky, picky.
Regards,
Shodan
Ask your Gran how your mother used to cover them up …
This is all canceled out later in life when women (teachers) mess around with their students and get off (pun intended) much easier when they are busted.
If you choose to claim an injury (a curling iron incident, for example), remember to pretend it hurts when ma pokes at it.
Well you can stop being a little hussy, for one…
Best user name/response combination I’ve seen so far today.
Hickies are meant to shout your love to all the world; there’s no shutting them up. Well, maybe you could try hitting yourself in the neck really hard so that the whole area bruises but I do NOT advocate that.
::sucking on her gums:: Time was, the SDMB was only available on AOL, and we had a dedicated chat room, too, goshdarnit! You young’ns have no respect, NO RESPECT, for the HISTORY of the SDMB!
::goes back to her tatting::
samclem, as a mod, aren’t you supposed to fix the subject line to be descriptive?