After months of quietly seething, I must pit or explode into a shower of unfortunate bits and pieces (so hard on the carpeting, you know).
I pit you, smokers in my office! One and all.
You may take your stinky cancer sticks and insert them into the nether orifice of your choice!
Just because you’re choosing to impair your health for the sake of a few drags off a disgusting, yellowing ass-end of butt does not give you the God-given right to be inconsiderate to the rest of the damn world!
/imitates smoker snivel
“Oh, but it only hurts me! I don’t see why you get all worked up about it!”
Faugh, I say, faugh!!
Who the hell do you think gets to do your job during the 20 minutes in each hour you take off to go have your smoke? Who the hell has to smell the foul stench of your cigarettes on you when you get back? Oh and yes you DO reek, thank you very much. And dumping half a bottle of perfume on yourself doesn’t disguise the odor. Now you just smell like someone upended a bottle of perfume in an ashtray - and I get to whiff “eau du brothel ashtray” for the remainder of my day. I realize you have no sense of smell left, but that’s no reason to punish the rest of us. Occasionally the odor makes me want to gag.
And while we’re at it, where do you get off taking credit for the work I’ve done FOR YOU during the 20 minutes you were off huddling in the corner of the building out of the wind like the junky you are? How dare you stand there and smile serenely and accept accolades while you take credit for my work to our boss? You could at least be gracious enough to acknowledge the fact that I cover for your lazy, self-destructive ass multiple times every single day. Every. Single. Day. But you can’t manage that. What you CAN manage to do is ignore the half-dozen times a day I cover for your poor work habits and addictive behavior and inform my boss I’ve “taken off again” when I run to the restroom for a moment.
Somehow it’s your constitutional right to foist your damn job off on my shoulders repeatedly. God forbid I should mention it to you, then the bitching and snarking never stop.
So, take your filthy, disgusting, malodorous coffin nails and insert them into the nether orifice of your choice. God knows you won’t even be able to tell the difference in taste when your addiction drives you to smoke them anyway.
I know you’re going to get lambasted, at least from some quarters for this, but AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!
To all of it. I love the ones who say “I know that some smokers smell, but I don’t”. So what? You have a secret invisible ciggy smoke force field? Yeah, you do. I can smell you before you even hit the doorway.
And as to the work thing. Must be nice to take 20 minutes off of each hour.
Any reason you can’t leave the butt-lovers’ work undone? Just do your own work, so far as the revulsion at their stench permits, and if there’s a problem? Hey, you were where you were supposed to be, doing the work you were supposed to do. If the smokers’ work isn’t done, that’s their problem, not yours.
Is your boss a smoker too? If so, you aren’t likely to get any sympathy or support. If s/he’s not, though, have you tried talking privately about how the smokers are adversely affecting your ability to get your job done?
Actually, I do know several smokers who don’t smell (more who do, but YMMV). My roommate who just moved out was a pretty heavy smoker, but never smoked indoors. When she did smoke indoors, I could smell it on her, but only then. Her clothes never smelled. It wasn’t a case of me just getting used to it, either - we’ve been friends for five years, and I never smelled it on her before, either.
But yeah, a smoker who tries to cover up the smell with perfume or cologne just ends up smelling like a floral ashtray - it’s not pretty. I’d prefer the smoke smell on it’s own, actually.
Also, I’ll second whoever said to not do their work - if there is any way you can just leave it for them, do so.
I was going to say the same thing. Don’t do your co-worker’s work! I’m a smoker and I don’t ask anyone to do mine. And I get more work done in a day than most of the slacker non-smokers around here anyway, so let’s not talk about productivity!
I take 5 minutes off per hour. I make it up by arriving before my coworker, and leaving after her. And I don’t take a lunch hour. And if she takes and extra 15 minutes for her lunch hour, I could care less. I do not expect non-smokers to take up my slack.
I think you’ll find that most smokers are like this. If you simply tell them that you need a 5 minute leg stretcher each hour, they won’t object.
And if the smoker in the OP is taking credit for someone else’s work, don’t blame it on the cigs. Clearly the guy has a poor work ethic, and you should address that on its own terms. Don’t blame all smokers for that asshole.
Sort of have to - it’s a company-policy kind of thing. Well that and when clients call up demanding answers, answers must be given, regardless of whether or not the person usually in charge of their answers is sucking down a coffin nail or not. Our desks must be manned or covered at all times during regular business hours. If one steps away, someone has to be there. Which also means I can’t leave the desk to use a restroom, or fax things, or make copies or do other tasks I occasionally have that involve me leaving my desk.
The conversation goes like this:
“Where’s Beth?!?!”
“Out smoking.”
“Why didn’t you do <insert Beth’s task here> then dammit?”
“I was doing <task I was beavering away at>”
“<Beth’s task> was more important! How can you not know what the priorities are! And by the way, answer that phone! Can’t you hear it ringing?!?”
The best part is that this inevitably comes from BETH’S boss - not my boss. Different bosses. But her boss is higher up the food chain than my boss. Higher up the chain in a different department, of course, but higher up all the same
Every place I’ve worked that had smokers, it took a lot longer than 5 minutes for them to do their smoke breaks. They usually went out as groups and chatted as well as smoked.
Personally I don’t care (pssst, it’s couldn’t care less, could means you could care more too :), of course, now that I’ve pointed this out, I’m liable to make spelling errors…yikes), because I only do my work, and most places I’ve worked where one didn’t just have their own office and own work, I refused to pick up slack anyway.
As to the smell issue. I can smell cigarette smoke for miles. One half of a molecule blows back on someone’s clothing, even out of doors on a windy day, I can smell it.
In response to tdn because of the security in my office and the architecture, it takes 5 minutes to get out of the building at a minimum. So even a 5 minute smoke = 15 minutes. This is assuming they go out, smoke and return IMMEDIATELY. They never do. They always go in groups and hang out and socialize for a while. Two of the girls sharing my work space and responsibilities smoke - they go together. Every hour.
If I take random breaks, it’s my ass if my boss starts looking for me. Particularly since neither of the smokers ever bothers to check to see if I’m leaving the desk before she bails. I’ve OFTEN come back to my desk from the restroom and found my boss and her boss staring at me with the “Damn you slacker!” look.
So it’s not the understanding of the smokers I need. Why their bosses don’t get pissed I couldn’t tell you. Actually their bosses DO get pissed - and they take it out on the person there. Guess who that is. Why they haven’t fired them I’m not sure.
My secretary at my last job smoked. She only smoked outside, and was very careful to hold her cigarette downwind from her body. She never smelled like smoke.
Other than that, I agree with everything you said.
The taking credit thing is in the following circumstance:
Tight deadline, much work to be done.
I bust my ass to get it done, the smoker contingent works hard enough for their 40 minutes an hour but is totally gone for the other 20. So I work a third more time, and get probably twice the work done. So when the task GETS done in time, the powers that be come by to express thanks and gratitude for our hard work and the smokers are right there piping up “Why thank you Ms. Bossperson, I’m so glad you appreciate my hard work!” WHAT hard work? You mean the hard work you were doing for 20 minutes an hour out at the curb? THAT hard work?
Ah. Well, for one, I always go alone and try not to engage in any conversation, at least not that will keep me from my desk too long. For the other, that’s partly the design of the building combined with the smoking policy. When we got pushed outdoors (not our choice), our breaks became longer because we had to walk farther. Honest, we’d rather not.
So it sounds like the problem is largely with your bosses.
The bosses have a point - they need someone there at all times. Hence the company policy.
The ladies could smoke on their lunch (which is more than generous enough) or if they absolutely HAD to, they could take one break between start of work and lunch, but they don’t.
Objectively I know there are considerate smokers out there - but this is very definitely a bad apple and barrel situation for me. It happens far far too often for me to shrug it off as one jackass. For a while, before I was permanently assigned in the company, I floated from department to department and it was the same with EVERY DAMN ONE. The smokers all did precisely the same thing.
Ah, then it sounds like this is a company culture thing, Aangelica, if the situation’s the same throughout the departments.
Which means talking to your boss wouldn’t do squat, and the only long-term solution for you is to find employment at a company where this sort of crap isn’t tolerated.
Whether that’s an option open to you, of course, is a whole 'nother topic, and if you’re stuck where you are, I’m very sorry.
What am I supposed to do–not answer the smoker nurse’s call lights when she is out in the butt hut?
It takes at least 5 minutes for them to get an elevator and down the hut. They do not go alone.
There are a few nurses who are considerate about their habit and offer to get my pop from the cafe (I pay, of course) on their way back up. That is nice and I don’t mind so much. Most of the smokers try to limit it to one break in the AM, one at lunch and one in the PM.
The others? Well, there is not much I can do–if doc comes in to do bedside procedure and Nico Tine RN is off the unit–I assist him–too bad I usually don’t know jack about the pt…
Hey, I used to smoke. I LIKE the smell of a cig wafting from about 15 feet away on a patio. I am not saying smokers are evil, bad people. But they do not do as much at work as the non-smokers. In nursing(at least at my hospital) no-one gets out on time, anyway; there is no way to make up for the time lost, and no way to swap out procedures. Sucks.
And even when the smokers go outside for their regular fix, they come back into the office and stink out all of the lifts. I hate having the lift doors open only to be met with the stale cigarette smell that’s come from the smokers.
This October, our entire institution is going tobacco-free. Not just for inmates (it’s that already) but for staff too. Tobacco will actually be contraband, and bringing it into the prison will result in discipline. No smoking whatsoever will be allowed on the prison grounds.
