Ahhhh, sweet PMS

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I want candy. Right now.

My butt is huge. I mean, it’s the size of a bus.

:::sob:::

My hair is a fuzzy mess. I can’t do anything with it!

What the hell is this? Necco wafers? YUCK! I said I wanted candy, not tiddlywinks. Give me chocolate. NOW.

:::snarflechewchewswallow:::

More.

:::sobsnif:::

Oh man, poor Tommy. Why does Angelica have to pick on him like that?

Where’s my car keys? I’m going shopping. It doesn’t matter for what. I’m just going shopping, dammit!

:::sigh:::

Okay, where’s my car?

What’s that smell? What is that smell??? Jeez, that smells like…it’s the rings of Saturn. Yeah. That’s it.

Where’s the vacuum? This floor is a mess. Oh, be quiet. I did not vacuum the floor fifteen minutes ago.

Oh no. Oh freaking no. Not another zit. I can’t take this. How am I supposed to gout out in public with this pizza face? They’ll throw me right in to a sideshow, they will.

AAAGH! Cramps! AAAAAGH!

Have you found the car yet? Oh, it’s in the driveway, right where I left it, you say? Well, that makes my shopping trip a little easier. What do you mean, you “think maybe I need a nap”? You don’t think I’m capable of operating a motor vehicle? You think I’m an idiot or something? Well, let me tell you something…oh dammit, what the hell is your name again? Oh yeah. Well, Mr. %%&##!!!, you think you’re so sympathetic and stuff, you have no freaking IDEA what it’s like! NONE!

Well, crap. Now I’m tired. Maybe I will take a na…

:::thump:::

…zzzzzz…

2

:::Hands Persephone a half gallon container of Rocky Road ice cream and a spoon:::

I know, honey, I know…it’ll all be okay…

:::Patting Persephone on the back:::

It’s okay…can I get you a hot water bottle?

3

Thanks, Jeannie…but I don’t need that spoon.

:::shovels ice cream barehanded in to face:::

4

Perhaps an automatic weapon or two? AK-47? Mallet to “correct” the mirrors in your house?

Gold card or two?

5

Ya know, Persephone, PMS is Nature’s way of telling you that you need a long ride out under the gal swingin’ on a beneficent moon :wink: .

That, and the fact that it’s getting you ready for a vulnerable time, biologically speaking. So, it serves the purpose to tell the dangerous coyotes to get the fuck away. Then, if we’re threatened, us gals can kick some serious coyote ass. That’s my evolutionary theory, anyhoo.

Long hot baths do wonders in the 21st century. Even for redheads.

6

OK, who has the Godivas with the Valium filling? Let her sleep it off…

7

Q: What’s the difference between a woman on PMS and a fanatical terrorist?

A: You can always negotiate with the fanatical terrorist.

:slight_smile:

(Uh-oh, was I thinking out loud again???)

:::Crawls into nearby tank turret for cover:::

8

Hey Persephone, mind if I moan, groan and eat ice cream with you?

Cause if not, I think my self-pity/girl pains might kill me.

9

hands Persephone some of her brandy beans (chocolate shells in the shape of beans and filled with brandy) and looks up an evil glint in her eye hearing Bluepony

After him girls! He went that way! points at the fleeing Blue

10

Please tell me you guys watched “Everybody Loves Raymond” tonight. The whole show was about this very topic, and it is one of the funniest episodes of ANY show I’ve ever seen.

11

OMG, was it the rerun of the one where his wife has PMS and he buys her the pills? That has got to be the funniest episode of any currently running TV show! I almost peed on myself watching that one! I must have a tape of that episode!

12

What is that pray tell? On TV? Whats that?

Actually I know what Everybody Loves Raymond is… but I haven’t watched any of his shows… I rarely watch tv and when I do its usually Who’s Line Is It?, Just For Laughs, Comedy at Club 54 or Law & Order… I don’t watch much tv. smiles