Aura, I thought I was clear on all the Webonyms, but YMMV?
“You mustrespect my views”?
“Yukon Muskox Mammary Virus”?
“You Make Me Vomit”?
Whaaaaat? 
Your Mileage May Vary.
Well…lol… my father’s friend has a weird theory on the origins of HIV and AIDs. Also, on how us humans came to Earth. I find them very humerous, but I’ve noticed he’s serious. He must be on crack. Anyway, here are his theories:
HIV/AIDS Origin – My father’s friend seems to think that, in the seventies, that some guy had a gorilla in captivity. Now, for you queasy people, scroll past this, because this is sickening…
Anyway, he seems to think that the guy had sexual relations with the gorilla and somehow contracted HIV from it. Then, he went and had sexual relations with other women and this started a chain reaction. And now, we have HIV and AIDs.
Many of you may think he’s crazy. Well, he is… And here’s his theory on the Origins of Humans:
Origins of Humans – Well, my father’s friend seems to believe in aliens, because this next theory definitely involves aliens. He seems to believe that… yes, another sexual relations theory… that the aliens came down to earth, had sex with the gorillas, and made humans. This is his theory for the missing link, also.
*I was cracking up by the time he finished this explanation. He got mad and threw a volleyball at me.
Now here is my theory on AIDs:
My theory of HIV/AIDS origin – I believe that AIDS and HIV began in Africa, in a biological weapons test. Like the ones Saddam threatened to use. Ronald Reagan wanted a better weapon than the Nuclear Bomb, so he asked scientists around the US to develop some sort of biological weapon that would not only kill anyone who came in contact with it, but prolonged the death of the person, so that infected person would have time to spread it to other people. I believe that the US was being secretly threatened by another nation. It could be any nation, but I’m thinking either China or Russia. The US had to find a place outside of the United States to test this new weapon, as to not draw attention to themselves, and to not put any United States citizens at risk. Obviously, if this is the case, it backfired. Anyway, Africa may have been a suitable place to test this, for that there were many people, and a lot of people were still majorly racist. They figured that if they survived the slave age that they may be able to survive this. They tested, infected humans, and now have HIV. It spread, to numerous countries, and developed into AIDS. Since the government didn’t fully know the effects of the weapon, as in the atomic bomb testing (radiation poisoning), they didn’t know that the virus would mutate as much as it did. And this is why we have HIV and AIDs today.
I also believe that our government has an antidote for AIDs.
That is all I have to say on that subject. Thank you for your time.*
Gogeta
"And…and I was told to show no mercy!" – Gohan to Bojack
That may be closer to the truth than you think. Consider:
- HIV apparently came from SIV, a monkey disease
- HIV is a sexually transmitted disease
I’ll leave you to imagine an appropriate route of transmission into the human populous.
“I had a feeling that in Hell there would be mushrooms.” -The Secret of Monkey Island
I shouldn’t respond to any of this (cripes, people, this is the Straight Dope. Is it too much to ask that you not put forth more obvious foolishness and misinformation?). Anyway, HIV is spread via blood as well as sex. The assumption is that the virus carried by a couple of ape species - but not gorillas - (the closest to HIV-I was found in chimps), could have hopped species when humans hunting em cut themselves while butchering them. Lots of diseases now transmitted human to human originally came from animals (zoonoses).
Jill
Just heard fascinating interview with British journalist Ed Hooper who’s written a book about the origins of HIV. He traces it to a polio vaccination program in areas of Africa where HIV-1 popped up. Apparently, the vaccine was developed using chimps at a facility in what is now the Republic of Congo. He claims in his book, The River, that the more he dug the greater the evidence of the HIV-polio vaccine link.
His book is published by Penguin.
Gogeta:
Aww, Jill. What’s the matter, can’t type and pound your head into a wall at the same time?
Gogeta, since it has already been pointed out that examples of AIDS infection have been found that pre-dated the Ronald Reagan presidency and it has already been pointed out that we do not yet have the tools necessary to do the gene/viral manipulation that such experiments required, I think that you may safely put your theory away in your closet (or bury it in your back yard).
Leaving aside the issues I have already mentioned, why do you think that the U.S. could manipulate/create HIV in fewer than two years (from Reagan’s inauguration until AIDS was recognized in the news media), but all the other scientists of the world (e.g., the French) have been unable to unlock its secrets in the last 16 years? This is the Straight Dope; please consider how something could happen if you want to post wild conspiracy theories.
Tom~
Gogeta,
Considering your AIDS theory, I wouldn’t be dissing your father’s friend for having crackpot ideas.
Or was this some kind of joke trying to one-up the alien/human hybrids?
I didn’t notice anybody link to this yet, but there was a somewhat related discussion over on Great Debates a little while ago, under the title, “The Duesberg Hypothesis.” You can read it at http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000320.html
Oh, my!
-
Reread Diceman’s post. Then note his .sig line. Sheer coincidence, I’m sure, but I cracked up!
-
Gogeta’s father’s theory has some historical precedent, though I’d hesitate to categorize it as anything but lunatic fringe. But if opportunity presents, check out the description of the Theosophist origins of man theory (Helena P. Blavatsky) in L. Sprague de Camp’s Lost Continents (which is BTW one of the best debunkings of the whole Atlantis/Lemuria/occultism phenomena I’ve ever read).
[[Just heard fascinating interview with British journalist Ed Hooper who’s
written a book about the origins of HIV. He traces it to a polio
vaccination program in areas of Africa where HIV-1 popped up.]]
Que viva la vida loca.
Pardon me for sounding ignorant, but I understand that the original carrier of AIDS into America was a French Canadian Steward on an airline. They managed to trace the infection to him. What I would like to know is, WHO gave him the infection to begin with? Did they ever track that person down and from there follow whatever links to just where it originated?
Mark
[[Pardon me for sounding ignorant, but I understand that the original
carrier of AIDS into America was a French Canadian Steward on an
airline. They managed to trace the infection to him. What I would like
to know is, WHO gave him the infection to begin with? Did they ever
track that person down and from there follow whatever links to just
where it originated?]]
The airline steward, Gaetan Dugas was called “patient zero” and there is evidence that he carried the infection all over the place, sleeping with boys in all the cities he flew to. There isn’t any way to know who originally infected him, and there’s no way to establish that he was indeed the FIRST to carry it anywhere. He was extraordinarily promiscuious, and continued to be so after learning of his diagnosis. But I think that at that time, AIDS was already pretty well established in certain urban areas of the country. A friend of mine worked for an airline at that time and managed to sleep with Gaetan. He’s dead now, as is Gaetan.
Jill
I read that they proved that we didn’t get the hivies from polio vac or ugh crimes against nature, but from the Africans killing and eating the chimps. I am so angry, if they had just left the damn chimps alone (what kind of dysfunction makes you eat something that looks so much like us???)
[[(what kind of dysfunction makes you eat something that looks so much like us???)]]
I know a guy who looks like a flounder.
Hunger?
Phantomwise
…never seen by waking eyes…
According to Jane Goodall, no. “Bushmeat” is business, not subsisdence; and according to the Bushmeat Project, “bush meat is not poor man’s fare. It is generally two to three times as expensive as beef or pork.”
ben
Chimpanzee meat may have historically been a staple food in that part of the world as opposed to a gourmet product. I would guess that hunting has had less impact on their populations in the long run than habitat destruction, though poaching nowadays doesn’t help. BTW, humans get a lot of diseases from ducks and pigs, too. Only way to prevent zoonoses is to get rid of all other species.
“Monkeymeat” has been eaten in the South for many, many years.
(That’s what the Southern old-timers called SPAM.)
Here is a bit of interesting new evidence on the “where did this new disease come from?” question.
November 9, 1999 – Buried within the genetic blueprint of every human is a snippet of DNA that resembles a gene sequence from the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Humans have been carrying this unwanted genetic baggage around for more than 30 million years, according to researchers from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute (HHMI) at Duke University.
For more, try this link:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1999/11/991110062023.htm
<p align=“center”>Tris</p>