So I’m listening to Christina Aguilera’s new song and I thought I heard her sing the line, “You’re the only one who gets to hump this ass”. And I thought it was an unusual way to express one’s fidelity but I figured it’s the kind of line Aguilera might write.
So I decide to make sure I heard it right and I look up the lyrics online. Oops - it turns out she sang, “You’re the only one who’s ever passed every test”. My mistake.
So I notice something else in the lyrics. Aguilera sings about her own “lovers, both past and present tense”. The later she sings about her man’s “lovers, better not be present tense”. And I thought that was quite an unfair double standard; Aguilera is apparently saying she can have other lovers but her man can’t.
So I thought it was strange that Aguilera was singing about her other lovers in a song about how no other man is as good as the one she has. If this is true, then why would she want to waster her time with other second-rate men?
So I remembered how in several recent interviews, Aguilera has talked about she finds other women attractive and her husband has no problem with this.
So now I figure out the key to the whole song; Aguilera loves her man and no other man is as good as he is. But she also likes to fool around with the ladies on the side.
So I finally realize this song actually is as dirty as I originally thought it was; just not for the reasons I thought it was.