Christina Aguilera, a word please

The BBQ Pit
1

I probably spelled your name wrong. Too bad I don’t have one of your albums so I could go check. However, it’ll be a cold day in hell when that option is available, so let’s just overlook it, shall we?

Now, to get to my point. Last night as I was shopping I heard some sort of Christmas-type song being sung by you, over the stereo system at Old Navy. How did I know it was you? Well, the dead giveaway was the way you were holding every note you possibly could for an extra measure, and then trying to cram several octaves’ worth of trilling into it. Of course, the overwhelming urge to hold my nose was also a strong clue, but that’s just a personal-taste thing.

It’s enough to have a good strong voice. You, Mariah, and Whitney don’t seem to undertand this. You don’t have to behave as though every single whole note represents your last chance to show off your entire range. Could you tone it down a notch, please?

P.S. Wear some real clothes, would you? Having a nice nubile body does not mean one is required by law to wear the sluttiest frocks you can find for every concert and photo shoot. I see you have a belly button. That’s very reassuring. However, my understanding is that this is a fairly permanent physical feature–if we’ve seen it once, we don’t need to keep being reminded you still have one.

2

Christina Aguilera is spelled Christina Aguilera

The *** is pronounced HOT!

3

Hehehe…think that’s bad?
My sister listens to Christina, Brocoli Spears, Destiny’s Child (whom I HATE…I’m so sick of that blanging song!) N’SYNC, etc etc…all day long and SINGS ALONG! She has a good voice-but she tries to sing like Christina, and it sucks.

4

I was hoping that word would be
DIE! DIE! DIE!
Your version worked too. :wink:

5

Guinastasia,

“blanging!”

:smiley:

You’re killing me over here!

6

Agreed about Christina and “vocal exuberance”(To coin a phrase?)

As an aside, I personally don’t find the super skinny “look” appealing AT ALL. I prefer ladies with a little more meat on their bones, so to speak.

At least Aguilera has a good voice. Britney Spears would be better off pursuing a career in porn flicks.

7

I agree with every statement you made. EXCEPT toward the end. I respect your talent without caring for your music. But PLEASE continue wearing your slutty frocks as long as you have a body to hold it. I find your abs quite delicious. I look forward to the time you are in your mid 20’s, your career has stalled, you are a little curvier and you do a Playboy shoot.

Of course, Brittany Spears (a good christian girl, LOL) could whip you in an oil-wrestling match…I digress.

All you teen sensation hotties (even the eye candy for girls), strut your stuff. It may be the best thing you have.

8

Careless english above. A minor syntax error. After the first sentence I was addressing Christina Aguilara, not the op.

9

Eesh… yet another corporate-slut who doesn’t deserve the hype she gets. Her talent and looks are “decent”, at best.

10

but she does seem to have some realy ability, as opposed to Britney Slut.

It is a little unnerving to have a slutty blonde child trying to sound like ella Fitzgerald, tho.

stoid

11

OK, yes, make this happen, please. Mmmm, Britney in porn.

Um, I’m sorry, where were we?

12

Ugh. The screechers. A local radio announcer summed that noise up so well when she said, in the driest voice “My 2 year old can do that too”. I thought I was gonna pee my panties. I hate that high pitched octave climbing pointless screeching. Reminds me of a tantrum throwing tot.

Let’s talk about Oleta Adams instead - now that’s music!

13

I must the only person in America who hasn’t heard a single Christina Aguilera song, has no idea who let the dogs out, and doesn’t even know how to pronounce ‘NSYNC’…whenever I see that, I think it must be the name of an organization for dyslexics in New York City…

14

The “hot”, I take it, means that she is about to burst into flames?

Good. When she does, please rest assured that I will not bother to spit on her to put her out.

15

(Sirens and strobe lights going off!) NOTICE TO COOLDUDE:

You have committed a posting felony. You cut & pasted an ENTIRE post. That’s bad enough. But you cut & pasted the OP!

BAD POSTER!

Lisa, carting cooldude off to the dope dungeon where he’ll be forced to write “Repetition is a waste of time.” 1000 times.

16

They (Christina and Brittany) should do less singing. They should continue to wear the slutty garments.

17

So you have discovered Chestina Haguilera. She and Brit are to music as Thomas Kincade is to art.

18

Tell you what. I will punish myself by listening to Christina Aguilara.

Cut and paste? If it took that many steps I may not have done it. I was entrapped by that “quote” button.

19

Abs? Don’t insult me and my six-pack. She has a belly. Abs denote the possession of some kind of muscle, which I’ve not seen.

Harumph!

20

am i the only one troubled by the fact that she has the body of a 12 year old?

why are you guys talking about a “nice body?” she has no body–nothing interesting unless you think an absence of fat is an amazing feature. it’s kind of creepy to think of the pedophilic implications…

at least Britney Spears has a little bit of muscle. not that i wouldn’t mind if they both were to lie down next to Jimmy Hoffa for a good long while.