We know one he doesn’t have.
I’m kinda surprised he was on Southwest. I would have thought he’d fly United.
I think you mean ejaculated.
Don’t quit yer day job, pal! 
It was a bit of a reach. (Oh, must not go there)
Sorry, didn’t mean to dump this on the hotel desk person.
That’s what a concierge is for!
~VOW
“Pretzels? Cookies?.. oh uh a Napkin?”
Peachy.
And now I wonder, was everyone keeping on their facemasks all the while?
That does sound like Louis C.K. 
.
Before I nope out of the rest of this thread, I’ll just say that fight or flight are not the only two options in an extremely stressful situation, freeze is also one. Confronting someone who is doing something aggressive can be hard, particularly if it’s sexual aggression. Yes, performing a sexual act next to someone without their consent is aggressive. No, she is NOT the one at fault. Please stop blaming the victim.
I am upset and disappointed that the board can’t seem to get beyond the idea that this sort of thing is funny.
What’s funny is that he did it FOUR TIMES before anybody lifted a finger (so to speak). Four times! Like, I could see three wanking sessions on a two hour flight, but that fourth session was just too much.
What makes you think they didn’t do anything after the fourth time? Did you read the article?
They moved him and told him to stop and then he did it again. When the plane landed, they arrested him.
There are a limited number of options a crew has when faced with misbehavior at cruising altitude.
Most of the jokes in this thread seem to be based on a premise different than what actually happened in this case.
Oh come on now. An airline is probably the single safest place a person can be in the entire world. Stand up, walk down the aisle and tell a flight attendant that the guy next to you is wanking it and that you would at least like to change seats. They will take further action. A victim? Please.
I could understand a hesitancy in almost any other place, but nobody can say that they feel like nobody would take their concerns seriously on a major airline.
In all seriousness, not to interrupt the party (and I am very proud of posters as the jokes remind me of the way the board used to be) under the federal law, they will have to prove that what he did violated the D.C. law. How do they prove that? Do they call two or three average D.C. citizens to the witness stand and have them say that in their considered opinion, such activity is and would be considered lewd or obscene in Washington D.C.? I would think that they would have to as it is an element of the charge and cannot be just assumed.
I mean, I would think that such a thing is almost certainly lewd and obscene in Washington D.C., but I don’t know that for a fact.
When you’re heavily socialized to “be nice”, “don’t make a scene”, etc., that’s a lot harder than a male who’s socialized to be assertive seems to want to think, especially since a woman following her “don’t confront” socialization can now be blamed for not taking responsibility for a disturbed stranger’s behavior.
I disagree and I think it is counter to the women’s rights movement of the 1970s. The whole idea was that we as a society shouldn’t treat women like delicate little flowers. Women, we were told, are every bit as capable as a man to participate in society, to be doctors, lawyers, and engineers, and you can say dirty words around them and so forth. With that comes responsibilities.
I don’t think it is too much to expect someone, man or woman, to simply stand up and tell a flight attendant that the guy next to you has whipped his penis out and might spray come on you.
With the changes in airport security it’s been a while since I’ve heard reports of a high jacking.
mmm
No one here is victim-blaming. It’s a humorous story about a serious crime, and we’re just poking fun at the situation and some of the details.
I get what posters are saying about not wanting to cause a ruckus until it gets to be too much.
“Too much” for me would have been the moment he pulled his penis out for the first time. I would have probably confronted him to gauge if he was seriously dangerous or just a whacko (rim shot) but if he did not stop, I would have had no problem telling a flight attendant, and I simply do not understand this idea that people are too fragile to voice their own concerns over something so obviously offensive.
A million dollars?
If 150 people pay $300 a seat, that’s a total revenue of $45,000 for the entire flight. Divert costs vary widely depending on the aircraft, the time involved, and other factors; this article cites costs ranging from $10,000 to $150,000, and for the Southwest Airlines flight in the OP’s article, I’d guess the price tag for a brief touchdown in Reno or Las Vegas to offload the offending passenger, had they opted to do so, would have been close to the low end of the range.