After reading the Al Qaeda claim that they caused the recent power blackout in the USA, I realized that they truly were an all-powerful organization. This morning, I got conclusive proof. I had poured a mug of coffee and turned around to get some low-nutritional-but-high-sugar “toaster pastries”. When I turned back, there was less coffee in my mug and some was on the tabletop. Normally, I would have blamed my stupider cat, but today I realized that it was Al Qaeda! Al Qaeda spills my coffee.
They also hide my slippers and smoke those cigars that I was absolutely positive I still had a couple of.
In other news, Hamas, the Shining Path and the Puerto Rican Macheteros simultaneously claimed responsibility for delaying the shipment of my lates catalog order, on account of it coming from a Jewish business/beina an act of transnational capitalism/representing a non-patronage of local business.
Al-Qaeda delayed the subway this morning. My alarm clock didn’t go off because of the Real IRA. And the CIA causes my bathroom taps to not quite work right.
Oh, dear. My freeze pop has melted. The terrorists have already won.
PS - If al-Qaeda is responsible for Mariano Rivera’s pitching problems, then who can we blame for Jose Mesa? Because one Mitch Williams is plenty for one lifetime, thanks!
The IRA blew up my favorite bookshop - no shit, they really did!
(I was just thinking about this 'cos I found a book I’d bought there)
((“no shit” is probably the wrong phrase since I was sitting on the toilet when I heard the blast!))
I have that same problem with my beer! It CAN’T be ME drinking it all…
The Gov’t needs to develope a new weapon that will spill those Al-Quaeda bastards coffee! Like a long-range model rocket or a robotic paper airplane. We have to show them that YOU DON’T MESS WITH OUR COFFEE!!!
Al-Quaeda starts messing with my coffee and I may try to join the service. Do you think they could be responsible for marriage difficulties because I never thought of that.
